Meet the baby

[LeveeWoman]

No matter what you want it to be it, it is a gift grab.

I disagree.  Just because you'd like to celebrate your child and have them welcomed into your circle of family and friends do NOT mean it's a gift grab.

The term 'gift grab' seems to be thrown around quite a bit lately.  It's losing its meaning. I certainly wouldn't describe what the OP is doing as a gift grab.

Then I guess we disagree.  If I were invited to a meet the baby party, it would never occur to me to not take a gift.
[/quote
The difference is intent. By your argument, any social occasion can be seen as a gift grab.

Not hardly. 

And I never said it was her intent.  I am voicing my opinion on the idea of a Meet the baby party.

Who not have a BBQ and call it a BBQ?  People know the baby has arrived?  It is safe to assme they will meet the baby at a BBQ hosted by the parents.

She plans to serve light refreshments, not a full meal that would cost a lot more.

[Katana_Geldar]

People sure get uptight about things. My family recently had a "meet the baby" get together. No gifts expected at all.

[Betelnut]

For a "Meet the baby" party, I would probably bring a gift but it would be more of a gift for the baby (a small board book, t-shirt, etc.) that is less than $10.  For a shower, I'd bring more of a gift for the parents (diapers, etc.) and it would probably more be expensive ($20-30).

[MOM21SON]

People sure get uptight about things. My family recently had a "meet the baby" get together. No gifts expected at all.

So having a opinion that was asked for and because it is different than most is being uptight?

[Amava]

"Meet the baby" parties are the norm in my social circles and culture.
We do not have the concept of "baby showers" - we just don't know it (first I ever heard about such a thing existing was here on this site).
When I was little and going to church was the norm, the norm was that the celebration for welcoming the baby by friends and family, was the baptism festivity. Now that the majority of people (at least the ones I usually deal with) are no longer involved with church, this celebration has been replaced by a "meet the baby party".

People here do a lot worse things than you do, though. Many include a registry and/or a "diaper account" - a bank account in which people can donate money!! I think /that/ is rather tacky - but most people here think even that is normal. Worse, even: some include the registry and the diaper account number in the birth announcement card they send to people who are not even invited to any sort of welcoming party!! 

Your scenario would be fine for me. I /would/ bring a gift, gladly - I just don't like to see it mentioned on the invitation / card as if the parents take it for granted or directly ask for it, you know? But no, I have no problem with yours.

[Seven Ate Nine]

No matter what you want it to be it, it is a gift grab.

I disagree.  Just because you'd like to celebrate your child and have them welcomed into your circle of family and friends do NOT mean it's a gift grab.

The term 'gift grab' seems to be thrown around quite a bit lately.  It's losing its meaning. I certainly wouldn't describe what the OP is doing as a gift grab.

Then I guess we disagree.  If I were invited to a meet the baby party, it would never occur to me to not take a gift.

The difference is intent. By your argument, any social occasion can be seen as a gift grab.

Not hardly. 

And I never said it was her intent.  I am voicing my opinion on the idea of a Meet the baby party.

Who not have a BBQ and call it a BBQ?  People know the baby has arrived?  It is safe to assme they will meet the baby at a BBQ hosted by the parents.

Isn't intent the whole point of the label "gift grab?"  I can throw a birthday party, or I can throw a birthday party where I ask guests to bring food, and chairs, and gifts.  The first one is a party.  The second one is a gift grab.  You can have "gift grab" any type of party. 

In my area/group, weddings and wedding showers, baby showers, graduations, and children's birthday parties are gift giving occasions.  That doesn't make any of them "grabs."  When the host starts trying to get the guests to throw the party they become grabs.  Other types of parties, such as adult birthday parties, retirement parties, etc are not necessarily gift giving occasions.  Some people bring gifts, sure, but it's not expected for any reason.  These types of parties become "grabs" when the GOH sets up a registry or otherwise starts hinting at what types of gifts that they want.

[mbbored]

No matter what you want it to be it, it is a gift grab.

I disagree.  Just because you'd like to celebrate your child and have them welcomed into your circle of family and friends do NOT mean it's a gift grab.

The term 'gift grab' seems to be thrown around quite a bit lately.  It's losing its meaning. I certainly wouldn't describe what the OP is doing as a gift grab.

Then I guess we disagree.  If I were invited to a meet the baby party, it would never occur to me to not take a gift.

The difference is intent. By your argument, any social occasion can be seen as a gift grab.

Not hardly. 

And I never said it was her intent.  I am voicing my opinion on the idea of a Meet the baby party.

Who not have a BBQ and call it a BBQ?  People know the baby has arrived?  It is safe to assme they will meet the baby at a BBQ hosted by the parents.

Isn't intent the whole point of the label "gift grab?"  I can throw a birthday party, or I can throw a birthday party where I ask guests to bring food, and chairs, and gifts.  The first one is a party.  The second one is a gift grab.  You can have "gift grab" any type of party. 

In my area/group, weddings and wedding showers, baby showers, graduations, and children's birthday parties are gift giving occasions.  That doesn't make any of them "grabs."  When the host starts trying to get the guests to throw the party they become grabs.  Other types of parties, such as adult birthday parties, retirement parties, etc are not necessarily gift giving occasions.  Some people bring gifts, sure, but it's not expected for any reason.  These types of parties become "grabs" when the GOH sets up a registry or otherwise starts hinting at what types of gifts that they want.

POD. Mom21Son, do you consider weddings and children's birthday parties to be gift grabs as well? In our culture, people throw parties to celebrate special events in their lives, like getting married or having a child. It would be a gift grab if she put a registry on the invitation or made it a potluck. If you don't want to bring a gift to a meet the baby party, don't bring a gift or don't go.

[LadyR]

I can't speak for the OP, but we're having a meet the baby, because last time we were inundated with requests to come meet the baby and overwhelmed by visits and we decided it would be easier to have one set day (hopefully a few weeks after the baby comes) where everyone can come at once, stay for a little while and we can get it over with.

[Katana_Geldar]

People sure get uptight about things. My family recently had a "meet the baby" get together. No gifts expected at all.

So having a opinion that was asked for and because it is different than most is being uptight?

I can't speak for Katana_Geldar, but I think that calling a "meet the baby" party a "gift grab" is uptight.

POD. It's about assuming people have ulterior motives for things, when sometimes it's just very simple.

[Deetee]

A gift grab is when the purpose of the party is to obtain gifts from people and to get gifts that are out of proportion to the occasion, the relationship, the offered hospitality or all three. It is when the person wants gifts more than the company of the people invited.

This is nothing like a gift grab as the stated purpose and the actual purpose is the same.

[Wordgeek]

So having a opinion that was asked for and because it is different than most is being uptight?

No, being snippy about said opinion and taking personal offense at a general remark is being, if not uptight, then certainly unpleasant.

If you're unable to be courteous, don't post.

[kudeebee]

Honestly, if I was invited to a "meet the baby" party, I would think I would need to take a gift as well.  I wouldn't consider it a gift grab, more like a shower.

[bloo]

Honestly, if I was invited to a "meet the baby" party, I would think I would need to take a gift as well.  I wouldn't consider it a gift grab, more like a shower.

Huh. I would form my opinion of whether a gift is expected under circumstances surrounding it.

Simply put (for me anyway):

Baby shower = gift
Come Meet the Baby = no gift

But, mitigating circumstances:

Did I attend the shower? No? Bring a small gift to Come Meet the Baby!

Or not. Maybe I'll just come with my best wishes.

It might depend on how I feel or how poor I am when I'm making the decision.

[LilacGirl1983]

Thanks for all the replies ladies. It certainly is not intended to be a gift giving occasion. We have not registered nor included registry information at all. We want it to be social and to come meet our newest little one. We wanted to give everyone a chance on day to kind of trickle in..it will be when the baby is couple weeks old. Would it be offensive to ask if they use hand sanitizer or wash before holding the baby? Not sure on the etiquette on that? Our family isn't very close so the meet the baby would give others a chance to meet him.

[Katana_Geldar]

No, it wouldn't be offensive. Just ask politely, that's all. We ouch dirty things a million times a day and should wash our hands more. Just have it handy.