General Etiquette > Life...in general

One more wedding question - "In lieu of gifts, please donate"

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JeseC:
When receiving an invitation to a wedding where the couple has indicated they would prefer charitable donations to X or Y instead of gifts, what is the proper etiquette.  Does one still get a card, and if so what does on put in it?

guihong:
Get a nice card and give your congratulations to the happy couple (incidentally, asking for donations is an etiquette faux pas).  Donate to the cause or not, as you wish.

JeseC:

--- Quote from: guihong on June 09, 2013, 10:14:04 AM ---Get a nice card and give your congratulations to the happy couple (incidentally, asking for donations is an etiquette faux pas).  Donate to the cause or not, as you wish.

--- End quote ---

I do have to say - what wouldn't be a faux pas in the situation where the couple doesn't want gifts?  Do you just have to accept them no matter what?  I've seen "word-of-mouth" proposed, but given that the invites are spread across most of the U.S. and several foreign countries somehow I doubt that would work.

guihong:
Yes, you thank the person (by note), and then you're free to do whatever with the gift.  Having "No gifts please" on the invite is technically a boo-boo, but many invitations have that.  I can see how word of mouth wouldn't work in your case, but for a smallish gathering, that's how it's supposed to be done.  The boo-boo is "directing" people how to donate to charity, and linking charity with a wedding.  Prince William got away with it, but he's an exception ;).

(Warning: other threads on this topic have gone down the drain).

shhh its me:
   I don't think there is ONE specific right answer to reply when "no gifts/donations" is on an invitation because its never suppose to be there.  Personally I think the explicitly expressing "please don't spend money one us"  is one of the least offensive faux pas a couple can make.  I think a card with a person note of congratulations and "a gift has been made to charity in your names" is fine; If you despise the charities you don't have to donate or mention it on the card.  I think in either case you still give a card.

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