A bit of a funny email recently, thought I’d get opinions on it. I’m putting this in ‘day’s work’ rather than wedding because the problem is about the co-workers, not the wedding. It could be any event.
I work for a large company, around 2000 employees. A friend from school, Candy, works here as well. She works in Finance, I work in Sales, so we don’t actually have anything to do with each other in a business capacity. Candy met one of my co-workers from Sales (someone I don’t work directly with, and didn’t know at the time) and they since started going out and are getting married. They also don’t have anything to do with each other within the business. There is no rule, written or unwritten, about inter office romances - there are many and they are accepted.
Candy has kept the relationship very quiet around the office. Her co-workers know she’s in a relationship, his first name, and now that she’s getting married. They do not know he works in another department of the company. A few people in my area have twigged the relationship and made comments about the groom ‘marrying up’ (the worst I know of is ‘she might come to her senses before the wedding’, basically people have a higher opinion of Candy than her fiancé. They both know this.) Some people know I know Candy and am invited to the wedding as a friend. No other co-workers are invited from either side.
Today I got an email from Candy:
‘I just wanted to ask that you please don’t know any photos of myself and [fiancé] to people in work! I don’t mind you showing a photo of me, but I really don’t want people to see me and [fiancé]. Maybe you could bluff and say you didn’t get any of us together, or you don’t have your camera with you, or whatever. And maybe avoid putting photos on facebook if you’re friend with people from work! Sorry to sound Bridezilla, I just don’t need the hassle!’
So is this a reasonable request? Is she reasonable to think she can continue to hide her relationship (and marriage!) from the entire company? Or should she just suck it up, take the slagging, and move on?