Author Topic: Have you ever lied to your children?  (Read 13430 times)

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Black Delphinium

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #150 on: June 07, 2013, 06:48:43 PM »
I don't have kids, but can I tell one? 

My three-year-old cousin's pet fish died, and my uncle replaced it with one that looks just like it before she realized.  I'm sort of wondering how she'll react if she finds out later.  I know many kids would be fine, but I'd be hurt and wondering what else they hadn't been honest with me about.  :-\


Really? When you were 3??? I think a lie about a fish dying when you were 3 isn't really grounds for believing that the rest of your childhood was possibly based on lies.
Some of us were very serious and honest children. I know I would have been very upset if I'd found out my parents had lied to me.
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

gramma dishes

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #151 on: June 07, 2013, 08:58:25 PM »
When our kids pets died, yes even the goldfish and a gerbil and three hamsters, we always buried them in a nice place in our yard after a very solemn funeral.

Someone once asked me why we didn't just flush the fish down the toilet?  I said that because someday probably I would die and I didn't want them to think that would be a loving and appropriate disposition of ME.   :(

kherbert05

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #152 on: June 08, 2013, 07:31:36 AM »
My parents taught my sister and I about finances.
1. They opened passbook accounts for us soon after we were born. They put aside X amount each month. Once we were 5 or 6, we would sit down with them once a month and balance our accounts.

2. About the same age we started to be informed of our budget for clothes each school year. We had Y to spend.  We were taught to look at the quality of the clothes not just the prices. By upper elementary we were allowed to go to shops alone, while a parent was in the mall and pick out things we liked. Then take our parents back for approval. Junior high we would be dropped off. We would go to the shops put things on hold. Then when a parent returned we would go back to the shop and parent would approve and buy the clothes. By HS we would be given the credit card and go buy our own stuff with the budget we were given.

3. Vacations - I remember Dad bringing different itineraries home for trips "back home to PEI". We were taught to weigh various factors.
- more direct flights = less chances for luggage to walk off. (Still Dad's bags always traveled further than we did. Once they went to PEI, were sent back to Houston and delivered to Dad's work, sent back to PEI then traveled back to Houston with us.

- lay overs was there enough time to make next flight especially when going through customs.

-Time of day

So we were taught a higher priced trip might be a better value if we actually got to PEI without having an unexpected overnight lay over in Chicago or NYC.

4 Vacations Texas - We would rent beach houses in Surfside and Galveston again factors were weighed
-distance to beach
- safety for us kids to run around including getting to local shops/ice cream places
- quality of the house
- not paying for extras we wouldn't use (Never rented a house with a TV for example) Drifted to sleep listening to surf and Astro games on the radio.

5. From elementary school parents discussed with us how they were saving/investing for university for us and their retirement.


Slightly different take. Older Niece's mom would constantly tell her she couldn't have X because Sis wouldn't let BIL pay for X. Sis convinced BIL to take a page out of our parents' book. They started sitting ON down and showing how they were saving for University for her. They even showed her cancelled checks for Y amount that had in the Memo - To pay for ON, field trip. They never told her they had proof her mom had taken that money to gamble ON figure that out on her own. By upper elementary she would tell teachers - my Dad will pay for field trip, but he needs the address of the school to send the check. If he gives it to Mom, she won't give it to you. What was really sad is her health often suffered because her mom would tell her your Dad won't get you health insurance.
Point 1 - he had lost his job
Point 2 - sis moved heaven and earth to get ON on insurance through her job. (BIL and their two kids were easy there was some legal problem with getting her stepdaugher on the insurance - I think because Mom wouldn't sign the documents or because ON lived with her mom)
Point 3- ON's Mom was/is a freaking Texas Public School Teacher. The state has done a lot of bad things to us and Texas kids the last few years but EVERY teacher and their dependents have access to medical insurance.

ON recently told me Mom used to run Sis and BIL down all the time. They never something bad about her, but they were able to show me she was lying. If I listened to Mom I would hate Dad and (Sis's name).
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Curious Cat

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #153 on: June 08, 2013, 08:01:42 AM »
Kherbert, did you post in the wrong thread? I'm confused!

NyaChan

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #154 on: June 08, 2013, 01:51:48 PM »
Makes sense to me  :D 

1 story on how to handle finances with kids in a more honest fashion and 1 on a mother lying to the child vs. her dad/stepmom being open.

MrsVandy

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #155 on: June 08, 2013, 02:23:35 PM »
When I was young I asked my mom how a lady gets pregnant, she told me that if you stopped taking a special pill that's how you get pregnant. Well she didn't really lie on that one!

I was also threatened with being taken to the 'bad girl house' which was an abandoned shopping centre.

I once lied to a child I babysat. I told him you only grow in your sleep, and that I didn't sleep enough when I was little and that's why I'm so short. He went to sleep right at bed time with out a fight after that, his parents thought it was the best idea ever!




lowspark

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #156 on: June 10, 2013, 08:28:26 AM »
I don't have kids, but can I tell one? 

My three-year-old cousin's pet fish died, and my uncle replaced it with one that looks just like it before she realized.  I'm sort of wondering how she'll react if she finds out later.  I know many kids would be fine, but I'd be hurt and wondering what else they hadn't been honest with me about.  :-\


Really? When you were 3??? I think a lie about a fish dying when you were 3 isn't really grounds for believing that the rest of your childhood was possibly based on lies.

You'd be surprised at how astute some three year olds are and how carefully they listen to your specific words and how quickly they can repeat them back to you if they think they've been wronged. It's a mistake to underestimate a child based on their age.

Regarding the red line in the original quote, this is exactly why I never lied to my kids. Even a small, seemingly innocuous lie leaves a little seed of doubt in the child's mind. In addition to which, the philosophy of "it's ok to lie about some things" just encourages the child to do the same. Where they draw the line between what is ok to lie about and what isn't can be a crucial factor in the character of the child. The only really good place to draw the line is at zero because that leaves no room for interpretation.

Punky B.

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #157 on: June 10, 2013, 02:50:08 PM »
When I was very young I had a firebelly newt- I think they were a fad pet of the day and they really shouldn't have been living in fishbowls.  I had it for a while, and one day I came up and it was dead.  I just kind of shrugged it off and went and told mom.

Later she told me she had replaced the dang thing 3 times and she was glad I had found it the last time so she wouldn't have to do it again, she felt terrible that they kept dying.  I was old enough to find it funny, poor Mom and poor newts!  She said she would have fessed up if I had asked, but I didn't.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #158 on: June 10, 2013, 02:54:28 PM »
I guess he didn't get better.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

lowspark

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #159 on: June 10, 2013, 03:32:25 PM »

ladyknight1

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #160 on: June 10, 2013, 07:16:19 PM »
She's a witch!

That's terrible newts.


Piratelvr1121

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Re: Have you ever lied to your children?
« Reply #161 on: June 10, 2013, 08:02:29 PM »
She's a witch!

That's terrible newts.

*snicker* It's a good day when I can get in a Monty Python reference! :) :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata