Author Topic: Entertainment at the expense of others.  (Read 2545 times)

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LadyL

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Entertainment at the expense of others.
« on: June 10, 2013, 12:56:55 PM »
LordL and I were at a bar with friends where a rap group was performing. At one point in the night, they opened up the stage to anyone who wanted to participate in a freestyle rap battle. At first it was mainly friends of the group who came up, but then a man I recognized from around town joined in. I recognized him in part because every time I see him, he is wearing the exact same outfit - a very distinctive, brightly colored getup that basically emulates the clothing trends of the late 80s. Anyhow, it quickly becomes clear that this guy is definitely not a rapper - if anything his performance made me wonder if he had an intellectual disability. He kept repeating the same phrases over and over in a robotic cadence, not in time to the music. At one point he started reciting the lyrics to an 80s pop song. The rap group seemed to get a charge out of this and egged him on rather sarcastically. The man took their support as genuine and started repeating "you are all my friends! you are all my friends!" as his new "lyric."

We decided to leave because the whole thing was pretty uncomfortable. On the one hand, this guy was clearly a willing participant and seemed to be having fun, but he also seemed unaware that he was being mocked. The rap group was made up of guys who looked very young (I wondered if they were actually old enough to be in a bar) and it's clear they were not handling the situation in a mature or kind way.

I'm not sure there's anything we could have done as audience members but I was wondering if ehell had any ideas. Say something to the staff? I feel like if they tried to pull the guy off the stage or something, he would actually be more upset and insulted than if he was allowed to continue "performing." I wonder if the more harmless thing would be to let him have his moment and view it more like karaoke, where it isn't about being "good." I just wish the rappers hadn't been so obviously snickering at him.

NyaChan

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2013, 01:04:07 PM »
In the situation you described, I would let it go.  There's really nothing you can do that wouldn't likely embarrass the guy who would otherwise be unaware that he had any reason to be embarrassed.  I would clap far less for the rapping group though. 

Eden

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2013, 01:11:10 PM »
That's a tough one. I might try to make myself believe they were simply cheering him on goodnaturedly instead of so they could continue to laugh at him. But I think any kind of intervention would only have been upsetting and embarassing to him. Maybe this is an ignorance is bliss moment?

cwm

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2013, 01:14:49 PM »
I sometimes go to karaoke. The location has changed, but the peole running it and the regulars haven't. There's one guy, "Kyle", who always comes. He's a bit mentally slow, but he does his best. Every time he gets up on stage at karaoke, the regulars cheer him on wildly because they're supportive of him, even if he doesn't so as "good" as some of the other performers. I've heard people who weren't regulars downright badmouth him, saying how terrible it was that they let the R-words up on stage. They cheered just as loud when he was done singing, and I was disgusted. But Kyle keeps coming back and singing, and the regulars love him. He even started coming to improv shows (a lot of the regulars are in a group that does them) and whoever's emceeing the show makes sure to get a few ideas from Kyle at every show. They make sure that whoever is badmouthing him or giving him a hard time as drowned out by people who actually do love him so the OP's scenario never happens. All Kyle knows is that he's got the best group of friends ever who love to listen to him sing and think his ideas are really funny.

If the situation was different and there weren't such great people around, I don't know what I'd do. I definitely wouldn't blame the bar for one offense, but I'd make sure I knew the name of that rap group and avoid them. And if any of my friends mentioned them, I'd tell them exactly what I'd seen in the hopes of turning them away from that group.

SleepyKitty

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2013, 01:47:57 PM »
I would definitely have said something to the staff - about the rap group. No need to pull the man off the stage, but I would definitely have asked to speak to a manager and said something about how it bothered me to see a group that had been invited to perform at the bar treating another person so badly in public. Say something like, "I came to enjoy the show, not to see your performers mocking someone, and we left because of it. We won't be back to see them again."

gramma dishes

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2013, 01:54:28 PM »
I would definitely have said something to the staff - about the rap group. No need to pull the man off the stage, but I would definitely have asked to speak to a manager and said something about how it bothered me to see a group that had been invited to perform at the bar treating another person so badly in public. Say something like, "I came to enjoy the show, not to see your performers mocking someone, and we left because of it. We won't be back to see them again."

I like that.  Succinct and to the point. 

And it's the one thing that might get a bar to take action and let the performing group know that their behavior was causing the venue to lose business and that particular group wouldn't be performing there again.  Both the bar management and the performers might hopefully learn a valuable lesson.

Bijou

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2013, 05:24:25 PM »
I sometimes go to karaoke. The location has changed, but the peole running it and the regulars haven't. There's one guy, "Kyle", who always comes. He's a bit mentally slow, but he does his best. Every time he gets up on stage at karaoke, the regulars cheer him on wildly because they're supportive of him, even if he doesn't so as "good" as some of the other performers. I've heard people who weren't regulars downright badmouth him, saying how terrible it was that they let the R-words up on stage. They cheered just as loud when he was done singing, and I was disgusted. But Kyle keeps coming back and singing, and the regulars love him. He even started coming to improv shows (a lot of the regulars are in a group that does them) and whoever's emceeing the show makes sure to get a few ideas from Kyle at every show. They make sure that whoever is badmouthing him or giving him a hard time as drowned out by people who actually do love him so the OP's scenario never happens. All Kyle knows is that he's got the best group of friends ever who love to listen to him sing and think his ideas are really funny.

If the situation was different and there weren't such great people around, I don't know what I'd do. I definitely wouldn't blame the bar for one offense, but I'd make sure I knew the name of that rap group and avoid them. And if any of my friends mentioned them, I'd tell them exactly what I'd seen in the hopes of turning them away from that group.
I was going to say, it just reminds me of karaoke, which I spent many hours enjoying, good, bad and other.  If the band was mocking the guy that is wrong, but who knows what they were thinking.  Apparently the entertainer enjoyed getting up and doing his thing. 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2013, 11:14:37 PM »
I think getting the bar staff to pull the guy off the stage would just embarrass the poor guy unnecessarily. So I think you did the right thing in saying nothing.

I would, however, make a point to avoid seeing any shows by that rap group (or buying their CDs or whatever).

Raintree

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Re: Entertainment at the expense of others.
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2013, 02:36:02 AM »
Are you sure it was really unkind? I wasn't there, and you were, so it is hard for me to pick up the tone, but is it possibly a case of the 80's guy mocking himself and enjoying the attention?