An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People

[Dr. F.]

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder. 

did you mean orifice or organ?  Because the two organs are accessed through the same orifice

Ah - Mom told me a horror story about a young woman who had NOT ever seen a doctor before getting married...finally came in after her honeymoon in real pain.  She'd been told that things would be painful at first, when her hymen broke - but would not be painful after that.

Her hymen was unusually thick with a couple of tiny holes in it (so she'd been menstruating) but apparently she made it into the medical books (or at least that doctor's anec-data files) because it was also still intact...and what should have been an almost unnoticeable and slightly in front of the other opening was enlarged, inflamed, and....well...

The doctor got a scapel & cut the hymen, used a small mirror to show her where her lady parts were, and instructed her to tell her new husband that they needed to wait a few days for the inflammation to go down - then she needed to make sure that he got the right orifice....

OW. OW OW OW OW OW. OW!

Did she not get a UTI? Oh, and OW.

[Hillia]

I once supervised a young man who had been raised by a single mom in a very, very sheltered style.  He'd been homeschooled, with no contact with other homeschoolers; their only contacts outside their home were members of their small, fundamentalist church.  He'd only been to the doctor once or twice in his life; no annual checkups, vaccinations, etc.  So when he became eligible for health insurance through the company, he had no idea how insurance worked: premiums, deductibles, copays, etc.  I was helping him understand the various options and had to explain that no, the company did not pay his costs after he met his deductible - he still had to pay, just a smaller amount.

[VorFemme]

The time I went to the work at the car insurance place and found photos for a damage claim from a bank.  It seems that someone had tried to use the drive up teller machine - while driving a rented moving truck that was taller than the overhang on the machine.  They had left their debit card in the machine when they realized that the teller machine was going to be torn up by the moving van being stuck....so the bank knew who had been driving (and could confirm with footage from the security camera that it matched the guy who had the account). 

I was so glad that I was only required to forward the photos to the adjuster on the claim - instead of try to keep a straight face while talking to Mr. My 10 foot truck can go under the 9 foot six inch (measurements on bar restricting access to that lane) overhang (remember, I saw the still photos taken from the security footage).

I could only assume that he was so used to driving up in his regular vehicle, that he just "forgot" that the rented moving truck was NOT the same size....

Either that - or he was really, really bad at math.

[Sara Crewe]

The time I went to the work at the car insurance place and found photos for a damage claim from a bank.  It seems that someone had tried to use the drive up teller machine - while driving a rented moving truck that was taller than the overhang on the machine.  They had left their debit card in the machine when they realized that the teller machine was going to be torn up by the moving van being stuck....so the bank knew who had been driving (and could confirm with footage from the security camera that it matched the guy who had the account). 

I was so glad that I was only required to forward the photos to the adjuster on the claim - instead of try to keep a straight face while talking to Mr. My 10 foot truck can go under the 9 foot six inch (measurements on bar restricting access to that lane) overhang (remember, I saw the still photos taken from the security footage).

I could only assume that he was so used to driving up in his regular vehicle, that he just "forgot" that the rented moving truck was NOT the same size....

Either that - or he was really, really bad at math.

I was once in a police van where this happened (on my way back from a site visit with my client) - the driver tried to go through a car lane at the tolls and took the flashing light bar off the top.

My client found the entire thing incredibly amusing.

[Elisabunny]

The time I went to the work at the car insurance place and found photos for a damage claim from a bank.  It seems that someone had tried to use the drive up teller machine - while driving a rented moving truck that was taller than the overhang on the machine.  They had left their debit card in the machine when they realized that the teller machine was going to be torn up by the moving van being stuck....so the bank knew who had been driving (and could confirm with footage from the security camera that it matched the guy who had the account). 

I was so glad that I was only required to forward the photos to the adjuster on the claim - instead of try to keep a straight face while talking to Mr. My 10 foot truck can go under the 9 foot six inch (measurements on bar restricting access to that lane) overhang (remember, I saw the still photos taken from the security footage).

I could only assume that he was so used to driving up in his regular vehicle, that he just "forgot" that the rented moving truck was NOT the same size....

Either that - or he was really, really bad at math.

I was once in a police van where this happened (on my way back from a site visit with my client) - the driver tried to go through a car lane at the tolls and took the flashing light bar off the top.

My client found the entire thing incredibly amusing.

The town where I went to college had an underpass that regularly trapped large trucks, in spite of having the height posted. 

[VorFemme]

Then there was the guy with a really big customized pick up (RBCPU) with a really expensive & fancy paint job, chromed everything, and all kinds of blinged out stuff (seriously, it was in car shows as advertising for the people who'd done the work & he apparently got paid something for it since he was going to be driving a rental while RBCPU was under the spotlight for days).  It needed brake work.  Usual car repair place couldn't do it due to its size - so he called a tow truck.

The one that showed up weighed about the same (or possibly slightly less) than the RBCPU and he kept trying to get a different tow truck...he was told that it would be HOURS before another truck could get there (accident on highway or something had the rest of the tow trucks in the area tied up) and the guy in the tow truck insisted that the RBCPU was inside the safety limits for his tow truck to pull the few miles to the specialty brake place.

He noticed that the tow truck driver seemed to have a little trouble handling things....but the guy got everything set up & took off down the road relatively slowly.  So he & his son got in his son's vehicle to follow RBCPU to the brake place....lost sight of the tow truck when it went around a corner into a residential area (short cut, I think). 

Then they came around a corner & found tow truck in ditch & RBCPU hung up on the wires coming up from the ground to a telephone pole....and there were going to be a lot of body repair costs to RBCPU plus both vehicles would have to be towed to a shop as there was tire & wheel damage.

His commentary under the photos was that he should have known to wait for the tow truck & driver that usually got sent to take RBCPU to the car shows....as it was much larger (and the driver much more knowledgeable about handling RBCPU) than the one that showed up....but he'd been in a hurry to get back to work....and now...he was going to have to live with having made the wrong decision.

The tow truck driver was nowhere to be found while both vehicles were in the ditch & hung up on the wires....never did find out if the police found him to ask him how he ended up doing that...  I'd be willing to bet that the tow truck company was not happy about the situation, either...as he was mentioning suing them for lost earnings (RBCPU was being set up to go to two car shows in the area over the next three weeks - it was NOT going to be ready in time - *IF* the body was dented, it might never be able to be in another car show).

[kherbert05]

The town where I went to college had an underpass that regularly trapped large trucks, in spite of having the height posted.

There is an underpass near sis's that dips way down. There is a tollway going N/S and Interstate E/W. The Interstate has an overpass, the tollway goes over the interstate. Even before the tollway existed it was a deep underpass if you were on the feeder road.  It has a flood gauge posted in it and is quiet near the Spring Branch ISD bus barn.  If there was a gully washer of a storm near the beginning or end of the school day you could expect to hear that a SBISD school bus got trapped in the flood water there.


A few years ago they redid the intersection. For north/South bound feeders they added a fly bridge that goes over the Interstate bypassing the lights and the  underpass. They also seemed to have improve the drainage so the water doesn't get so high.

[sunnygirl]

If anyone is familiar with the UK TV show 'Top Gear,' Jeremy Clarkson got his car stuck on the bridge at the end of my road once because he didn't pay attention to the width restriction.

[catgal]

A co-worker and I were talking about some drug detection dogs that we had just visited for work.  I was saying how happy the dogs were and they clearly enjoy their work.  She was a little upset about it and said how the dogs were only happy because they were on drugs and it was cruel to keep them doped up.  I explained that the dogs are trained to find the scent of drugs and then get to play with a toy and get praise and games, not eat the drugs they find.  She was relieved to hear the Australian dogs are well looked after. She is from a South American country and said she had doubts on training being the same there as here.

[jedikaiti]

If anyone is familiar with the UK TV show 'Top Gear,' Jeremy Clarkson got his car stuck on the bridge at the end of my road once because he didn't pay attention to the width restriction.

I love that show!

[Luci]

One town we lived in had the road repaved at the underpass but didn't change the height restriction by 3". Oops.

And one underpass swooped under the above road and the highway department measured right at the underpass, but when a big rig went through and got to the point where the front and rear we on opposite sides of the underpass, the rig was raised so that it needed more more than the stated restriction. I guess they forgot their high school geometry.

[menley]

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder. 

did you mean orifice or organ?  Because the two organs are accessed through the same orifice

Ah - Mom told me a horror story about a young woman who had NOT ever seen a doctor before getting married...finally came in after her honeymoon in real pain.  She'd been told that things would be painful at first, when her hymen broke - but would not be painful after that.

Her hymen was unusually thick with a couple of tiny holes in it (so she'd been menstruating) but apparently she made it into the medical books (or at least that doctor's anec-data files) because it was also still intact...and what should have been an almost unnoticeable and slightly in front of the other opening was enlarged, inflamed, and....well...

The doctor got a scapel & cut the hymen, used a small mirror to show her where her lady parts were, and instructed her to tell her new husband that they needed to wait a few days for the inflammation to go down - then she needed to make sure that he got the right orifice....

OW. OW OW OW OW OW. OW!

Did she not get a UTI? Oh, and OW.

Oh my gosh, that's awful.

When I was little, my grandmother had early onset dementia and my grandfather was telling about having to help with her tampons and such (why he was telling this to a six year old, I have no idea). Anyway, my mom was a scientist and was really big on appropriate names for organs (instead of cutesy terms like wee wee or whatever), and so even at 6 I knew all of the parts of the body pretty well. My grandfather said something about not understanding why the tampon didn't stop her from wetting her pants, and according to my mom I looked at him and said, "Are you stupid? They're different holes." Apparently at 6 I wasn't as concerned with etiquette as I was with being right.

[magicdomino]

A co-worker and I were talking about some drug detection dogs that we had just visited for work.  I was saying how happy the dogs were and they clearly enjoy their work.  She was a little upset about it and said how the dogs were only happy because they were on drugs and it was cruel to keep them doped up.  I explained that the dogs are trained to find the scent of drugs and then get to play with a toy and get praise and games, not eat the drugs they find.  She was relieved to hear the Australian dogs are well looked after. She is from a South American country and said she had doubts on training being the same there as here.

*blinks*

Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure it is the same kind of training, regardless of what or where.  A dog flying on drugs would have trouble finding its own tail.

[Virg]

magicdomino wrote:

"Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure it is the same kind of training, regardless of what or where.  A dog flying on drugs would have trouble finding its own tail."

Considering that the person mentioning this disparity in training also seemed to think that they fed the dogs the drugs that they found, I'm inclined to think that they don't exactly have a tight grip on the level of similarity in training techniques.  Of all of the things I could imagine the authorities doing with drugs the dogs located, "give them to the dogs as a reward" wouldn't even appear on my list.

Virg

[VorFemme]

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder. 

did you mean orifice or organ?  Because the two organs are accessed through the same orifice

Ah - Mom told me a horror story about a young woman who had NOT ever seen a doctor before getting married...finally came in after her honeymoon in real pain.  She'd been told that things would be painful at first, when her hymen broke - but would not be painful after that.

Her hymen was unusually thick with a couple of tiny holes in it (so she'd been menstruating) but apparently she made it into the medical books (or at least that doctor's anec-data files) because it was also still intact...and what should have been an almost unnoticeable and slightly in front of the other opening was enlarged, inflamed, and....well...

The doctor got a scapel & cut the hymen, used a small mirror to show her where her lady parts were, and instructed her to tell her new husband that they needed to wait a few days for the inflammation to go down - then she needed to make sure that he got the right orifice....

OW. OW OW OW OW OW. OW!

Did she not get a UTI? Oh, and OW.

Oh my gosh, that's awful.

When I was little, my grandmother had early onset dementia and my grandfather was telling about having to help with her tampons and such (why he was telling this to a six year old, I have no idea). Anyway, my mom was a scientist and was really big on appropriate names for organs (instead of cutesy terms like wee wee or whatever), and so even at 6 I knew all of the parts of the body pretty well. My grandfather said something about not understanding why the tampon didn't stop her from wetting her pants, and according to my mom I looked at him and said, "Are you stupid? They're different holes." Apparently at 6 I wasn't as concerned with etiquette as I was with being right.

I have no idea - but the story was told to me roughly twenty years ago and was supposed to have happened more than twenty years before that - so maybe they got lucky about not carrying them?   

Or maybe the week of rest was for more than just allowing the hymen to heal and the urethra to shrink to a more normal size?

I have to admit that I squeezed my thighs & knees together tightly when I heard that story for the first time....

++++++++++++++++++++

Next story - from a college instructor - dated in the very early days of fertility treatment - so at least fifty years ago if not longer.  He'd heard these from one of his professors who worked in the field when it was younger.

A doctor and his wife were in for diagnosis as to why they had never had a pregnancy.  After checking to make sure that they were doing the appropriate deeds (don't laugh - apparently one very religious couple was praying about getting pregnant but weren't doing anything BUT praying - things worked out well once they were told of other activities with a higher success rate on getting pregnant AND that it was okay to do THAT since they were married and doing it for the purpose of having a baby - did I mention that they were apparently very, very religious).  I was a preacher's kid and could believe that one...lots of preaching about the "sins" of lust & fornication without a lot of preaching on the joys of marriage...it could happen.  Although they had to have had very low s3x drives....

The one that flabbered my ghast was the second story.  The doctor and his wife....checking the male is always easier, a sample jar, a little time alone, and a microscope - yep, they are present, numerous, formed normally, and active....

On to the more difficult female checks - where they noted that she had no body hair.  She didn't shave.  Her external organs appeared fairly normal but they couldn't find ovaries, a uterus, or other equipment that they expected.

What they did find was a "blind opening" (I think it's called) and...undescended testicles.  "She" was a pseudo-hermaphrodite - something so rare that a medically trained person hadn't recognized that he was married to one.

Rather than blow up the marriage by telling them that "she" was genetically male but apparently did not react to testosterone at all - they were told to adopt, as her "female organs" were incapable of supporting a viable pregnancy.  But it did make it into the medical books years later AND certainly the anecdata banks on "odd things we found people doing or not doing before coming to the fertility clinic".