Relevant background:
I graduated law school in May '12, took the My State bar exam in July '12, and was officially sworn in as a licensed attorney of My State in Nov. '12. Due in part to the poor economy, and in part to wanting to practice a specific type of law, I had no success with finding a position with an established law firm, though I made diligent efforts for many months. In Aug. '12 I decided to open my own practice, and I had all systems in place to open my firm's doors the day that I was sworn in. Since then I have had some good months and some lean months, but overall I had been able to get by. Admittedly, this survival has been due in part to a very generous monetary gift from my grandparents at the time of my graduation (before I had decided to open my own practice), which is now gone, although I do still have a retirement account that I can break into if absolutely necessary. My fiancé is a full-time student, and will graduate with his bachelor's degree in International Business in Dec. of this year.
On to the dilemma:
Since November, every time I have talked to my grandfather he has asked me if I am "looking for a job yet". The first gazillion times I explained that I was greatly enjoying working for myself, and that I would really like to continue in that path if I could make a go of it. The last time he asked I responded that I
have a job, and I really like it.
Perhaps that finally got through, because when we spoke today he didn't bring the subject up again. Instead though he wanted to discuss my fiancé's career prospects. My fiancé has been tracking the job market in his field for some time now, and the possibilities look promising, though we won't know for sure until he is in a position to actually start applying. I told grandfather some of the big name positions that we had seen. Grandfather then wanted to know if DF was only looking at jobs in our area, and when I replied that he was grandfather latched onto that as the new wrong-thing-to-do. I explained that DF has a son here, and that we are not willing to relocate him again (we moved here 2 years ago for DF's son's mother's career), so we will be staying here until the (now 12 y.o.) child is 18. That only got a lecture about how much that was limiting DF, and he needed to look into international positions. I reiterated again that that would not be possible, if for no reason other than DF has a child
here. At that point grandfather dropped it, but I suspect this is not the last I've heard of the subject. (It actually isn't the first time it's come up either, come to think of it.)
So, eHellions, I need suggestions. How do I respond when my grandfather, who is elderly, and has been very generous with me my entire life,
- Wants to know when I am going to get a "job" and launches into the lecture of the day about malpractice suits, the dangers of my chosen field of law, or my impending certain bankruptcy, and/or
- Sees fit to criticize my betrothed for his decision not to abandon his child and wife-to-be in pursuit of financial riches?
Right now my thoughts are to respond to his lectures on the necessity of looking for a "job" or seeking international employment with "That is an idea," and then doing our own thing. But what I really would prefer is to shut down the idea that it is okay to tell a 34 and 40 year old how to conduct their career path or raise their family. I'm not sure how many times I can listen to grandfather suggest that DF take a job out of the country when doing so would mean all but never seeing his child.
Topic: Need something better than the stock phrases (Read 5002 times)