s/o it's only a couple dollars/is this weird?

[TootsNYC]

When I owe other people, I try three times to give them the money back. If it's more than $5, I will tell them that they're making me uncomfortable, and I will inside on repaying it.

When they owe me, I don't worry about anything under $1.50 or so. That's arbitrary, of course, and may change if I feel they're acting as if they're entitled to my money.

Speaking of the quarter for the phone call.

When I was in college, our only phones were the payphone down the hall. And at the time, you had to put in a quarter to get a dial tone. I was once so broke that I didn't even have the quarter to activate the phone so I could call collect to my mom.

I asked one of my roommates (I didn't really "click" with any of them--they didn't like me much, I wasn't their type) for a quarter so I could call home (collect) and ask for money.

When I came back in the door, it hadn't even closed behind me when her hand was out and she was asking for the quarter. Now, I had completely intended to return it to her--after all, I'd asked to borrow it! But it really put me off her. And I know that if she'd been that broke, I'd have probably been offering to lend her a small amount of money. (These were also the roommates that had left me 1/10th of the space in the closet in our 3-person room.)

[ladyknight1]

I get tea for my boss and myself frequently. Mainly, she carpools and only has a vehicle one week a month, and I take an actual lunch most days where she often works through lunch and eats a snack at her desk. I frequently buy her tea, but we usually even out over a month or so. We have been doing this for 7 years, so I am used to it.

What I have issues with is someone expecting to profit (more than $5) off the other people who are chipping in for lunch/coffee/whatever. I can usually sniff that out after one incident and no longer participate. For example, asking everyone to chip $5 each for pizza and soda, when the total collected is $40 and the food and drinks only cost $28. No change was offered back and it led to hard feelings.

[m2kbug]

Posted in wrong spot. 

[SoCalVal]

From the website:  http://www.sportpolo.com/spectators/default.htm

Polo is an outdoor sport, so dress according to the weather. You really can't be over or under dressed. Spectators at a polo match wear everything from jeans to high fashion.

If the polo match you're attending is a major tournament, charity benefit match or special event, you may want to dress up.

If you want to go divot stomping at halftime, and you should, it's a good idea to wear shoes for health reasons and a hat for sun protection. Other than that, be comfortable.

Wrong thread?

[m2kbug]

Wrong thread?

Yes, see above.  Perhaps you can just delete all this or maybe the mods will come around.   

[SoCalVal]

I learned at an early age to spot moochers.  When I was in 7th grade (no allowance and no income so any amount of money I had was quite dear), a classmate asked to borrow 50 cents for lunch (quite odd now that I think about it because her father made quite a bit of money while my parents did not).  I loaned it to her.  Before she paid that back, she asked to borrow another 50 cents for lunch.  I loaned it to her.  When I ran across her again, I asked her when she was going to pay me back the dollar she owed me; she said (I think she was lying), "I do?"  When she asked me if she could borrow 50 cents again, I said, "No," and she never asked me again.

I have a friend who twice had no cash on her when we went out to eat (and she knew in advance we were going out to eat).  Both times, she asked me to cover her, and she'd pay me back.  By the third time we were to go out to eat, she hadn't paid me back so I made sure to have exact change when we went out.  Sure enough, she said, "Oh, I forgot to get cash; I only have my debit card."  I said, "I have exact change so I can put down what I owe."  I noticed, after that, she managed to have cash when we went out.

[shhh its me]

  Because people have abused it , I am aware when people start to own me money. It more, how many times in a row where you a little short then how much.

[TootsNYC]

I'll also say that I don't sweat it very much, but that's because I have never, ever had someone take advantage of me.

Watch--next month someone will. Since I've said it.

[Isilleke]

I only have a 50€/month allowance since I quit my student job (then I had that 50 + 80€/week). This means that I have a very limited budget and thus I'm quite diligent about owing money and I honestly don't like to lend to people.

I have lent my sister some money in the past year - in total about €200 - and she never pays me back. I won't ask for it seeing I still live at home and she has two small children and all that, but it does rub me the wrong way. So now I'm either going to write it all down or I'll have to find some way to not lend her any more money. It does get you a bit resentful, even when you know it's not because of bad will or anything like that.

I'm also one who will always give people back what I owe. I remember I asked someone if I could borrow €1 at a camp and the following year at the same camp I gave it back to her. She was pleasantly surprised by that.

I think that, when you do little stuff like that, it might not seem much, but people will trust you a lot more.

[miranova]

I don't really "loan" anyone money.  If I'm giving someone a quarter because they are a quarter short to get a soda, I'm GIVING them the quarter.  Even if they use the word borrow, I don't consider it a loan but a gift.  I probably even say that, or something like it, like "here, you can just keep it!"

For larger amounts of money, same thing but the conversation is different.  If someone I love is really in need, and asks to borrow money (very rare but it has happened), I GIVE them what I can afford.  I do not LOAN money that I need back into order to pay my own bills.  So the amount I give might be less than what they need but it is what I can actually afford to give without needing it back, so that's what I'm willing to do and I really like not having to worry about when people can pay me back or start worrying about my own bills because they haven't paid me back etc.

Now business transactions are different....we are very friendly with some of the people we rent houses to but if they owed us rent, we would not hesitate to collect, nor would we hesitate to evict if necessary.  If they underpaid us by even $5, we would note it and ask for it to be added to their next payment.  Business and personal are completely different.

[JeanFromBNA]

I never loan money, whether it's a couple of dollars or something more.  If I give money, it's a gift.  Therefore, we only give gifts if the amount given does not matter, or if we feel the situation warrants it. 

OTOH, I used to have an employee who interpreted every time I offered to bring back takeout from Subway or wherever as a free lunch.  I stopped offering. 

[JeanFromBNA]

Speaking of the quarter for the phone call.

When I was in college, our only phones were the payphone down the hall. And at the time, you had to put in a quarter to get a dial tone. I was once so broke that I didn't even have the quarter to activate the phone so I could call collect to my mom.

I asked one of my roommates (I didn't really "click" with any of them--they didn't like me much, I wasn't their type) for a quarter so I could call home (collect) and ask for money.

When I came back in the door, it hadn't even closed behind me when her hand was out and she was asking for the quarter. Now, I had completely intended to return it to her--after all, I'd asked to borrow it! But it really put me off her. And I know that if she'd been that broke, I'd have probably been offering to lend her a small amount of money. (These were also the roommates that had left me 1/10th of the space in the closet in our 3-person room.)

Wow!  She sounds like a real bargain!

[WillyNilly]

I never loan money, whether it's a couple of dollars or something more.  If I give money, it's a gift.  Therefore, we only give gifts if the amount given does not matter, or if we feel the situation warrants it. 

OTOH, I used to have an employee who interpreted every time I offered to bring back takeout from Subway or wherever as a free lunch.  I stopped offering.

At my last job I always refused my bosses coffee offers because I was never clear if he was offering to buy me Starbucks or just going himself and offering to pick something up for me. He would say something like "I'm heading to Starbucks, want any thing?" If a co-worker said that to me, I'd assume I should hand over cash, but when a boss offers its absolutely unclear.  I think when its a boss/employee situation especially the boss needs to be very clear on exactly what they are offering.
(I always said "no" because I usually did not have any cash on me, although 100% of the time I would have loved to have gotten a coffee.)

[daen]

I never loan money, whether it's a couple of dollars or something more.  If I give money, it's a gift.  Therefore, we only give gifts if the amount given does not matter, or if we feel the situation warrants it. 

OTOH, I used to have an employee who interpreted every time I offered to bring back takeout from Subway or wherever as a free lunch.  I stopped offering.

At my last job I always refused my bosses coffee offers because I was never clear if he was offering to buy me Starbucks or just going himself and offering to pick something up for me. He would say something like "I'm heading to Starbucks, want any thing?" If a co-worker said that to me, I'd assume I should hand over cash, but when a boss offers its absolutely unclear.  I think when its a boss/employee situation especially the boss needs to be very clear on exactly what they are offering.
(I always said "no" because I usually did not have any cash on me, although 100% of the time I would have loved to have gotten a coffee.)

If you can manage a completely matter-of-fact tone of voice, "No, thanks, I don't have any cash on me today," it leaves things open for boss to take it at face value and move on... or offer to purchase, if so inclined.

[Margo]

Like a lot of PPs, for me it depends on the relationship I have with the person as well as the amount.

In general, if it is less than £1 then I will make an effort to pay it if I am the borrower, but I won't much  care if I'm not paid back, but I will notice if there is a pattern of someone never offering, and it would definitely make me much less likely to lend them anything larger.

(and if I offer to pay back, or to give someone money if they've paid for a coffee from the machine at that kind of price, and they say no, I will accept that at face value and move on) If they do pay back, it's a nice surprise and yes, it does make me feel that person is more trustworthy.


The only exception would be if the borrower is someone who makes a habit of 'forgetting' to return money.

For larger sums, I would expect to be paid back / given my change unless its a situation with close family / friends where I feel it will all work out over all,  but in any situation where someone hands money to me to buy something on their behalf I would always offer them their change back

It does irritate me if someone says they will pay you back and then doesn't - I recall not long after I left university, a woman I'd shared a house with came round to see me. She stayed longer than she'd intended and missed the bus she'd planned to catch, so she asked me if I would lend her £5 for a taxi. At the time, this was not 'I can't pay my bills' money for me but it was a noticable amount in my budget. She told me she would post it back to me by the end of the week.

She didn't.
I bumped into her about a month later, and she immediately said "Oh, I haven't forgotten that £5, I'll post it to you"
6 months later, she sent me a Christmas card and wrote in the card "I haven't forgotten that £5 I owe you" (but didn't enclose it in the card)
By that time I'd written it off and just made a mental note never to lend her anything again, but the card really annoyed me. If you can go to the trouble of writing, and posting a card, and setting out that you owe me money, you can put the money in the darn card. If you don't, I'm going to assume that you are making a conscious choice not to pay your debt, whereas otherwise I'd assume you'd forgotten.
(Interestingly, I subsequently found out that the same woman was dishonest in other ways, too. Nothing criminal, just in how she treated other people)