Author Topic: Should I go....  (Read 1569 times)

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bo

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Should I go....
« on: May 24, 2013, 11:40:31 PM »
This might be the wrong topic, if so mods please move.

I have an acquaintance I have known for years. Her husband is friend with my husband and we are friendly when we see each other.

She bbq's a lot in the summer,sometimes we are invited and sometimes we aren't, no biggie. I had a feeling for a few weeks that she was going to have a Memorial Day bbq, but we were never formally invited, which is fine. Today her husband sent out an e-mail inviting anyone that didn't know about the bbq.

My problem is, I feel funny going, I just feel if she wanted us there she would have invited me (she has my e-mail and we are facebook friends.). Now DH wants to go, and I don't know if her husband mentioned inviting us. My questions are should we just show up?, send her a fb message asking if I should bring something, and if so how do I phrase it? I kinda want to phrase the message putting out feelers if she even minds us coming. Or am I over thinking this because the husband invited us.

Thanks in advance.

NyaChan

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2013, 11:42:22 PM »
Can you give us the husband's wording?  It might help us figure out whether what's going on.  On its face, it seems like an email inviting people to a bbq = bbq, but since you sound unsure, I'm wondering if there is something I'm missing?

bo

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2013, 11:44:42 PM »
They were e-mailing about something else and he said "Oh BTW BBQ at my house Sunday after 3ish if anyone is nterested. "

Deetee

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2013, 11:46:06 PM »
That sounds like an invite to me. Unless there is other background like that wife does all the work and complains about her husband inviting people, I would just take this as an invite and go.

bo

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2013, 11:47:52 PM »
I just don't want to feel like I am crashing it! I could be over thinking this lol

NyaChan

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2013, 11:48:19 PM »
I agree with Deetee - unless you are aware of some history where the wife always issues invites to you or the husband has overextended their guest list in the past, that sounds like an invite.

veronaz

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2013, 11:54:15 PM »
I do feel you’re over-thinking it.  It doesn't seem like that big of a deal to the wife.

At this stage a FB message wouldn’t be the route to take.  First you and DH need to decide whether or not you’re going.  If Yes, call and ask wife what you can bring.

If you aren’t going, DH can reply "Thanks, other plans."   (Doesn’t sound like you want to go, but a decision needs to be made quickly.)
« Last Edit: May 24, 2013, 11:57:19 PM by veronaz »

peaches

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2013, 01:06:57 AM »
They were e-mailing about something else and he said "Oh BTW BBQ at my house Sunday after 3ish if anyone is nterested. "

I think it's a sincere invitation. The wording is a little off-putting: "if anyone is interested" doesn't sound very personal or inviting. Still, I can imagine my DH writing something like that. And what he'd really mean is "we'd love to see you".

I would take the him at his word. Since your DH is good friends with him and wants to go, why not? I like the idea of a follow-up call to the wife to see if you can bring anything and to give her a heads-up.




MariaE

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2013, 03:59:18 AM »
They were e-mailing about something else and he said "Oh BTW BBQ at my house Sunday after 3ish if anyone is nterested. "

I think it's a sincere invitation. The wording is a little off-putting: "if anyone is interested" doesn't sound very personal or inviting. Still, I can imagine my DH writing something like that. And what he'd really mean is "we'd love to see you".

I could see myself using a wording like that, if I wanted to emphasise that is was a low-key event and nobody should feel obligated to come, but they were more than welcome if they did.

Never thought of it as off-putting  :P
 
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NyaChan

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Re: Should I go....
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2013, 01:14:23 PM »
 :-[  I do that too.  Normally happens when I'm inviting people but unsure of whether they would want to come vs. do some other event, so don't want to put them in the position of feeling uncomfortable saying no.