Author Topic: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative  (Read 17234 times)

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gramma dishes

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #105 on: June 14, 2013, 03:44:24 PM »
...  I found out today my former SIL (bro's recently divorced from wife) was invited to the shower...she was the one my nephew was physically intimidating.

 :o  The involuntary gasp that this sentence elicited must surely have been heard round the world!!  Sorry if I sucked all the oxygen out of your air! 

*inviteseller

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #106 on: June 14, 2013, 03:56:32 PM »
I gasped too !  I asked if she went and she gave me the 'are you stupid' look.  He was bragging a year ago about punching her in the face, then invites her to the shower (and her and bro were split up, cordially, by then).  The grabbiness...it boggles!

LeveeWoman

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #107 on: June 14, 2013, 05:04:57 PM »
This is psychotic!

*inviteseller

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #108 on: June 15, 2013, 01:06:05 AM »
Welcome to my family Levee!   :P

LeveeWoman

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #109 on: June 15, 2013, 12:51:09 PM »
I'd be tempted to move to either a hut on the banks of the Amazon or a cabin on the Aleutian Islands, and leave no forwarding address.

chibichan

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #110 on: June 15, 2013, 09:38:56 PM »
I have to say , after reading your story , I got down on my knees and kissed the ground in gratitude for my own family .

And while I was there , I asked All Gods Great and Small to grant you some peace and serenity ( SERENITY NOW !  ;D ).

Hugs to you and your family , especially your dad .


 
The key to avoiding trouble is to learn to recognize it from a distance.

*inviteseller

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #111 on: June 15, 2013, 10:19:05 PM »
TBH, I would not know what to do without chaos!  Actually, it has just been a crazy last 2 years with one thing after the other, but there has also been so much good and I do choose to dwell on that.  As for my dad, thanks for the hugs..he is home with hospice and he and I got into an argument tonight (WTG to me for letting something that has been simmer blow up at the worst time) but we hashed it out (I hope!).  We all accept what is coming and are now just waiting.  As a good friend told me recently...I make her life look reeeeeal good, so I feel as if I have done some good !  ;D ;D

lakey

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #112 on: June 15, 2013, 10:47:52 PM »
"OK, I warned you...   Get a glass of wine and a snack cause it is long...
He is a convicted felon who only got out 2 years ago....."

I feel so bad for the relatives of this man and the relatives of theidiot woman he has impregnated. Not to mention the poor baby. People like this can be a continuous drain on the finances of their relatives. I have two in-laws who each have a sibling like this. They drain their parents dry with cries for money, then when the parents die, they start in on their siblings, who, having watched the baloney for years, don't fall for it.

My advice, keep as close an eye as you can on the welfare of the child, and if you find any indication of neglect report them to child protective services. Other than that, the man and his foolish woman are adults and can't be helped unless they decide to change their ways. I wouldn't be guilted into anything with him, because doing for him will only make you an enabler in his dysfunctional  behavior. If people aren't held accountable, they tend to not change.

*inviteseller

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #113 on: June 15, 2013, 11:19:18 PM »
I do feel for that child..but to keep an eye on her would mean having contact with them, and I just can't do that to my kids or myself.  The only time I will get involved is if they show up to my house again.   I would hope that one of the two members of the family that do still talk to him (yes, everyone has run far away) would do something if they see something.  I absolutely refuse to give them anything because it will be like my feral cats (who I like a whole lot more)..you feed them once and you never get rid of them. 

cicero

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #114 on: June 16, 2013, 11:43:49 AM »
I have to say , after reading your story , I got down on my knees and kissed the ground in gratitude for my own family .

And while I was there , I asked All Gods Great and Small to grant you some peace and serenity ( SERENITY NOW !  ;D ).

Hugs to you and your family , especially your dad .
oh man, i am right there beside you, blessing my family, warts and all.

Hugs Inviteseller - this is a nightmare!

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weeblewobble

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #115 on: June 16, 2013, 05:28:39 PM »
I think what bugs me about that story is your coworkers giving you the third degree and your boss "riding" you about the false information about your daughter. What business is it of theirs?  A whackaloon walks into your office and gives them false information, and somehow, they have the right to interrogate you?  All you should have had to say was, "I'm sorry, that relative is unstable and is in the habit of lying about my family.  The information he gave you about my DD is completely false.  I don't wish to discuss it." AND THEY SHOULD HAVE DROPPED IT.

You shouldn't have had to pull up your facebook account or be subjected to multiple rounds of questions. 

And secondly, even if it were true, and your daughter was posting pictures online, what business is it of theirs?  Private problems at home are none of your coworkers business. Shame on them for feeding into the drama-rama.

NyaChan

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #116 on: June 16, 2013, 06:56:09 PM »
I think what bugs me about that story is your coworkers giving you the third degree and your boss "riding" you about the false information about your daughter. What business is it of theirs?  A whackaloon walks into your office and gives them false information, and somehow, they have the right to interrogate you?  All you should have had to say was, "I'm sorry, that relative is unstable and is in the habit of lying about my family.  The information he gave you about my DD is completely false.  I don't wish to discuss it." AND THEY SHOULD HAVE DROPPED IT.

You shouldn't have had to pull up your facebook account or be subjected to multiple rounds of questions. 

And secondly, even if it were true, and your daughter was posting pictures online, what business is it of theirs?  Private problems at home are none of your coworkers business. Shame on them for feeding into the drama-rama.

That bugged me too - even if it were all true, how is it anything to do with them?

*inviteseller

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Re: Being pressured to celebrate with a cut off relative
« Reply #117 on: June 17, 2013, 01:24:25 AM »
With my work, I had been there 13 years and it is a small family owned place and there were only 5 of us working there. We were entangled in each others lives more than most co workers...we held each others hands through family illnesses and deaths, they celebrated the birth of my younger DD and watched older dd grow up (she was 4 when I started) and we busted our butts keeping the place alive (other employees were there longer or almost as long as myself).  Mr Cut off would come in and chat and we all kind of took him under our wings when he needed mentoring but all though I saw the way he was starting to act, they were unsure, as he was convincing with his tales.  My boss and I were starting to really butt heads when he did what he did and she had been critical of my older DD's behaviors (due to mental illness) and because of what he had said (although it wasn't something she had ever had done) she was skeptical of who was telling the truth due to my own DD's erratic behaviors.  I was able to prove it was wrong quickly, but yes, it hurt that she believed him, but actually, I could almost understand why she was iffy on right/wrong.  It wasn't too long after I found my spine, gave her an ultimatum and followed up on my end, but I still talk to another woman there and she says Boss lady asks how the kids are and seems happy with DD's progress.