Author Topic: I Didn't Commit To This  (Read 5353 times)

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Otterpop

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2013, 07:31:35 PM »
KimodoDragon,

Is this an isolated incident of "strangeness" by Gwyneth, or has there been more than just this one case?

The reason I am asking is that I had a close relative who suffered from Alzheimer's.  As her memory was failing, she would start forgetting things people had told her, just like Gwyneth seemed to have forgotten that you had already told her that you could not attend.

If this is part of a pattern, it is possible that Gwyneth is in the early stages of dementia.

I was thinking that too.  She was talking as though you'd committed to being there and then flaked.  I like Mr. Tango's idea of asking her questions to remind her of your initial conversation.

chibichan

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2013, 08:08:13 PM »
I have a sneaking suspicion that Kathy didn't  know you were "missing" at all, and Gwyneth is just looking to get some cash back for the tickets.

This , exactly . Gwyneth probably tried that line on every.single.person who declined the invite . An invite , I might add , that did not seem to include the information that she was selling tickets to Kathy's performance .
The key to avoiding trouble is to learn to recognize it from a distance.

TootsNYC

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2013, 08:33:51 PM »
Well, based on KD's original post, I would have assumed that if there were a ticket price, I'd be paying it; I wouldn't have assumed that Gwenyth was going to *treat* me. I didn't read it as a social invite.

But I also wouldn't have thought that I was somehow committed, ro that I'd be buying the tickets from HER or from Kathy.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2013, 11:20:02 PM »
How very odd. It's possible (as a PP suggested) that Gwyneth got you confused with someone else. Or perhaps she misunderstood you (somehow?) and thought that you would skip the retirement party to attend Kathy's recital?

Or as cat-fu said, maybe Kathy is just trying to scam some bucks off people.

Whatever the case, you are clearly NOT in the wrong, and definitely not obliged to apologise for your non-attendance, or worse, pay them the $20 for a ticket.

lorelai

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #19 on: June 10, 2013, 11:32:52 PM »
I'm not sure why you didn't say, "What? I told you I couldn't go. And Kathy sure never asked me directly whether she should get a ticket for me."

Feel free to defend yourself.

And no, you aren't in the least obligated, etc. ,etc.
This , I do think if she;s brings it up again you need to say some version of " Gwynne I think you might have confused me with someone else.  I told you I want not able to attend the moment you asked me." oe what toots said.

I wouldn't be coy or subtle she either made a mistake or didn't listen or just wants to guilt you for these tickets.

I concur. "I don't know why you or Kathy would be upset with me. I told you when you first asked there was no way I could attend as I had a prior commitment. I can only imagine that you must have me confused with someone else."

I like this response the best, it's very polite! Hopefully that'll work for you if it comes up again.

Raintree

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #20 on: June 11, 2013, 02:06:41 AM »
I think I would have said more, ie, "Well those weren't my tickets; when you asked me to go I told you I couldn't make it, so I wasn't one of your no-shows."

KimodoDragon

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2013, 08:35:37 AM »
Thanks to everyone for your responses!

To answer snappyIt:  I interact with Gwyneth somewhat frequently and I see no signs of memory failure.

If she brings this subject up again when I see her next, I will simply remind her (again) that I did not commit, had a previous engagement to attend and in no way asked for a ticket to the showcase.  She can be upset all she wants, I can't make this my problem.


siamesecat2965

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #22 on: June 11, 2013, 11:26:28 AM »
Thanks to everyone for your responses!

To answer snappyIt:  I interact with Gwyneth somewhat frequently and I see no signs of memory failure.

If she brings this subject up again when I see her next, I will simply remind her (again) that I did not commit, had a previous engagement to attend and in no way asked for a ticket to the showcase.  She can be upset all she wants, I can't make this my problem.


That sounds like the best course of action to me.  If she doesn't have any signs of forgetfulness etc. as you say, then my take on it is that she was trying to make you feel guilty, and perhaps offer to pay for a ticket you never asked for, or committed to in the first place. and as you say, she can be as upset as she wants, as you did nothing wrong.

cwm

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #23 on: June 11, 2013, 11:46:03 AM »
Thanks to everyone for your responses!

To answer snappyIt:  I interact with Gwyneth somewhat frequently and I see no signs of memory failure.

If she brings this subject up again when I see her next, I will simply remind her (again) that I did not commit, had a previous engagement to attend and in no way asked for a ticket to the showcase.  She can be upset all she wants, I can't make this my problem.

This is the perfect attitude to have. I'm sure everyone has enough in their life to keep them busy, why worry about what someone else has created as a manufactured "problem" for you by them not listening?

DottyG

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #24 on: June 11, 2013, 03:23:55 PM »
Quote
I see no signs of memory failure.

I do.  She forgot that you said you weren't attending the concert! ;)


KimodoDragon

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Re: I Didn't Commit To This
« Reply #25 on: June 11, 2013, 03:29:23 PM »
Quote
I see no signs of memory failure.

I do.  She forgot that you said you weren't attending the concert! ;)

Good one, DottyG!