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  • August 22, 2017, 04:56:58 AM

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Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 1135763 times)

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artk2002

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    • The Delian's Commonwealth
And then you have some beers that come pre skunked.... Budweiser comes to mind. The flavor that people associate with Bud is actually skunking. All that about the Oak chips is a marketing gimmick. It is indeed a process used in the brewing, but they then pay a lot of money to take the oak flavor back out of the beer, which ends up skunking it. When I used to run tastings, people would ask how my brand could taste more like Bud, and I would tell them to leave it in the sun for 15 minutes, then taste it again. They always came back saying that it did indeed taste a lot more like Bud after that. Side note, I always worried about the people who said that, enjoyed it, and then spent $10 on a 6 pack of mine to leave it in the sun to make it taste more like Bud....

Although I'm not terribly active at it, I do know more than a few home brewers. They always get a laugh when someone comes into the store wanting a recipe to make a Bud or Miller clone. They get a lecture about how it's much cheaper and easier to just buy the stuff than to try to make it themselves.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Thipu1

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Actually, there was a book titled 'Brewing Beers Like Those You Buy'.  We found it in a Boots back in the mid 1980s.  It included a recipe for the American Budweiser. 

Mr. Thipu thought it was a hoot but it got him interested in home brewing. 

kherbert05

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    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
I once got into trouble for drinking a bottle of ginger beer at work.  (Ginger beer is also a form of soda.)  To be fair, it was in a longneck dark glass bottle, and it looked a lot like beer.   Someone walked by, did a double-take, and asked accusingly "What's that?"  "Ginger beer."  She looked scandalized and said "Maybe no-one told you, but you're not allowed to drink alcohol while at work."  I was like "... alcohol?  It's GINGER beer.  You know - kind of like ginger ALE."

(It was the "maybe you didn't know, but you can't get blotto on the job" thing that cracked me up.  I wonder if she was expecting me to pull a George Costanza.  "Was that wrong?  Because, I gotta tell ya, that's news to me.")


I got in trouble on a school trip for the same thing. It took 3 strangers to convince our American Chaperons that it was a soft drink. They were threatening to send me home. They did the same thing when I used a pay phone (1985) to call a couple of Aunts, Uncles, and cousins to say hi. Apparently I was trying to sneak out for some scrabble because the names on the sheet with phone numbers were all male (Aunt's name is Pat) . Thankfully one of the sane chaperons got pulled into that conversation and she
1. Had met some of my English relatives
2. Recognized my MOTHER'S handwriting.


Still I told our principal, sponsor and head chaperon off about the idiot chaperons who needed to be locked in a cave in the US so as not to sully the reputation of Americans any more.(Think of every ugly American sterotpypical blunder you can and these people did it. Including accusing the restaurant in Scotland of trying to poison us, when they attempted to make Ice Tea. It was horrible but that was because of a miscommunication)  The senior class chaperons were replaced with a Mom of one of the seniors and our principal. We got to eat someplace other than McDonalds the rest of the trip.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Pioneer

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Asking people why they didn't send us their new address when they moved months (or years) earlier when they complained about not getting a Christmas card, birth announcement, graduation announcement, party invitation, or wedding announcement or invitation.

Because apparently WE should have known that they'd moved, divorced, changed their name, gotten a new cell phone number, etc. without being told.


My MIL loves geneology.  She BEGS for wedding, birth, and death announcements.  She has invested a ton of time and money into scrapbooks and binders of photographs and family trees, and lugs them all to every reunion to share. 

It never fails.  Someone is royally miffed that THEIR darling little moppet isn't even mentioned, much less featured.  First you have to tell his relatives that he EXISTS.
"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." -- Will Rogers

nutraxfornerves

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Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

Reika

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From Not Always Right You should have known I changed my name.

I work for a supplemental insurance company, and we get something like that a lot. My usual response to the public announcement is "I'm sorry, ma'am, but we can't make that kind of assumption."

Never mind the fact I work for a Fortune 500 company that has thousands (if not millions) of customers all over the US.

Louie_LI

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Also, I could be wrong on this, but IIRC all of the aging on alcohol is done before it ever hits the bottle. Once it's bottled, it's more or less stable, so having it sitting around isn't going to age it any more in the bottle. The reason some of the older years have certain prestige isn't because of how much more they've aged, but because it's a very good vintage and hasn't been opened yet, and is therefore rare because most bottles of that vintage would have been consumed long ago.

This is true for spirits but not for wine. Wine continues to evolve and change in the bottle. Older years can be prized because they have been aged or because they are rare.

Hazmat

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  • How can I miss you if you won't go away?
    • Chronus Is Latin For Time

Also, I could be wrong on this, but IIRC all of the aging on alcohol is done before it ever hits the bottle. Once it's bottled, it's more or less stable, so having it sitting around isn't going to age it any more in the bottle. The reason some of the older years have certain prestige isn't because of how much more they've aged, but because it's a very good vintage and hasn't been opened yet, and is therefore rare because most bottles of that vintage would have been consumed long ago.

This is true for spirits but not for wine. Wine continues to evolve and change in the bottle. Older years can be prized because they have been aged or because they are rare.
There's nothing like opening a bottle of $1000 vinegar :P.
A guest is a jewel on the cushion of hospitality. -Nero Wolfe

Indiana

Jones

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Also, I could be wrong on this, but IIRC all of the aging on alcohol is done before it ever hits the bottle. Once it's bottled, it's more or less stable, so having it sitting around isn't going to age it any more in the bottle. The reason some of the older years have certain prestige isn't because of how much more they've aged, but because it's a very good vintage and hasn't been opened yet, and is therefore rare because most bottles of that vintage would have been consumed long ago.

This is true for spirits but not for wine. Wine continues to evolve and change in the bottle. Older years can be prized because they have been aged or because they are rare.
There's nothing like opening a bottle of $1000 vinegar :P.
Heh, first thing I thought of was the Frasier episode in which he and Niles obtain a rare vintage....that had been stored near the furnace, in the basement!
A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems. CS Lewis

Jocelyn

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Some beers also improve with age- 
My nephew made a run of beer right before he deployed. Most of it, he just packed away as he normally would, but for some reason, he wrapped several bottles in a blanket. I don't care for beer, but at the tasting after he got home, everyone said that the latter was far superior to the former, so much that it was hard to believe they were both from the same batch.

White Dragon

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DragonSon's preferred breakfast cereal is a brand called Golden Grahams.
DragonSon just turned 17.

Last week, we were at a barbeque and standing around making s'mores (graham crackers, marsmallow and chocolate.)

After about his second S'more, Dragonson says "You know, I just realized that Golden Grahams are made to be the same flavour as graham crackers."  :o

Really? He's eaten both of these items for 17 years and is only just now figuring this out? ::)
"I think her scattergun was only loaded with commas and full-stops, although some of them cuddled together for warmth and produced little baby colons and semi-colons." ~ Margo


audhs

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

oogyda

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Sitting in the cubicle farm I once worked in, I heard the woman in the next cubicle asking for a phone number. 

"I need a listing for John Doe in Shre-vee-port.  It's in L.A.  No, I don't know what part...it says Shre-vee-port." 

I walked over, hung up her phone and looked at the account on her computer screen.  Then I told her that LA stands for Louisiana and it's pronounced Shreeve-port. 

She had called directory assistance in southern California.

It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

cwm

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

I want your mayor to come be our mayor. He sounds like fun.

Pen^2

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

The world needs more mayors like yours.