Author Topic: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift  (Read 2587 times)

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peaches

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #15 on: June 07, 2013, 11:47:54 PM »
Neither requires a gift.

Depending on the relationship, we either send a gift or a card. Usually it's a gift, because announcements come from close friends or relatives.

Sometimes no announcement is sent, but we give a gift because of the milestone and the relationship.


Corrina

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #16 on: June 07, 2013, 11:49:28 PM »
Nope, not for just an announcement. Now if they send me an invitation, that's an entirely different matter.

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*inviteseller

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #17 on: June 08, 2013, 12:43:11 AM »
I loathe wedding announcements.  For all the years I worked in the social stationery world, we only had one bride do them, and that was because they were doing a quick wedding before a deployment.  If I am not close enough to get an invite for your wedding, I am not close enough to get an announcement of your intent to get me to send you a gift. 
As for graduation announcements, I understand because there usually is limited seating and you can't invite all you would want, so you send out the announcements.  It slides into rude territory when they go out to every person who ever crossed junior's path.  They should be limited, IMO, to the closest friends and relatives.  One year, after I had split from my husband, 7 of his relatives graduated.  I got a whole lot of announcements, which was nice except for the fact 5 of them I wouldn't be able to pick out of a line up!  At least the other 2 were gracious enough to send me invitations to their parties also and send prompt thank you's for the checks. 

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #18 on: June 08, 2013, 03:20:02 PM »
It will never be the rule that invitations and announcements require a gift, for the simple reason that the gimmee pigs would never have to work again.  They could support themselves on a steady stream of announcements that include a suggestion that cash is the preferred gift. 
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PastryGoddess

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2013, 10:45:30 PM »
I loathe wedding announcements.  For all the years I worked in the social stationery world, we only had one bride do them, and that was because they were doing a quick wedding before a deployment.  If I am not close enough to get an invite for your wedding, I am not close enough to get an announcement of your intent to get me to send you a gift. 
As for graduation announcements, I understand because there usually is limited seating and you can't invite all you would want, so you send out the announcements.  It slides into rude territory when they go out to every person who ever crossed junior's path.  They should be limited, IMO, to the closest friends and relatives.  One year, after I had split from my husband, 7 of his relatives graduated.  I got a whole lot of announcements, which was nice except for the fact 5 of them I wouldn't be able to pick out of a line up!  At least the other 2 were gracious enough to send me invitations to their parties also and send prompt thank you's for the checks. 

I think the point people are making is that announcements are different than invitations.  If YOU decide to send a gift after receiving an announcement, that is on you.  But I think that announcements are just that *special thing happened and we thought you should know*, not *special thing happened GIFTSGIFTSRAWRMONEYMONEYMORE!* 

Most of the wedding and graduation announcements I've seen have been used as a way to update people.  Wedding announcements will let you know if the bride has decided to keep or change her name.  They will also give an updated address or contact info as well.  Graduation announcements will have the graduates college or after high school plans.

ladyknight1

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2013, 12:16:04 AM »
I agree that announcements do not require a gift. However, I do send a card with my congratulations.

I love to get wedding, graduation, and birth announcements because my family is scattered around the globe. It is infeasible for my family to travel for each event. I also have many older relatives that do not use electronic communication, and get all of their family news through the mail or telephone.

TootsNYC

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2013, 12:22:28 AM »
Every etiquette book says that gifts are not required when one receives a wedding announcement. I know--I've read them all, specifically looking at that question.

So if someone sends one, they've probably read that same section of the etiquette book.

In fact, they may be sending an announcement precisely because they do NOT want to obligate you for a gift, which is what wedding invitation sort of does (if it's *properly* and *appropriately* send).

Ditto a graduation or birth announcement.


violinp

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #22 on: June 09, 2013, 01:52:33 AM »
Every etiquette book says that gifts are not required when one receives a wedding announcement. I know--I've read them all, specifically looking at that question.

So if someone sends one, they've probably read that same section of the etiquette book.

In fact, they may be sending an announcement precisely because they do NOT want to obligate you for a gift, which is what wedding invitation sort of does (if it's *properly* and *appropriately* send).

Ditto a graduation or birth announcement.

Exactly. It's a social nicety to let people know, "Hey, this awesome thing happened in my life! Isn't that great?" and is not the grabby ploy of a gimme - pig unless used that way by a greedy person.
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ettiquit

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #23 on: June 09, 2013, 08:59:36 AM »
I'm glad announcements don't require a gift.  A few years ago we got a graduation announcement for one of DH's nephew who we've never met from cousins I'd never met and that DH hadn't seen or talked to in at least 10 years.  I definitely interpreted that one as an "FYI", and that's it.

TootsNYC

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #24 on: June 09, 2013, 10:10:12 AM »
Every etiquette book says that gifts are not required when one receives a wedding announcement. I know--I've read them all, specifically looking at that question.

So if someone sends one, they've probably read that same section of the etiquette book.

In fact, they may be sending an announcement precisely because they do NOT want to obligate you for a gift, which is what wedding invitation sort of does (if it's *properly* and *appropriately* send).

Ditto a graduation or birth announcement.

Exactly. It's a social nicety to let people know, "Hey, this awesome thing happened in my life! Isn't that great?" and is not the grabby ploy of a gimme - pig unless used that way by a greedy person.

Some people may see it as a way to honor people at a slightly lesser level. "You're important enough to hear my big news directly from me instead of from the gossip mill."

I do think that Etiquette would say you should send your congratulations when you receive an announcement.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #25 on: June 09, 2013, 11:58:54 AM »
For a wedding announcement, personally, I would do nothing.  If I am not that close to whomever to be invited to the wedding, they will not receive a gift or a card from me.  More than likely, I hardly know the couple at all.   If it was someone I knew well and knew why I might not be invited to said wedding, I might get them a card.

For a graduation announcement, I would probably send a small, cash gift.  There are so many costs going into a high school graduates senior year to begin with, I can understand not being invited to a party, etc.  Anyhoo, most times, you only see the graduate for a few minutes as they are more than likely spending time with all their friends at said party.  So, I don't feel the need to be invited to a graduation party, per se, unless I know the graduate super well or family of graduate. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Does a Wedding or Graduation Annoucement "require" a gift
« Reply #26 on: June 09, 2013, 01:41:46 PM »
I would imagine it depends on the community culture, but I live in Florida and a lot of people have beach weddings with only the HC, witnesses, and an officiant. They might have a party later, but if they are going to take the time and expense of sending announcements, I send a card.

Especially since I am unlikely to travel for a wedding unless the person is very close to us.