Author Topic: Adult siblings and family holidays - Update #15  (Read 4284 times)

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missmolly

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Re: Adult siblings and family holidays
« Reply #15 on: May 29, 2013, 09:01:51 AM »
Small Update -

I spoke to my Mum about the trip, (she already knows about it, my Dad isn't back from interstate but I'll talk to him about it later).
I mentioned Trent and she immediately said that there was no need for Trent to come unless I want him there. I explained to her that I'll give Trent the option to pay his own way when we have more concrete plans - which she agreed was a good idea.

I'm not sure how my father might feel about it, since it would really be him that would be in the position to pay for Trent, but at least I know for certain that Mum won't try and talk him into it  >:D
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out". Chekhov.

ladyknight1

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Re: Adult siblings and family holidays - Update #15
« Reply #16 on: May 29, 2013, 09:24:47 AM »
In September of last year, my extended family went on a joint vacation. Since we traveled from different places, we only split the cost of the vacation home we rented.

It was: mother, father, myself, my DH, my DS, my sister1, her DH, and sister2. To make it fair and even, the cost of the vacation rental and fees was split 8 ways, and payment was due to me (I paid for the whole thing) 6 weeks before. Everything else was piecemeal. We took turns cooking, with each couple taking a few meals. It worked out well, and the only glitch is that not everyone wanted to go and do everything, so it was great that we had 3 vehicles as we were an hour from the closest town.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Adult siblings and family holidays
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2013, 10:34:06 AM »
Small Update -

I spoke to my Mum about the trip, (she already knows about it, my Dad isn't back from interstate but I'll talk to him about it later).
I mentioned Trent and she immediately said that there was no need for Trent to come unless I want him there. I explained to her that I'll give Trent the option to pay his own way when we have more concrete plans - which she agreed was a good idea.

I'm not sure how my father might feel about it, since it would really be him that would be in the position to pay for Trent, but at least I know for certain that Mum won't try and talk him into it  >:D

Oh, I hadn't understood there was the possibility that Trent would try and get your parents to pay for his share of the trip. Honestly, it would bother me if I was gifting a trip to my parents and then they turned around and paid for a sibling to join the trip. For some reason it would feel like part of my trip was negated. I'm sure others would see it differently. Your Dad could look at it as "DD is paying for a wonderful trip and to make it a full family vacation I only have to pay a 1/4 of the cost." But it would still change the idea of "Mom and Dad I'm treating you to a all expense paid vacation."

But I have absolutely no good advice on how to broach that subject without it coming across as a little exlusionary to your brother.

Hope it goes well.

Roe

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Re: Adult siblings and family holidays
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2013, 10:56:17 AM »
Small Update -

I spoke to my Mum about the trip, (she already knows about it, my Dad isn't back from interstate but I'll talk to him about it later).
I mentioned Trent and she immediately said that there was no need for Trent to come unless I want him there. I explained to her that I'll give Trent the option to pay his own way when we have more concrete plans - which she agreed was a good idea.

I'm not sure how my father might feel about it, since it would really be him that would be in the position to pay for Trent, but at least I know for certain that Mum won't try and talk him into it  >:D

Oh, I hadn't understood there was the possibility that Trent would try and get your parents to pay for his share of the trip. Honestly, it would bother me if I was gifting a trip to my parents and then they turned around and paid for a sibling to join the trip. For some reason it would feel like part of my trip was negated. I'm sure others would see it differently. Your Dad could look at it as "DD is paying for a wonderful trip and to make it a full family vacation I only have to pay a 1/4 of the cost." But it would still change the idea of "Mom and Dad I'm treating you to a all expense paid vacation."

But I have absolutely no good advice on how to broach that subject without it coming across as a little exlusionary to your brother.

Hope it goes well.

I'd feel the same, Hmmmmm.  This is why I posed the question for the OP and it doesn't seem like she would mind. 

I don't know why it would feel 'off' for me but it definitely would.