Author Topic: I did a cut direct, and now the person wants to make up Question pg 5  (Read 12757 times)

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Reader

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OP here with an update.

The reason I decided to send OM a response of leave me alone because the last conversation via facebook we had had me leaving the last message (a year ago) as that we would part as friends, it was his further actions after that caused me to do a cut direct.  Then we didn't speak for a year.  Then when we shared a table for B's birthday party it was after that he tried to reestablish contact.  So I sent that message off, and blocked him.  I did go to 80's night last Sunday, and OM was there.  He tried to pull I just want to bury the hatchet again, to which I replied I'm not interested, leave me alone.  And he did for the rest of the night.

I did explain to B what was going on, and that if OM was sitting with him at a table I would not be able to as I am not speaking to OM, and he said he understood and since he's known OM longer, he thinks Om has issues with dealing with people and social situations, so as others had thought it probably is a pattern for him. 

Then I log into facebook today to find a message from his other account (which is now on the blocked list) which got no response from me as I have said all I will say to OM, but shows that he hasn't changed. -  "Let us fast forward to 2013. I am not interested in dating or hanging with you. I am interested in having a pleasant time at the club. I am interested in hanging out and associating with my friends such as B and V. I have known them for several years. When you decided to become friends with them while I am also interacting with them, I had decided to make peace, so we could all tolerate each other. I thought that it was the right thing to do. Sitting at the same table together and being adversaries was not working out. I thought that I was taking a positive step by proposing a truce, but my efforts backfired. I am kind of hurt by all of this drama. I have recently talked to both B and V about this rift that you and I have. You have won the battle. I have decided to take a hiatus from Billy’s and not go there when there is entertainment that we both prefer. I am relinquishing my right to be there. I am giving up my friends. I am giving up my music. You won't have to worry about avoiding contact with me. I'll simply go away. You win!" 

All of this was in response to the message I sent him - Look, I do not want to talk to you or be friends with you. I can't stop you coming to the bar, and I don't intend to harass you in any way. But I do NOT want to have any sort of relationship with you. I have made this clear to you before. Leave me alone.  And then me telling him to leave me alone the next time I saw him. 

I suspect OM will stop coming for a bit to the bar, he lives an hour away from my city, so I won't have to worry about running into him again for awhile.  If he tries to create other accounts to message me they will be blocked with no response, and if he does show up again and tries to make peace he'll get broken record Reader  :), stuck on leave me alone if I can't walk away at the moment which will be my first response should OM do so.

cwm

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Well...congrats for winning?

I just don't understand people like this. From what it sounds like, you weren't trying to push him out of anything, but now his utterly bizarre behavior and not-quite-apology backfired, so he's leaving?

This guy has what my sister and I call a martyr complex. Everything that happens is because someone has something against them and they'll give up on all they ever loved and wanted because they're avoiding all the DRAMAH(!!!) don't you know, but wouldn't it be so nice if the world stopped picking on them.

gramma dishes

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...    I have decided to take a hiatus from Billy’s and not go there when there is entertainment that we both prefer. I am relinquishing my right to be there. I am giving up my friends. I am giving up my music. You won't have to worry about avoiding contact with me. I'll simply go away. You win!"  ...

Oh my.  Now he's pulling the "Woe is me" trick out of the hat. 

You are now supposed to go "Oh no!  I didn't mean to keep you away from your favorite place or your long time friends!  You shouldn't have to give up anything just because I don't want to have any contact with you.  I suppose I could at least behave civilly toward you when we are both around the others."

He's trying to guilt you for his unhappiness for the loss of "all he holds dear", and it's all your fault!!  Please don't buy this.  (I have absolute confidence that you have no intention of being even remotely impressed by his "sacrifices".)

I'mnotinsane

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...You have won the battle.

In his mind does this mean the war is still on?

Amara

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Just continue to ignore. I suspect it's that last flare-up before it extinguishes.

veronaz

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OP, I don't think this idiot is worth any more of your time and energy - even in the form of analysis, wondering what he's thinking, why he does (whatever), etc.   Just continue to ignore him and don't respond in any way.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2013, 09:26:30 AM by veronaz »

SoCalVal

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Couldn't you report him to FB as harassing you?



jedikaiti

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Certainly for having multiple accounts, that's a terms of service violation, I believe.

Whether or not they do anything is another matter.
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lorelai

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...    I have decided to take a hiatus from Billy’s and not go there when there is entertainment that we both prefer. I am relinquishing my right to be there. I am giving up my friends. I am giving up my music. You won't have to worry about avoiding contact with me. I'll simply go away. You win!"  ...

Oh my.  Now he's pulling the "Woe is me" trick out of the hat. 

You are now supposed to go "Oh no!  I didn't mean to keep you away from your favorite place or your long time friends!  You shouldn't have to give up anything just because I don't want to have any contact with you.  I suppose I could at least behave civilly toward you when we are both around the others."

He's trying to guilt you for his unhappiness for the loss of "all he holds dear", and it's all your fault!!  Please don't buy this.  (I have absolute confidence that you have no intention of being even remotely impressed by his "sacrifices".)

I agree, this is exactly what he's doing. Even his latest words to you are so manipulative! I am glad you've "won" though, and even if it's not what you asked for, I hope he stays far, far away from you. Good on you for being so strong.

Gyburc

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Major guilt-trip! And I particularly like the fact that he has 'talked' to his friends (who are also your friends, I take it) about your 'rift'.  >:(

I agree with the PPs, Reader - just keep ignoring him. You are quite right that he hasn't changed - and he is still trying to get you to continue some kind of friendship with him. This might be the end of it, but I suspect not... and I have absolutely no faith that he won't turn up at Billy's again.
 

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Twik

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...    I have decided to take a hiatus from Billy’s and not go there when there is entertainment that we both prefer. I am relinquishing my right to be there. I am giving up my friends. I am giving up my music. You won't have to worry about avoiding contact with me. I'll simply go away. You win!"  ...

Oh my.  Now he's pulling the "Woe is me" trick out of the hat. 

You are now supposed to go "Oh no!  I didn't mean to keep you away from your favorite place or your long time friends!  You shouldn't have to give up anything just because I don't want to have any contact with you.  I suppose I could at least behave civilly toward you when we are both around the others."

He's trying to guilt you for his unhappiness for the loss of "all he holds dear", and it's all your fault!!  Please don't buy this.  (I have absolute confidence that you have no intention of being even remotely impressed by his "sacrifices".)

Exactly. This melodrama is all about getting you to respond.
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TootsNYC

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Plus, I bet you he's back in 2 weeks. Because he needs his drama fix.

Reader

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So both of OM's accounts were blocked at the time of my update post.  Today I went to report his 2nd page as a multiple page and found his 2nd page unblocked!  >:(  Anyone know if he shuts his secondary page down, and then restarted it would it circumvent the blocking security features?

CaffeineKatie

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Re: I did a cut direct, and now the person wants to make up Question pg 5
« Reply #73 on: June 19, 2013, 03:44:28 PM »
I'm not a FB /computer whiz, but if you find your settings changed I am wondering if he has attached some kind of spyware/malware/Trojan to your account/computer through messages he has sent to you in the past?!?  If I were you, I'd make sure my computer was squeaky clean security-wise.

kckgirl

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Re: I did a cut direct, and now the person wants to make up Question pg 5
« Reply #74 on: June 19, 2013, 08:03:22 PM »
I only have one person blocked who has changed her name twice while she's been blocked. She remained blocked through her name changes. He may have dumped the second page and created a new second page with the same name.
Maryland