Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Who chooses the birthday cake flavor? #18, 75

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Lynn2000:
I think the birthday person gets to choose, but I could imagine some reasonable limits. Like if one of the four people is actually allergic to chocolate, maybe a second-favorite flavor (not involving chocolate) could be a compromise. Or, if someone is actually making the cake, there might be some limitations based on their cooking ability or budget. But if you get into too much negotiation, it stops being a nice, fun thing, you know?

Since Jackie's limitations were so specific, I don't think she should have offered "to get Adam a cake" and then asked what he wanted, except it couldn't be chocolate or pie, etc.. I think she should have offered "to get Adam a carrot cake" or something specific like that. Then if he really hated carrot cake, he could say, "Oh, thanks, but no, that's okay." If you start out with, "I want to get you a cake! What kind do you want?" and then put a lot of restrictions on that, which are based on the personal preferences of the purchaser, it kind of sours the offer, I think. The way the OP is phrased, it sounds like Jackie was making Adam's birthday cake all about what she wanted, and that's not in the spirit of the gift, I don't think.

Kaypeep:
I think it should be the GOH's choice, but GOH should be mindful of other guests sharing the cake if there could be an extreme issue (ie: GOH loves strawberry shortcake but his mom is allergic to strawberries and will be attending the bday cake sharing.)  In a case where there's a problem like that I'd go with cupcakes or some other alternate dessert option.

On a related note, this thread reminds me of a conversation with my SO recently.

Kaypeep:  Honey, what kind of cake do you want for your birthday?
SO:  Pie.
Kaypeep:  What kind of pie?
SO:  Pizza
 ::)

magicdomino:

--- Quote from: Lynn2000 on June 07, 2013, 04:12:48 PM ---I think the birthday person gets to choose, but I could imagine some reasonable limits. Like if one of the four people is actually allergic to chocolate, maybe a second-favorite flavor (not involving chocolate) could be a compromise. Or, if someone is actually making the cake, there might be some limitations based on their cooking ability or budget. But if you get into too much negotiation, it stops being a nice, fun thing, you know?


--- End quote ---

This.  If someone with a severe peanut allergy is attending, it would be better if Birthday Person skipped the peanut butter frosting.  Birthday Person should also keep in mind Cake Provider's skills and resources; if Cake Provider is an mediocre cook, Birthday Person should ask for a flavor available in a mix.  Other than that, Birthday Person chooses the cake.  I've made cakes that I don't like for people I do like.  Usually, there is something I can nibble on.

Cat-Fu:
Birthday person chooses. If other attendees don't like the cake, then they can choose not to eat it. I make german chocolate cake every now and then for my DH's birthday, my second least favorite cake. I just "eat"  a tiny slice on his birthday (meaning, shred the cake and eat the caramel frosting) and then make him eat the rest. :P

Sharnita:
I agree with "birthday person with some limits". Allergies, availablity and other issues might mean that birthday person doesn't get first choice.

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