What a tough situation. I know from talking to friends how tough it is to find good childcare--someone you like, that your kids also like, in a convenient location, for a decent price. You don't want to give that up once you've found it.
But on the other hand, I think you have to consider that on that particular day, your DD did not
receive good care. Maybe Bonnie genuinely overreacted, or maybe she consciously/subconsciously wanted the day off, but for whatever reason, the end result was not good. You were bothered multiple times at work and eventually had to take the day off to attend to your child, who was not in fact sick at all. And the photo thing is suspicious as well, suggesting that your DD had been behaving quite normally with Bonnie that day, in contrast to Bonnie's fears of illness.
I would suggest looking around for other providers--not because you're going to switch immediately, but just so you feel like you can
, if the need arises. I'm likening it to a job--maybe overall you like your job, but sometimes there are bad days, when you think, "How am I going to cope if it's always like this?" If you're terrified of being unable to find another job, you're going to put up with a lot more nonsense from your current one than maybe you should--at least, things will look a lot different through that haze of desperation.
But, if you start looking for new jobs, just idly, and get a feel for what's out there, maybe you will feel more like, "Hey, I could always try here, or here, or here." Obviously, seeing a job posting is way different from actually obtaining that job, just as seeing an ad for a daycare provider is way different from them meeting all your requirements, including having an open spot for your child. But I think it can really help one's mindset to understand that switching jobs, or switching daycare providers, is a viable, realistic option, that can help us look at our current situations more objectively.
Bonnie may be your friend, and of course you want to have some consideration for her personal life, she's not a robot after all. But the primary relationship
between you at this point has to be about the quality of care your DD is receiving. I hope you get a chance to talk to Bonnie more about what happened. Maybe something like, "Yeah, Friday was crazy, huh? The thing is, DD wasn't actually sick when I got her home. Aside from being a little tired, she was perfectly fine. And then *I* felt really bad, because I had to run out on an important meeting with my boss. Which of course I would be happy to do if she was really sick, but the thing is, she wasn't. So why don't you tell me again what made you think she was so sick she had to go home, and let's discuss what the plan is for the future regarding illnesses. I get your worry about the health inspector, but the fact is, if your illness standards are going to be that strict, then I'm probably going to have to take a lot more time off work to look after DD myself than I was bargaining for, and that's just not going to work for me. So I might have to consider taking DD somewhere else."
Only not all at once like a monologue, of course.