BG- Over a year and half ago while attending a 80's night at a bar I began a friendship with an older man (OM), 20 years my senior and I'm 35, who had a girlfriend at the time. Whenever we would both attend we would save seats for the other, watch drinks, etc. I classified him as a bar buddy, someone I saw only at the bar, did not have his phone number or he mine, and did not hang out with outside of the bar. At one point he and his girlfriend broke up, so it happened that we were both single at the same time. At this time we at become friends on Facebook, but still had not exchanged phone numbers. We used to trade dating
horror stories, and our friendship continued as usual until around last Valetine's day. About a week or so before the holiday I had brought a date to the 80's night. And then right before the holiday I had posted about a craving for chocolate cupcakes from a bakery in town I drive by but didn't have time to stop in that day. This is when all heck starts to break loose. OM posted up on my wall that he would have paid a person to go get the cupcakes for me and had them personally delivered to my office, which made me uncomfortable, so I told him so in a message. That elicited a response that basically let me know that he was interested in dating
me. I was honest with him in my reply that I was not interested in anything more than friendship with him. He seemed to accept that and we seemed to go back to our old friendship. Fast forward 5 months, and I am dating
a new guy and take him to 80's night. I introduce him to OM and everything seems fine. That is until I sign into Facebook the next day. My entire wall was filled with nothing but his multiple posts ranging from the, how I did him wrong, what a bad person I am, how his mother warned him to dump me and he was glad he took her advice, etc, etc, plus very long not nice private messages. Basically the whole time I was friends with him, he thought we were dating
The posting and messages were enough with that it set off red flags and made me question our friendship. End result was I unfriended him, and then when he created a secondary account with a new name to send me more private messages to tell me how bad of a person I was, that resulting in me not only blocking both his pages, but employing my first ever direct cut. End BG - virtual cookies if you could follow that.
Current day - I still attend 80's night, and so does OM. We have mutual friends in common, but I have acted like he does not exist. I do not speak to him, or about him to mutual friends. I did share the same table as him for a friend's birthday party recently, and since then he has tried to approach me to become friends again. He caught me off guard last time when I was outside smoking a cigarette, and checking my phone for messages. Had I realized he had approached me, I would have been more prepared for when he asked me if I wanted to bury the hatchet. Luckily I was saved by a phone call and he wandered back inside and I was able to avoid him.
My question is what is a good short response to him. I need to practice not JADEing, and need something to shut him down, so he will not continue to seek my friendship.