I really don't need advice, as this is family and we must attend the wake/funeral for family reasons. But in all of the funerals I've ever attended, I've never seen this particular situation and I did wonder if anyone else here on Ehell had run into it.
My spouse's uncle (husband of his father's sister) died. The funeral will be on Monday at their church. The wake is one hour prior to the funeral. So, the wake is at 6 p.m., the funeral at 7 p.m. and then a drive across a metro area for the graveside service at the cemetery. Yes, this will most likely be in the dark, but I'm not the one planning this.
We will be at all of the above. The timing is the way it is because my spouse's aunt didn't want to provide a meal. However, my spouse got a phone call from his aunt telling him that we are invited to a meal in a restaurant after the graveside service but not to tell anyone else since not everyone was being invited.
I've never had this happen before. Either there is a meal or there isn't and I've never been invited (maybe I've always been on the "B" list and didn't know it)
to a meal after a funeral that didn't include everyone who attended the funeral.
Oh well...as my spouse said, we are just observers, not participants and it will be interesting to see how this plays out, especially since I doubt very much if people won't just ask other people if they are coming to the restaurant after the graveside service.