Author Topic: Where Did The Scar Come From?  (Read 9229 times)

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The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2013, 10:04:11 AM »
"Where'd you get that scar?"

"Pirates."

"No seriously - where'd you get it?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, thanks."


Honestly, I think humor is best here, because if you're female and you go straight to "I don't want to talk about it," there are people out there who will assume you'd welcome their input on how to get out of your abusive marriage/relationship  ::)  (Not that partner abuse is a laughing matter, of course, but some people seem to think their advice is the one thing that would help a complete stranger change her life around . . .)

LOL!!  I was going to suggest "Pirates", also.  It's the first thing that came to mind.  Possum's suggestions are great, also.   Humor is the best tactic, and if that doesn't work to shut them down, I think an icily polite glare and complete silence should be your next step.  Hope you're feeling better after your surgery.
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical

JeseC

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2013, 10:13:01 AM »
"Where'd you get that scar?"

"Pirates."

"No seriously - where'd you get it?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, thanks."


Honestly, I think humor is best here, because if you're female and you go straight to "I don't want to talk about it," there are people out there who will assume you'd welcome their input on how to get out of your abusive marriage/relationship  ::)  (Not that partner abuse is a laughing matter, of course, but some people seem to think their advice is the one thing that would help a complete stranger change her life around . . .)

Definitely on the humor!  If you dislike shutting it down, there's also the tactic of starting to spin an elaborate story, preferable complete with lots and lots of rabbit trails.  That depends on your ability to come up with the story, though, and willingness to do it!

"No seriously - where'd you get it?"

"Well it all started when this magic portal opened up in my living room and started pouring out salt water.  You'd think magic portals would be all glowy and swirly, but this one wasn't.  It just looked like a big old window.  Anyway, there was a little raft there and I hopped on.  Couldn't just leave this to pour water into my living room now, could I? It was a very nice little raft too.  Looked like it was made out of bamboo.  I didn't know you could do  that at the time, but I found a documentary later where someone did..."

cwm

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2013, 10:15:44 AM »
My sister had surgery to remove a mole from her neck, but it worked out. See, it was one of two moles spaced closely together, so any time someone asked her, she just told them she was having surgery to close the vampire bite. And it did look like a vampire bite before it was removed. Nobody pressed it after that.

I had to have a malignant wart removed from my forehead (and before that I spent pretty much a straight year with a band-aid over my forehead to cover the wart), and despite having a plastic surgeon do the surgery, there's still a visible scar. Not horribly visible, but for a while it was completely obvious, and every summer it shows up more because the scar doesn't tan with the rest of my face. But whenever I have people ask me about it, I just look up (like I'm trying to see what they're motioning, even though it's on my forehead) and tell them I can't see what they're talking about.

Honestly, I worked with a girl who had fairly major facial scarring on half of her face (think of the scar on the Joker's face from Batman, kind of), but I was never brave enough to ask her about it. It had happened to her when she was only three years old and she was perfectly fine discussing it, but after nearly two years of working together I still wasn't brave enough to ask. I mean, coming up to a stranger anyone and asking them about a scar? Who DOES that?

bopper

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2013, 10:25:25 AM »
"Pirates.  Don't want to talk about it."

camlan

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2013, 10:30:25 AM »
The scar will fade. It will take a while, but it will fade.

I have a scar on my lower lip/chin from an accident when I was a child. Mostly, I forget about it these days, but every so often someone will comment on it. There are two responses I give, depending on who is asking and how they  ask.

"Oh, that was a childhood accident."
"Think this is bad? You should see the other guy."
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Jones

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #20 on: June 04, 2013, 10:44:08 AM »
Out of all the prying strangers, one became exceedingly disgusted, you could see the look on her face change as she realized the scarring was real.

As she realised it was real? What the heck did she /think/ it was bodypainted decoration?

[/quote]
Heck if I know. She incredulously asked if the things on my neck were real and when I cheerfully confirmed her whole demeanor changed. Maybe she thought I was a kooky kid making a fashion statement, I dunno.

thedudeabides

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2013, 11:13:57 AM »
"Startled a sleeping ninja."

"Survived the zombie apocalypse."

"Helped film Shark Week."

"Fight with a polar bear."

cwm

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2013, 11:16:10 AM »
"Startled a sleeping ninja."

"Survived the zombie apocalypse."

"Helped film Shark Week."

"Fight with a polar bear."

You mean I missed it? Darn, I'd been preparing my survival techniques and escape scenarios for YEARS.  :-[  ;D

Daquiri40

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2013, 11:19:25 AM »
I had my thyroid removed and had a nice red scar for a year before it faded. 

I used the following:
-- the truth
-- Neck surgery
-- bar fight
-- I can't talk about it (said with eyes cast downward)

No one really cares.  Make something up or tell the truth.

thedudeabides

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2013, 11:20:00 AM »
"Startled a sleeping ninja."

"Survived the zombie apocalypse."

"Helped film Shark Week."

"Fight with a polar bear."

You mean I missed it? Darn, I'd been preparing my survival techniques and escape scenarios for YEARS.  :-[  ;D

Yep, sorry, just finished up last week. ;)

Arrynne

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2013, 11:25:08 AM »
My 2-year-old has several scars from various surgeries and track marks up his arms from a long stay in the NICU.  The most obvious one is a raised square scar on his forehead caused by one of the various C-pap/Bi-pap/Sy-pap machines he needed for breathing.   We call it his Harry Potter scar.  We joke that he was on the wrong end of a knife for the long incision scars on his back and abdomen.  The G-tube is his "second belly button".

Amara

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2013, 11:42:44 AM »
I like the idea of going with humor; at least it will make you smile. You might add this too: "Oh, do you like my new necklace? You can find anything on etsy!"

wyliefool

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2013, 12:08:51 PM »
"Oh, I'm fine now, thanks for asking."

acicularis

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #28 on: June 04, 2013, 12:29:19 PM »
People do not need to know something just because they want to know. Yes, I know they're "just curious" and probably "mean well." That's not the point. Why should their curiosity trump your feelings?

I think the only way to train people to stop asking questions like this is to not reward them. I love the humorous responses, but if that's not your style, I would say go with the briefest response possible. Just say "surgery." If they press you, look quizzical and ask "Does it matter?" or "Why do you want to know?" Or perhaps say "Don't worry about it," to their initial question, and follow up with "Why do you need to know?"


Minmom3

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Re: Where Did The Scar Come From?
« Reply #29 on: June 04, 2013, 12:30:32 PM »
I had a great aunt who had goiter surgery when she was younger.  She wore a necklace that sat over the scar nearly every day when she left the house.  It took weeks of her visiting us for me to see it one day, I'd had no idea it was there.  Granted, she was a bit of a Grand Dame, so it wasn't really surprising she wore a heavier necklace around her neck (not evening wear for the Opera, but a lot more than a thin chain with a pendant.)
Mother to children and fuzz butts....