Author Topic: Have you ever lied to your children?  (Read 10612 times)

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jpcher

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Have you ever lied to your children?
« on: May 29, 2013, 08:01:21 PM »
If so, what have you lied about?


Simple question.


Maybe leave out things like Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause because I think those are telling fairy tales and not really lying.

gramma dishes

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2013, 08:41:37 PM »
Well ... not exactly lying, but more like omitting details.

I do know that my children really loved my father (their Grandpa) and for the last several months of his life he was deteriorating rapidly both physically and mentally.  Very severe memory loss.  He didn't even know my mother anymore, or me or my brother or sister.

My kids all wanted to see him, but we just said that the medical facility he was in didn't allow children under the age of 12 to visit.  Actually this was "kinda' sorta'" true. 

But the real reason was that we didn't want our children's final memories of their beloved Grandpa to be that of him lying in a bed with siderails and not having a clue who they were.  We preferred them to remember the really fun Grandpa who loved them to death and was willing to play with them any way they wanted to play, from endlessly pitching a ball to  sitting down at a tiny table with itsy bitsy dishes for 'tea'.

*inviteseller

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2013, 08:53:51 PM »
Lie to my children??  Why I never...wait, ok, they are out of the room  ;D ;D

Honestly, I think parenting is filled with little white lies..drink your milk so you grow big and strong (3 glasses a day and I am a scrawny 5'3"), if you go out without a hat you'll catch pneumonia (never did wear that hat or catch pneumonia).  And I know with my 2, there have been some fibs (my almost 18 yr old is still nervous that if she touches the thermostat she could break the furnace) just to keep them from doing something minor (trying to turn the heat up to 75 degrees) when the real reason would go over their head because age wise the reason does not compute (the gas bill will be more than my pay!). 
And gramma, that is IMO the best way to handle it.  My 6 yr old DD lost her wonderful father 2 yrs ago and always wants to mail him letters.  I tell her to write them and leave them on her window sill and the angels will come get them for her (yes, I save them all).  I would rather her be comforted by a fib than sad from the truth.

*inviteseller

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2013, 09:09:52 PM »
whoops...just told one that has to do with the tooth fairy.  DD has a veryveryvery loose tooth and she said she hopes it comes out while brushing her teeth so the tooth fairy can come tonight.  I told her the tooth fairy's schedule is already set and she is already out and about so if it does fall out now, she can't come until tomorrow night.  Or, in short..mommy doesn't have any ones on her and I will get a $5 changed tomorrow  :D  Had to do this with older DD (had this long drawn out story how the tooth fairy works her schedule) because she lost a tooth at school and I didn't have any $1's on me that day !

SiotehCat

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2013, 09:15:29 PM »
No I don't think I ever have. I don't like lying.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2013, 09:34:00 PM »
I don't have kids, but I have told white lies to them in occasion.

Once when I was on teaching prac, there was a bank robbery at the nearby shopping centre and the robber got away. We had an announcement over the PA to bring the kids inside, lock the doors and keep them away from the windows. When the lockdown was over we were told by a teachers aide what happened, but we didn't share this with the children as we didn't want to excite them too much before the end of the day. So I just told them I didn't know what was going on.

But, some of the children came back from special reading group and they had been told what had happened and shared it with everyone else.

And it did excite e kids, got them fostered from cleaning up after a craft activity. I continually had to tell them not to stand around the door gossiping.

Moralia

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2013, 09:36:14 PM »
Well...when my daughter didn't want onions in her food when she was 4, I might've given her the idea that onions and certain other less- favored veggies would make her hair shinier.  Suddenly, they tasted great and she'd have seconds.

I'm not proud of that.

gramma dishes

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2013, 09:39:06 PM »
Well...when my daughter didn't want onions in her food when she was 4, I might've given her the idea that onions and certain other less- favored veggies would make her hair shinier.  Suddenly, they tasted great and she'd have seconds.

I'm not proud of that.

Sounds brilliant!  And how do you know for sure that onions and other less-favored veggies do NOT make her hair shinier?  >:D

CrochetFanatic

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2013, 10:09:39 PM »
I don't have kids, but can I tell one? 

My three-year-old cousin's pet fish died, and my uncle replaced it with one that looks just like it before she realized.  I'm sort of wondering how she'll react if she finds out later.  I know many kids would be fine, but I'd be hurt and wondering what else they hadn't been honest with me about.  :-\

*inviteseller

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2013, 10:26:23 PM »
No I don't think I ever have. I don't like lying.

I don't like lying either, but I think the little things like angelic mailmen and onions=shiny hair are harmless because one is comforting to a hurting little girl and the other one is one the kid will laugh about when they are older over the silliness of it .  And I entertained thoughts of replacing a hamster but the one we had had very interesting markings (had to get the pretty one!) and I knew I couldn't pull it off.

sammycat

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2013, 10:27:18 PM »
But the real reason was that we didn't want our children's final memories of their beloved Grandpa to be that of him lying in a bed with siderails and not having a clue who they were.  We preferred them to remember the really fun Grandpa who loved them to death and was willing to play with them any way they wanted to play, from endlessly pitching a ball to  sitting down at a tiny table with itsy bitsy dishes for 'tea'.

IMO, this was a wise move.

As an adult, I had a much beloved aunt who ended up in hospice care. For a number of reasons, there was a 6 week gap where I didn't see her until the day before she died. In that time, she had gone from looking like her normal robust self (at home) to a person I literally didn't recognise (I told the nurse she'd given me the wrong room number she was that unrecognisable). This meant my last memory of her is not a pleasant one.

I had a similar experience with my father in law, however, my children did see him the night before he died. They were quite young, so  I hope they don't remember him as he was in their final visit.  :-[

mime

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2013, 10:35:27 PM »
I have not yet been asked where babies come from, but I've been asked how they get out of my tummy. I wasn't especially upfront about that: I said 'the doctor takes them out'. When asked 'how?', I said, 'well I couldn't really see what was going on when he did it...'

There will be a time for a more forthcoming answer, but that instance wasn't it.


SiotehCat

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2013, 10:39:24 PM »
No I don't think I ever have. I don't like lying.

I don't like lying either, but I think the little things like angelic mailmen and onions=shiny hair are harmless because one is comforting to a hurting little girl and the other one is one the kid will laugh about when they are older over the silliness of it .  And I entertained thoughts of replacing a hamster but the one we had had very interesting markings (had to get the pretty one!) and I knew I couldn't pull it off.

I never said that they harmed anyone. I still don't agree with it.

I want my DS to always be honest with me. How can I expect that if I am not always honest with him?

Bluenomi

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2013, 10:44:14 PM »
I have a 3 year old, I lie all the time!

Yes dear, that outfit looks wonderful.

No you can't go outside because it's too clod (when really it's because I'm doing something else)

You have to wear your singlet because it will help your cold get better

You're so lucky to be getting 2 babies! (Well that might not be lying but I suspect a time will come when she doesn't think it's great to have twin siblings)

cicero

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2013, 10:44:40 PM »
I only lied about the real reason I got divorced. Because there were * other* reasoins that Ds was aware of, and I don't think that the nitty gritty intimate details are his business. Otherwise I tell the truth, and always have. When he was younger, have given an age-appropriate response to the questions" how does the baby get in the tummy" but I never told the OK' stork story

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