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Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 1571148 times)

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Margo

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1260 on: December 09, 2013, 04:44:26 AM »
My cousin's husband is from Malaysia but moved to the UK to go to school - he uses his father's forename name as his surname, which I assume is fairly standard.

As he and my cousin are settled in the UK they both use that as their surname. (The children both have am English christian name, Malaysian middle name and the same surname)

 I think in general people are more flexible over how they chose to name their children. One of my aunts kept her own name when she married - the children (one born before they married, one after) both have her surname, no that of my uncle. And I've met quite a lot of people who either have daughters taking mother's name and sons taking father's name, or simply alternating

Ereine

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1261 on: December 09, 2013, 04:46:45 AM »
I think that the use of a mother's name can mean that the person is illegitimate, at least that was the convention in Finland.

iridaceae

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1262 on: December 09, 2013, 05:57:35 AM »

WolfWay, you've cleared something up for me here -- thanks.  I recently came across a thriller -- which proved boring to me, I'm afraid -- translated from the Icelandic of one Arnaldur Indridason. I knew about the Icelandic -son / -dottir practice, but had been given to understand that the "suffix-ing" was always done to the father's name; and "Indrida" seemed plainly, a woman's name -- leaving me a little puzzled.  But I learn now, that it can happen that the mother's name is thus used.

I don't know if Indrida is male or female (google is not being much help) but remember that not all languages consider female names to be the only ones ending in an a.

Think of: Luca, Ezra, Andrea,  Chinua, Attila, Rama and Abdulla.
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cabbageweevil

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1263 on: December 09, 2013, 08:56:24 AM »
Ereine, iridaceae: thanks for the thoughts.  My impression (based on no deep knowledge) about Scandinavian countries and languages, is that names ending in -a are more likely to be female there, than male: but I could be making an "interesting assumption".

Lynn2000

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1264 on: December 09, 2013, 09:31:51 AM »
I think in general people are more flexible over how they chose to name their children. One of my aunts kept her own name when she married - the children (one born before they married, one after) both have her surname, no that of my uncle. And I've met quite a lot of people who either have daughters taking mother's name and sons taking father's name, or simply alternating

I mentioned this earlier, but my friend and her husband have two children (both born after they were married). The first child has the father's last name and the second child has the mother's last name. (My friend did not change her name upon marriage.) So the parents are Amy Adams and Bob Barker, and the kids are Carl Barker and David Adams. Thus two people in the household are Adams and two are Barker.

Personally I'm not a big fan... There's so many situations now where the names are just inherently complex (blended families, for example), it seems silly to me to intentionally create complexity. But, on the other hand, I think it's more of a personal preference, definitely not rising to the level of naming your kid Felon (in an English-speaking place) or something like that.
~Lynn2000

Outdoor Girl

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1265 on: December 09, 2013, 09:42:53 AM »
When my brother and SIL got married, she kept her maiden name.  When their first child was born, they gave him both last names - hers-his.  When their second child was born, they actually considered giving him his-hers as his surname.  Fortunately, saner heads prevailed and both boys have the same last name.  It is much easier.

Although, they may end up with different names after all.  The oldest one is considering an official name change, dropping his mother's name and just going with his Dad's.  The younger one may decide to follow suit, though.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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Hillia

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1266 on: December 09, 2013, 09:53:23 AM »
I didn't mean to create confusion when we named DS, but unintentionally a little crept in.  His name is Robert Percival Albus Hillia  (ok, that would actually be an awesome name :-) ).  We always called him Percy.  When he hit the middle school 'my parents are idiots' phase, he decided that he wanted to go by Robert and has stuck with it.  It was a little bumpy for awhile as we transitioned, and I still call him Percy in general, but I do try to remember he's Robert to friends, teachers, and coworkers.

Elfmama

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1267 on: December 09, 2013, 10:09:57 AM »
When I was at university there were a couple of students where he was FirstName Father'sLastName and she was FirstName Mother'sLastName. I remember them as being from one of the Nordic countries but it was a long time ago and that may be wrong. Certainly they said that was normal for their culture, and that it was taking the university some time to comprehend that John Smith and Mary Jones were twins. it didn't help, or maybe it did, that while obviously they weren't identical twins, physically they were very much alike.
They might have been from Iceland, where the children's last name is their parent's first name with a suffix specifying -son or -dottir (daughter).

So John Smith and Mary Brown's children would be named Bob Johnson and Sally Johnsdottir (i.e. John's daughter). Bob Johnson's children in turn would have the lastname Bobson or Bobsdottir.

It could be that the parents decided to split the naming between the two parent's so the son has the father's name (Bob Johnson) but the sister had the mothers name (Sally Marysdottir).
That's a holdover from the viking-era (and earlier) Norse naming practices.  It's a particular book-peeve of mine when a historical novel is laid in that era and place, but does not understand the naming practices.  (Yes, Catherine Coulter, I'm looking at YOU.)  There is no "Haraldsson family" and Ragnar Haraldsson's wife is NOT Inga Haraldsson -- she's Inga Eriksdottir.   (Disclaimer: I've just pulled Norse names out of the air here.  Don't remember if they were the actual names used, but Coulter did both of those things. Oh, and also fell into the trap of using "Viking" as if it was the name of the people, instead of a job description.)
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Hmmmmm

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1268 on: December 09, 2013, 10:21:53 AM »
I didn't mean to create confusion when we named DS, but unintentionally a little crept in.  His name is Robert Percival Albus Hillia  (ok, that would actually be an awesome name :-) ).  We always called him Percy.  When he hit the middle school 'my parents are idiots' phase, he decided that he wanted to go by Robert and has stuck with it.  It was a little bumpy for awhile as we transitioned, and I still call him Percy in general, but I do try to remember he's Robert to friends, teachers, and coworkers.

I think this is pretty common at least in our family. My dad's family always called him by a shortened version of his middle name. But once he left home he started going by his first name. My mom didn't like her first name and had her family switch to her middle name by the time she started school so she always went by it. I doubt most people except relatives even knew it wasn't her first name. My DH's brother's family always called him by his middle name but when he started school his teachers used his first name and he never corrected them so outside the family he is firstname but inside he is still middle name. We call my son by his middle name and gave him the option of switching to his first name when he started school, switched to a new elementary, discussed again when he moved to middle school. But he likes his middle name and has stuck with it pretty much. I guess when he starts his professional life he can make a decision again but I doubt he'll ever switch. When our DD was little, we used both her first and middle name so she could decide which one she liked best. She chose her first name and only her first name. She refuses to go by any of the more common nicknames associated with it.

jaxsue

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1269 on: December 09, 2013, 10:25:49 AM »
When I was at university there were a couple of students where he was FirstName Father'sLastName and she was FirstName Mother'sLastName. I remember them as being from one of the Nordic countries but it was a long time ago and that may be wrong. Certainly they said that was normal for their culture, and that it was taking the university some time to comprehend that John Smith and Mary Jones were twins. it didn't help, or maybe it did, that while obviously they weren't identical twins, physically they were very much alike.
They might have been from Iceland, where the children's last name is their parent's first name with a suffix specifying -son or -dottir (daughter).

So John Smith and Mary Brown's children would be named Bob Johnson and Sally Johnsdottir (i.e. John's daughter). Bob Johnson's children in turn would have the lastname Bobson or Bobsdottir.

It could be that the parents decided to split the naming between the two parent's so the son has the father's name (Bob Johnson) but the sister had the mothers name (Sally Marysdottir).
That's a holdover from the viking-era (and earlier) Norse naming practices.  It's a particular book-peeve of mine when a historical novel is laid in that era and place, but does not understand the naming practices.  (Yes, Catherine Coulter, I'm looking at YOU.)  There is no "Haraldsson family" and Ragnar Haraldsson's wife is NOT Inga Haraldsson -- she's Inga Eriksdottir.   (Disclaimer: I've just pulled Norse names out of the air here.  Don't remember if they were the actual names used, but Coulter did both of those things. Oh, and also fell into the trap of using "Viking" as if it was the name of the people, instead of a job description.)

Interesting. I'm into genealogy, and have a lot of Viking history in the family. That explains a lot of what I've found!

oogyda

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1270 on: December 09, 2013, 10:28:58 AM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

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bloo

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1271 on: December 09, 2013, 11:40:53 AM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

Donna is hysterical and lightning quick!

OT but my DH has a name (let's pretend it's 'Mark') and ALL of his relatives refer to him as 'Marky' because his dad is also 'Mark'.

I loathe 'Marky' so I just call him 'Mark' and deal with the resultant confusion over 'which Mark?'

Carotte

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1272 on: December 09, 2013, 01:59:30 PM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

95% of my SO's friends go by a nickname, it was pretty weird in the start when they mentioned my SO by his nickname, or for them when I talked about him with his real name.
Last week I got an email from a John, mentioning having talked about something at Peter's party in the mails header (I use gmail so have the start of the first line as a "preview"). Before I could open the mail I was like, "Who is John? do I even know a Peter?", after reading it I was "Oh yeah, Red, from that night at Mario's place!"  ::).

Anyhow, from the way our customers react you'd think the world has been keeping the bigest secret from them and they are now just learning about it, double-sided sticky tape, (and double sided wrapping paper). Yes it's very handy when we wrap your gifts, and I know you're just making conversation and blabling on about while you wait, but when 95% of your customers mention the exact same thing everytime it gets old quickly and you're left wondering what other high technology you're the only one aware of (erasable fountain pen ink? those mittens/fingerless gloves combo? rechargeable batteries?...)

cwm

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1273 on: December 09, 2013, 02:13:24 PM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

Donna is hysterical and lightning quick!

OT but my DH has a name (let's pretend it's 'Mark') and ALL of his relatives refer to him as 'Marky' because his dad is also 'Mark'.

I loathe 'Marky' so I just call him 'Mark' and deal with the resultant confusion over 'which Mark?'

My boyfriend goes by his first middle name. His legal name is Firstname Middlename Odd Lastname. Apparently the Odd is a family tradition and it's Scandinavian (not sure which country it's from).

His dad's name is Firstname Odd Lastname, with the first and last names being the same. So BF isn't technically a Junior because he's got an extra name in there, but he's always gone by his middle name, except in legal documents. It really threw me for a loop when I was house sitting last spring and brought his mail in, I was half convinced it was all for the wrong person.

A friend of ours has a weird name situation. Her given name is (falsified) Hannah. She was married to a guy, took his last name, had a kid. Kid was very ill and passed, Hannah got divorced, but kept the last name because she wanted to remember her son and distance herself from her family. She went by Hannah during all of this. Fast forward, she gets engaged again, to another guy with a different last name. They get married, but now she doesn't want to go by Hannah anymore, she wants to go by a different name entirely, which is a completely made up name. (She's admitted it's made up, I'm not just saying that because I'm not familiar with it.) So on Facebook her name is MadeUp Hannah MaidenName ExLastName LastName. So anyone who knows her as MadeUp finds it really confusing when half of her friends refer to her as MadeUp and Hannah in the same conversation.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1274 on: December 09, 2013, 02:19:32 PM »
My Dad is the younger brother.  His older brother was named after their grandfather, Dad was named after his father.  So he has his legal name, Junior and another nickname that he got as a kid.  When my Aunt first came on the scene, she thought her boyfriend had 3 brothers.  It was a while before she figured it out.

Now, Dad is mostly known by his legal name.  But whenever we are with his family, he gets nickname.  And my brother decided his kids would call him Grampa Nickname when they were born.  So it sometimes gets a bit confusing.  Nobody calls him Junior, though.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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