We have a LOT of house guests, sometimes for months at a time. Believe me, I understand that it can be a lot of work and disruptive to one's schedule. And it is nice of you to offer to host.
But however nice of you (general you) it is, once you take on the role of host, you still have the duty of being hospitable. Yes, of course you set reasonable limits on what you can provide and how flexible you can or want to be. But you do need to do it nicely, without making your guests feel guilty. It is not so easy to be a houseguest, either, as I'm sure your own experience tells you. It's analogous to giving a big dinner party. It's a lot of work, and it's fine to choose not to do it. But if you do it, you do it graciously and with an open hand, not begrudgingly.
I think you were absolutely fine to ask him if he could stay to pet sit. I even think your train ticket offer was fine. But I don't think it's reasonable to get so offended by his ultimate refusal, no matter how lovely your home and city.
I also understand your feeling about the change of plans. But I don't see where he did anything so terribly wrong. He doesn't know your schedule. Maybe he thought he was helping you out, even. In any case, I do think that your response was rather harsh.
I agree that this visit sounds doomed. Whatever this guy does or says, he will be wrong. Like, the cutesiness -- I hate it, too, but if the OP weren't irritated, she wouldn't have reported it. Likewise the mismatch in phone/text preferences. That's just not a big deal. It feels like just a matter of adding to the list of grievances against this guy.
I'm not talking about huge guest misbehavior here. Of course it's different, and your response is different, if the guy threw parties or burned up your couch, or tried to insist that you take three days off to show him around (people who live in resort areas complain, perhaps "bragplain"
, about this a lot). The duties of hospitality do have limits. And of course guests need to be considerate and try not to disrupt things. But they aren't mind readers, and in any case there is bound to be some disruption. A gracious host tries very hard not to let guests feel bad about that. Think back to when you've been a guest and heard your host say, "Oh, don't worry, it's no trouble!" about something. But ... of course it was, at least a little.
Hosting houseguests isn't for everyone. It IS disruptive to your schedule, it IS work. That's just the way it is, even with the least demanding, most reasonable guest. You really have to be able to do it with a very generous spirit and a go with the flow attitude. It is FINE not to be comfortable with that and not want to do it! Just don't host. But it's not okay to offer to host and then make your guests feel uncomfortable and guilty. That's what my family calls "giving with one hand and taking back with the other."