And on top of it all, Alan did not take the good advice of e-hell (as given through his friend LifeOnPluto). Please correct me if I'm wrong, LifeOnPluto, but the previous posts read like he came to you for advice and that you did pass some along.
I wonder if the other three guys caught on to the awkward moment when Bob realized what happened. Maybe they will realize what a self-serving jerk Alan is and then Alan will be the one left without a tennis partner for future tournaments. Karma may bite Alan eventually.
Thanks, something.new.every.day . . . I was thinking the same thing.
We can bash Alan all day long for not following our
advice (about the ball boy, etc.) but if OP didn't pass our wise thoughts on to Alan, how is he to know differently?
"Alan is well intentioned. I do believe he has a good heart. But unfortunately, he is rather immature (late 20s, but a "late bloomer", still lives at home with his parents, etc) and very socially clueless. There are times when he can be an absolute clod, and sadly (for Bob) this is one of those times."
OP, it sounds like you believe in Alan. Please be honest. Did you coach him on the responses that you've received here?
If not, then I give Alan a bye on being a clod, simply because he didn't know any better.
In the grand scheme of things, I don't think that this is a horrible offense. I think it happened because someone was clueless as to how to appropriately handle this situation.
Being clueless or ignorant doesn't necessarily make one an overall unforgivable jerk.
We all make mistakes.
(edited to change unforgiving to unforgivable)