Author Topic: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor? #18, 75  (Read 11602 times)

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CakeEater

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #45 on: June 12, 2013, 05:13:46 PM »
I think the birthday person should choose, but in this case, I don't think he should have chosen chocolate.

If there's only 4 or 5 people sharing the cake, I think it's nice if a flavour can be chosen that everyone will like to eat so they can all join in the celebration.

Birthday boy can go and buy himself his favourite cake any day of the year.

Why does that not extend to Jackie, though ?

It does, but they're all there to celebrate a birthday. If one out of 4/5? really doesn't like the cakea nd can't eat it,  it kind-of takes away from the festivities. Whereas if birthday boy can pick a flavour that he also likes, that everyone else will enjoy eating as well, then why would you not?

Just that, 'It's my birthday, and I'll have my favourite and all the rest of you can suck it up if you don't like it?' Seems ungracious to me.

I make big cakes for lots of people sometimes, and I'd find it a bit strange if the organisers/birthday boy/bride and groom chose their favourite flavour cake if it happened to be something that not everyone would like. They want their guests to enjoy the celebration - not have solely what they themselves would prefer. Then they can go and get their own key lime cake with ginger frosting at another time.

magicdomino

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #46 on: June 12, 2013, 05:23:45 PM »
I make big cakes for lots of people sometimes, and I'd find it a bit strange if the organisers/birthday boy/bride and groom chose their favourite flavour cake if it happened to be something that not everyone would like. They want their guests to enjoy the celebration - not have solely what they themselves would prefer. Then they can go and get their own key lime cake with ginger frosting at another time.

Is there a truly universally-liked flavor, though?  Just about any kind of cake that I can think of, I know someone who wouldn't eat it.  As a simple example, I've known a couple of people who don't like chocolate.  I also know someone who won't eat any kind of cake unless there is chocolate involved.  (She is watching her weight, so she has to really like the cake to make it worth the calories.)

When I make Halloween cakes for the office, I make both chocolate and non-chocolate cakes, one in the form of cupcakes.

hobish

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #47 on: June 12, 2013, 06:18:33 PM »
Honoree's choice, all the way. If he'd prefer a pie, that's fine. If he prefers no sweets, that's fine.

To insist that it must be a cake, and not even in the honoree's preferred flavor is nonsense and quite rude. How would she like it if he insisted that for her birthday they must have chocolate cake?

Turnabout is fair play?
“Happy Birthday, Jackie! I made you a cake! I know you like carrot cake, but since I wanted to enjoy it, too, it’s chocolate. Quick! Blow out the candles!”
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TootsNYC

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #48 on: June 12, 2013, 06:55:52 PM »
Honoree's choice, all the way. If he'd prefer a pie, that's fine. If he prefers no sweets, that's fine.

To insist that it must be a cake, and not even in the honoree's preferred flavor is nonsense and quite rude. How would she like it if he insisted that for her birthday they must have chocolate cake?

Turnabout is fair play?
“Happy Birthday, Jackie! I made you a cake! I know you like carrot cake, but since I wanted to enjoy it, too, it’s chocolate. Quick! Blow out the candles!”

Since he bakes, this would work.

What I want to know is--did he take Jackie at her word, and NOT bake his own cake this year, and therefore not get ANY cake? Sounds like it!

CakeEater

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #49 on: June 13, 2013, 05:46:00 AM »
I make big cakes for lots of people sometimes, and I'd find it a bit strange if the organisers/birthday boy/bride and groom chose their favourite flavour cake if it happened to be something that not everyone would like. They want their guests to enjoy the celebration - not have solely what they themselves would prefer. Then they can go and get their own key lime cake with ginger frosting at another time.

Is there a truly universally-liked flavor, though?  Just about any kind of cake that I can think of, I know someone who wouldn't eat it.  As a simple example, I've known a couple of people who don't like chocolate.  I also know someone who won't eat any kind of cake unless there is chocolate involved.  (She is watching her weight, so she has to really like the cake to make it worth the calories.)

When I make Halloween cakes for the office, I make both chocolate and non-chocolate cakes, one in the form of cupcakes.

No, of course not. But I'm talking about pleasing the majority, or at least, not displeasing the majority, for a large event. And in the OP's case, which is a small event, we know that one of the attendees doesn't like chocolate. So maybe there's a second choice that  would make the everyone mostly happy, and the birthday boy can make himself deliriously happy at another time.

thedudeabides

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #50 on: June 13, 2013, 08:59:31 PM »
I feel like making a case that isn't the honoree's choice is kind of like saying, "Here's your present, but not everybody else likes what you wanted, so I got you something similar that everyone else likes."  If you don't want to make what the birthday person wants, don't make or buy the cake.

In the past year or so, I've made or bought cakes for a couple of friends and my girlfriend has made a couple more.  All were honoree's choice, although I didn't like two and my girlfriend didn't like two others.  They weren't for us; they were gifts for our friends.

KenveeB

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #51 on: June 13, 2013, 09:05:08 PM »
I make big cakes for lots of people sometimes, and I'd find it a bit strange if the organisers/birthday boy/bride and groom chose their favourite flavour cake if it happened to be something that not everyone would like. They want their guests to enjoy the celebration - not have solely what they themselves would prefer. Then they can go and get their own key lime cake with ginger frosting at another time.

Is there a truly universally-liked flavor, though?  Just about any kind of cake that I can think of, I know someone who wouldn't eat it.  As a simple example, I've known a couple of people who don't like chocolate.  I also know someone who won't eat any kind of cake unless there is chocolate involved.  (She is watching her weight, so she has to really like the cake to make it worth the calories.)

When I make Halloween cakes for the office, I make both chocolate and non-chocolate cakes, one in the form of cupcakes.

No, of course not. But I'm talking about pleasing the majority, or at least, not displeasing the majority, for a large event. And in the OP's case, which is a small event, we know that one of the attendees doesn't like chocolate. So maybe there's a second choice that  would make the everyone mostly happy, and the birthday boy can make himself deliriously happy at another time.

But if there's ever a time when you should get to be happy instead of "mostly happy," isn't it your own darned birthday? You have to compromise and do what the majority wants all the rest of the time. It's not like he's insisting that they have chocolate cake for every event, he's asking for the treat he prefers for his own birthday. If Jackie is so insistent on no chocolate cake, then she needs to arrange going out somewhere and having individual desserts.

whatsanenigma

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #52 on: June 14, 2013, 09:31:56 AM »
I make big cakes for lots of people sometimes, and I'd find it a bit strange if the organisers/birthday boy/bride and groom chose their favourite flavour cake if it happened to be something that not everyone would like. They want their guests to enjoy the celebration - not have solely what they themselves would prefer. Then they can go and get their own key lime cake with ginger frosting at another time.

Is there a truly universally-liked flavor, though?  Just about any kind of cake that I can think of, I know someone who wouldn't eat it.  As a simple example, I've known a couple of people who don't like chocolate.  I also know someone who won't eat any kind of cake unless there is chocolate involved.  (She is watching her weight, so she has to really like the cake to make it worth the calories.)

When I make Halloween cakes for the office, I make both chocolate and non-chocolate cakes, one in the form of cupcakes.

No, of course not. But I'm talking about pleasing the majority, or at least, not displeasing the majority, for a large event. And in the OP's case, which is a small event, we know that one of the attendees doesn't like chocolate. So maybe there's a second choice that  would make the everyone mostly happy, and the birthday boy can make himself deliriously happy at another time.

It seems to me, though, that birthday boy would be really happy if a cake alternative was used, such as a pie.  He seems to be just the type who is picky about his cake, "cake" being the operative word.

If he were insisting "You must give me a cake and it must be chocolate" that would be one thing, but I don't think he is.  It seems more like he's saying that the only kind of cake he likes is chocolate but he also likes pies, etc, and one of those would be perfectly fine by him and would appeal to all the guests.  And the one who wants to bring the cake is the one insisting it must be cake.

He's willing to compromise, but the one who wants to provide the cake is not, it seems.  And she asked him specifically what kind he wants, so it seems to me that she really should bake that kind, if she insists on a cake.  If she didn't want to make a chocolate cake, she should have offered specific alternatives, like some previous commenters have pointed out.  To ask "what would you like?" and then say "no" really seems the height of rudeness to me.

As much as I don't understand it personally  :) birthday boy just doesn't seem to be a big fan of cake.  At this point, I personally think that the best solution would be to have a cake in a flavor that the others like and also some kind of pie.  That is, if there has to be an actual cake at all.


artk2002

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #53 on: June 14, 2013, 02:37:00 PM »
I think the birthday person should choose, but in this case, I don't think he should have chosen chocolate.
Birthday boy can go and buy himself his favourite cake any day of the year.

Then why bother having a cake at all? Isn't the purpose of a birthday cake to honor the person celebrating their birthday?
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PastryGoddess

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #54 on: June 14, 2013, 03:33:59 PM »
I think the birthday person should choose, but in this case, I don't think he should have chosen chocolate.
Birthday boy can go and buy himself his favourite cake any day of the year.

Then why bother having a cake at all? Isn't the purpose of a birthday cake to honor the person celebrating their birthday?

exactly?

whatsanenigma

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #55 on: June 14, 2013, 04:25:31 PM »
I think the birthday person should choose, but in this case, I don't think he should have chosen chocolate.
Birthday boy can go and buy himself his favourite cake any day of the year.

Then why bother having a cake at all? Isn't the purpose of a birthday cake to honor the person celebrating their birthday?

exactly?

I think, for some people, the purpose isn't so much "to honor the person celebrating their birthday" as it is to say "Hey, everybody, look at me! I gave this person a whole birthday cake! Fall down and worship my generosity!".

Not to say that the person offering the cake in the OP is going quite this far with the attitude, but I get the feeling that the goal isn't entirely altruistic in the sense of wanting to honor the birthday person.

Otherwise, she would respect the fact that the only kind of cake he likes, apparently, is chocolate, but he does like other desserts that everyone else would like also, and bring one of those instead.

And if there is something big about "he must blow out a candle after we sing" then they could get a chocolate cupcake to go with the pie, to stick a candle in and light it.  I actually don't know how well pie would hold candles (probably depends on the pie) but it seems that the person offering the cake in the OP is sticking to the letter of the birthday "rules" but ignoring the spirit, which is sad to me.

NutellaNut

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #56 on: June 14, 2013, 04:33:43 PM »
My father is allergic to chocolate.  My favorite cake flavor is chocolate, by a wide margin, and I inherited that love from my mother who defines the word chocoholic.  Growing up, we always had a chocolate cake for the birthday girl, and an extra dessert for my Dad.  He never had a problem with this plan, especially since it meant he'd have yummy dessert (lemon pie, cherry pie, cheesecake, etc.) for days afterward.  He has never asked that we not serve what the birthday person would like most.

magicdomino

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #57 on: June 14, 2013, 04:35:06 PM »
I used to date a guy who didn't like cake, so I can tell you that fruit pies with a top crust hold candles very well.  Ex-boyfriend didn't like cream pies, so I don't know if merangue or whippled cream can hold candles. 

Judah

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #58 on: June 14, 2013, 04:40:26 PM »
I used to date a guy who didn't like cake, so I can tell you that fruit pies with a top crust hold candles very well.  Ex-boyfriend didn't like cream pies, so I don't know if merangue or whippled cream can hold candles.

In my family the birthday person chooses the meal and the dessert. I always choose Lemon Meringue pie because I dislike cake. The meringue holds candles just fine. DD & DS always choose a cake from Baskin Robbins, and DH always asks me to make a cake. 
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CakeEater

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Re: Who chooses the birthday cake flavor?
« Reply #59 on: June 14, 2013, 05:57:13 PM »
I feel like making a case that isn't the honoree's choice is kind of like saying, "Here's your present, but not everybody else likes what you wanted, so I got you something similar that everyone else likes."  If you don't want to make what the birthday person wants, don't make or buy the cake.

In the past year or so, I've made or bought cakes for a couple of friends and my girlfriend has made a couple more.  All were honoree's choice, although I didn't like two and my girlfriend didn't like two others.  They weren't for us; they were gifts for our friends.

And if you're giving cake as a gift, which I often do, then great! In lieu of a gift of similar value, I'll give you whatever flavour you'd like. And I'd ask for my favourite in that case as well.

But all of the other gifts will be for the exclusive use of the birthday boy/girl - the cake is for sharing at the party, and especially at as small a party as this, it seems ungracious that s/he should insist on a flavour that they know one of the guests doesn't like, and especially ask to be baked by the guest who doesn't like it.

I think the birthday person should choose, but in this case, I don't think he should have chosen chocolate.
Birthday boy can go and buy himself his favourite cake any day of the year.

Then why bother having a cake at all? Isn't the purpose of a birthday cake to honor the person celebrating their birthday?

exactly?

Because cake isn't to honour the person having a birthday. It's the focus of the singing, it holds the candles etc. It's a traditional part of celebrating the event, and is supposed to be shared by all the participants.

I view my birthday as a time when people are really as free to completely ignore me as any other day of the year, and I consider myself lucky if anyone does choose to do something for me. It's not my day to be a dictator of any kind, even a birthday cake dictator. If someone is kind enough to offer to go to all the effort to make me a cake, then the least I can do is choose a flavour that they're happy to eat as well! Especially when they're one of only a few people at the party.