General Etiquette > Family and Children

What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43

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bah12:

--- Quote from: ncgal on June 10, 2013, 12:55:58 PM ---I dont think you are over reacting.  For me and my daughter, the day care/track out program will call me when she has been actually physically sick or running a temp of around 100.1 or something.  Normal temp and just wanting to lay around, would not rate a phone call.

--- End quote ---

The phone call wouldn't even bother me all that much.  If she had said something like "FYI, DD asked to take a nap early.  She doesn't have a fever so I'm just going to let her sleep and see how she does.  I just want you to know now in case it's the beginnings of her getting sick,"  I would have been fine.  It was the, "she asked to take a nap.  Come get her now," that bothered me.  If I had to leave work and pick her up every time she so much as coughs, I might as well not work.  Also, kids (including DD) have been there with runny noses and colds.  I get that daycares and schools are germy places.  We have never been told that she can't come to daycare if she has a cold, yet as far as potential to make other kids sick, I think that would be more the case than just a "less active and hungry than normal."

This hasn't come up in the three years that we've been going to Bonnie, so I'm just at a loss and wondering if something is going on with her.  I'd hate to fire her over one incident...

Bexx27:
You're not being unreasonable at all. I would be angry, too. I would let her know that DD was not sick and having to leave work for no good reason was seriously inconvenient. Rather than accuse her of lying, maybe say it seems that she was overreacting to DD's behavior because all the other kids were sick and she was expecting DD to get sick, too.

It's surprising to me that she doesn't already have guidelines for when kids are too sick to stay there. For example, the parent handbook for my DD's daycare center says:

Your child should not come to [daycare], or will be sent home, if s/he has:
• A temperature of 100 or more as determined by an underarm or oral thermometer or temporal scan thermometer. Your child should not return until 24 hours after temperature returns to normal without the aid of a fever reducing medication.
• Severe cold: runny nose, cough, sore throat, sneezing and/or fever.
• Vomiting (more than infant "spitting up").
• Diarrhea (watery or greenish bowel movement that is more frequent than usual). Your child should not return until 24 hours after last diarrhea-like bowel movement. If diarrhea is a side-effect of medication taken by the child, your child may return to [daycare] with a doctor’s note indicating they are well enough to participate in group care.
• Rashes you cannot identify or that have not been diagnosed by a doctor.
• Severe headache, earache, or upset stomach.
• Signs of extreme fatigue or general ill feeling.
• Red and/or runny eyes

I would propose coming up with a similar list to guide future decisions.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote --- Bonnie told me that the inspector told her that she couldn't have sick kids at the daycare because they make the other kids sick.  That if he had shown up that day, she would have gotten written up because DH and I didn't come get DD the first time she asked us to.

--- End quote ---

I would suggest you contact this public agency and ask them to provide you with the criteria THEY use to determine whether a child is sick.

I would imagine that it would have to be a fever. Or extreme listlessness.

This wording:

--- Quote ---• Signs of extreme fatigue or general ill feeling.

--- End quote ---

is probably what Brenda will point to--that wanting a nap at an unusual time is "extreme fatigue." So you might probe about whether the inspector has any further guidance on what constitutes "extreme fatigue."

But no, wanting to take a nap at an unusual time, when all other behavior is pretty normal is not what *my* doctor would have called "extreme fatigue."

Penguin_ar:
You are right to be annoyed.  The play school my kids go to have similar rules to Bexx, those seem standard. There is a  difference between a child being sleepy (esp. with reason such as yours), and being lethargic (potential sign of illness).  A good carer knows the difference. 

I think it is worth setting some perimeters for the future with the day care provider, but ultimately, this relationship may go south anyways.  :(

NyaChan:
bah12 - I know you said you don't want to end this arrangement based on one incident, but I see it as the second incident.  Plus, I think having a backup will help you feel more able to decide what you actually want from Bonnie and able to walk away if she can't provide it.

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