I have a friend, let's call her Suzy, who I enjoy hanging out with very much. She is probably one of the nicest people I've ever met and we have a great time together. Last fall she got back together with her ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately, this BF does not seem to be very good to her. I haven't met him because "he doesn't like hanging out with people he doesn't know". Just to set the stage, when they got back together she confided in me that she understands that she can't put demands on him, such as expecting him to respond quickly to her texts and choose her over his friends because he's "just not that kinda guy". Another gem about this guy is that he won't make plans in advance. Which is how this impacts me. (Besides that fact that it just hurts me to see this wonderful person allowing herself to be treated so poorly, but I digress...)
This means that when I try to make plans with her she "doesn't know" if she's free. I can understand (slightly) if the plans are several weeks in advance, but I just invited her to see a band with me on Friday. Suzy can't commit because she's waiting to see if her BF wants to go out Friday or Saturday. Then she asked what I'm doing on Saturday and said that she'll join me for that if she ends up seeing him on Friday. Um, ok, but I didn't invite her for Saturday. Now, I'm normally a "more the merrier" kinda person, but by her own admission, she doesn't click with this group I'm going with and, honestly, she doesn't even try.
So now, I feel like a 5 yr old and want to just dig my heals in and say "No, you don't get to put me in wait & see status just because your BF puts YOU in wait & see status."
Here's my question: Am I being petulant (and by extention just rude) or am I setting personal boundaries?