Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter

[TootsNYC]

I agree WillyNilly, the parents do need to monitor better, but also, most adults know not to friend underage kids they don't know and to have their pics on their phone.  Kids are learning, adults should know.

Actually, I think often adults are learning too, especially in the realm of social media.

[seriously?]

The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i

Hi, I think you may not have understood the original post. 
I appreciate all of your responses and have decided not to say anything to my FIL. As I've said before I talked to my BF's daughter and instructed her to unfriend/block him and to have her friends do the same.  If it happens again (ie, he tries to reach out to another friend, etc) I will explain to him why that may not be the best decision, even with the most innocent of intent.

[Roodabega]

As a parent of older teenagers, I do have friends that are friends of my kids.  I also know them though volunteering at the activity my kids are involved in.  I have never sent a friend request to any kid and never will, only responding to requests.  Me interactions on FB have generally been punny or I hope amusing responses to the occasional post that just screams for it:  IE (What kind of reptile should I get as a pet?  -> Nonpoisonous!)

I assume that I am put on an "ADULT" restricted list, and am fine with that.  My reasoning for my FB stance is so that I don't get looked at like the FIL is.  As an adult male, I think it is on us to be ultra vigilant to perceptions.  Interactions with young people not only have to always be above board, but also have to appear that way to others.

I know that the general advice has been to let kids and their parents handle who has access to their social media, but I think it would be a kindness to the FIL to have his son explain about how things are perceived.  So if I were the OP, I would let her husband handle it.

[NyaChan]

The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i

Hi, I think you may not have understood the original post. 
I appreciate all of your responses and have decided not to say anything to my FIL. As I've said before I talked to my BF's daughter and instructed her to unfriend/block him and to have her friends do the same.  If it happens again (ie, he tries to reach out to another friend, etc) I will explain to him why that may not be the best decision, even with the most innocent of intent.

Can you explain the misunderstanding please?

[seriously?]

The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i

I think  my BF's DD felt that he was an authority figure and was somehow obligated to accept. To be honest, her mother (my BF) isn't very involved in FB or monitoring what her daughter does.  I guess I wasn't thinking they were inconsistent, but as others have posted, sometimes a younger person may feel it's rude somehow to ignore a friend request from an elder.  And the daughter did care, she's just didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

[Eeep!]

I suspect the grandfather copied the pictures of his grandson's girlfriend so he can brag to his friends, "See how pretty my grandson's girlfriend is?  He's a chip off the old block, isn't he?"  That sort of thing.

Unless there some sort of PROOF this guy's a pedophile or pervert or something, of which I have seen none of in this thread. 

OP, do *you* think your FIL is some kind of pervert?  Why don't you weigh in on this and clear it up for us.

This was one of my first thought too.  Just like someone might keep a picture of their grandson and his girlfriend in his wallet to show people.

[*inviteseller]

The only kid I have on FB that is not related to me is my DD's best friend, the only adult my DD has on hers that is not related to her is best friends dad.  Many other friends of hers have sent me requests but I do not accept them not do I send them requests because it just feels wrong.  I am friendly with them but I am not their buddy.  I would feel a bit strange if adult relatives of DD's friends started friending her.  I still think you or your DH should say something because, while he is probably just clueless, somewhere, somehow this could come back to bite him in the butt.   And even if he is showing off pics of gransons's gf the problem is she didn't give him the picture..because she didn't even know her until just recently, and clueless or not, it just raises the creepy flag of an adult having pics of a teenage girl he just recently met on his phone.

[Shoo]

I am friends with a lot of my 13 year old daughter's friends.  I'm friends with ALL of her softball teammates.  They all friended ME (and I accepted) because they wanted to see my photo albums.  I take pictures of my daughter and her team all the time, and they wanted access.  I don't feel weird about it at all.  Seems perfectly  normal to me.

[Gyburc]

To me, the 'friending' thing doesn't seem odd. However, the fact that FIL has a picture of his GS's girlfriend, whom he has never even met or spoken to, does make me go .

I think it's important to remember that something can appear creepy even if there is no intent to be creepy. FIL may just think his GS has good taste, as one of the PPs mentioned,  and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But keeping her picture really seems odd, and could easily be misunderstood.

[EnoughAlready22]

To me, the 'friending' thing doesn't seem odd. However, the fact that FIL has a picture of his GS's girlfriend, whom he has never even met or spoken to, does make me go .

I think it's important to remember that something can appear creepy even if there is no intent to be creepy. FIL may just think his GS has good taste, as one of the PPs mentioned,  and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But keeping her picture really seems odd, and could easily be misunderstood.

I agree with this.  I end up with pictures on my phone from facebook that I didn't intentionally put there.  Sometimes when look at a link or picture, my phone will automatically save it.  So in this case, I don't find it creepy.

[Roe]

To me, the 'friending' thing doesn't seem odd. However, the fact that FIL has a picture of his GS's girlfriend, whom he has never even met or spoken to, does make me go .

I think it's important to remember that something can appear creepy even if there is no intent to be creepy. FIL may just think his GS has good taste, as one of the PPs mentioned,  and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But keeping her picture really seems odd, and could easily be misunderstood.

I agree with this.  I end up with pictures on my phone from facebook that I didn't intentionally put there.  Sometimes when look at a link or picture, my phone will automatically save it.  So in this case, I don't find it creepy.

I agree. It's not the friending thing at all (though that is a bit "off" to me, personally) but the pictures on his phone?!  That's more than a bit weird. 

[bopper]

I am friends with some of my kids friends, but only the ones that I have some sort of relationship (have been around them growing up.) or they requested me as a friend. I too try not to post/comment very much either.