Author Topic: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name  (Read 13391 times)

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PastryGoddess

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #60 on: June 12, 2013, 09:57:02 AM »
I just love this portion of your conversation

Me: Fine, you can be pissed.  That's your right. But you don't get to decide nicknames.  You're not her parent, so none of that is up to you.


Especially the first and last parts :) I think you'll need to keep those phrases in your back pocket ready to be whipped out at a moments notice

weeblewobble

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #61 on: June 12, 2013, 10:00:15 AM »
I just love this portion of your conversation

Me: Fine, you can be pissed.  That's your right. But you don't get to decide nicknames.  You're not her parent, so none of that is up to you.


Especially the first and last parts :) I think you'll need to keep those phrases in your back pocket ready to be whipped out at a moments notice

Yes, it was so full of awesome, I actually saw shiny spines floating around my monitor.

rose red

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #62 on: June 12, 2013, 10:04:30 AM »
Turn it around on her.  Why is she so fixated on this for your child?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #63 on: June 12, 2013, 10:12:21 AM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?

LOL! Yeah that had me scratching my head too when reading that exchange. 

I'm also one that believes in letting kids come up with their own names for family members, though I do ask if there's a preference.  My mother refused to be called anything that smacked of grandmother, saying she was "too young to be a grandmother" when my oldest was born.  My MIL who is 4 years younger than her said she wanted to be called nana since it's easy for little ones to say.  My bff who is sort of like a grandmother to my 3 said the youngest could call her whatever he came up with and so she's "Naynee" for now.

My bff who is godmother to my youngest and sees herself as being an unofficial grandmother to my 3 is "Auntie" to the older 2 and she said "Oh just let babe come up with his own name for me."
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

weeblewobble

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #64 on: June 12, 2013, 10:43:03 AM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?

LOL! Yeah that had me scratching my head too when reading that exchange. 

I'm also one that believes in letting kids come up with their own names for family members, though I do ask if there's a preference.  My mother refused to be called anything that smacked of grandmother, saying she was "too young to be a grandmother" when my oldest was born.  My MIL who is 4 years younger than her said she wanted to be called nana since it's easy for little ones to say.  My bff who is sort of like a grandmother to my 3 said the youngest could call her whatever he came up with and so she's "Naynee" for now.


I posted this on the "Yiayia" thread a while back:

What I have found in dealing with kids is that when a grandparent/aunt/uncle/etc tries to control what a child will call them, in the large majority of cases, those attempts to control the agenda fail utterly.  The kid will call that person whatever they darn well pleased. My own sister had this problem with her mother-in-law, who insisted that she was too young to be a grandmother (no, she's not) and so she shouldn't be called Grandma, but a silly, vaguely s3xualized nickname that was in no way related to her first name.  (Think "Kitty" or similar.) As soon as my niece was born, she called herself Kitty and would sit with the baby in her lap repeating, "Kitty" over and over.  What did my niece end up calling her? "Granny."

citadelle

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #65 on: June 12, 2013, 10:56:22 AM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?

LOL! Yeah that had me scratching my head too when reading that exchange. 

I'm also one that believes in letting kids come up with their own names for family members, though I do ask if there's a preference.  My mother refused to be called anything that smacked of grandmother, saying she was "too young to be a grandmother" when my oldest was born.  My MIL who is 4 years younger than her said she wanted to be called nana since it's easy for little ones to say.  My bff who is sort of like a grandmother to my 3 said the youngest could call her whatever he came up with and so she's "Naynee" for now.


I posted this on the "Yiayia" thread a while back:

What I have found in dealing with kids is that when a grandparent/aunt/uncle/etc tries to control what a child will call them, in the large majority of cases, those attempts to control the agenda fail utterly.  The kid will call that person whatever they darn well pleased. My own sister had this problem with her mother-in-law, who insisted that she was too young to be a grandmother (no, she's not) and so she shouldn't be called Grandma, but a silly, vaguely s3xualized nickname that was in no way related to her first name.  (Think "Kitty" or similar.) As soon as my niece was born, she called herself Kitty and would sit with the baby in her lap repeating, "Kitty" over and over.  What did my niece end up calling her? "Granny."

If the name is what I think it is, that is kinda a creepy image!

My daughter called my mom "nana" on her own. No other grandma's in my family were nanas. Now everyone calls her nana! Most of these names happen naturally.

weeblewobble

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #66 on: June 12, 2013, 11:06:16 AM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?

LOL! Yeah that had me scratching my head too when reading that exchange. 

I'm also one that believes in letting kids come up with their own names for family members, though I do ask if there's a preference.  My mother refused to be called anything that smacked of grandmother, saying she was "too young to be a grandmother" when my oldest was born.  My MIL who is 4 years younger than her said she wanted to be called nana since it's easy for little ones to say.  My bff who is sort of like a grandmother to my 3 said the youngest could call her whatever he came up with and so she's "Naynee" for now.


I posted this on the "Yiayia" thread a while back:

What I have found in dealing with kids is that when a grandparent/aunt/uncle/etc tries to control what a child will call them, in the large majority of cases, those attempts to control the agenda fail utterly.  The kid will call that person whatever they darn well pleased. My own sister had this problem with her mother-in-law, who insisted that she was too young to be a grandmother (no, she's not) and so she shouldn't be called Grandma, but a silly, vaguely s3xualized nickname that was in no way related to her first name.  (Think "Kitty" or similar.) As soon as my niece was born, she called herself Kitty and would sit with the baby in her lap repeating, "Kitty" over and over.  What did my niece end up calling her? "Granny."

If the name is what I think it is, that is kinda a creepy image!


Oh, no.  The actual name was in no way cat-related.  It wasn't creepy, just annoying.

JenJay

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #67 on: June 12, 2013, 11:20:50 AM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?

Exactly!! I love how she kept saying "Why are you so fixated on this?" Um, OP isn't fixated on it, she's stating her boundary. The arguing granny-to-be is the one who's fixated!

mime

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #68 on: June 12, 2013, 12:01:36 PM »
I just love this portion of your conversation

Me: Fine, you can be pissed.  That's your right. But you don't get to decide nicknames.  You're not her parent, so none of that is up to you.


Especially the first and last parts :) I think you'll need to keep those phrases in your back pocket ready to be whipped out at a moments notice


Yes, it was so full of awesome, I actually saw shiny spines floating around my monitor.

PastryGoddess and weeblewobble beat me to it... I love the message you sent with that!

(...and geeky nursery: cool!)


TeamBhakta

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Re: Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #69 on: June 12, 2013, 12:09:55 PM »
Mom: Why are you so fixated on this?

I keep reading that in Regina George's voice ("Like, why are you so obsessed with me ?")

crella

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #70 on: June 12, 2013, 01:41:15 PM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?


Exactly!

daen

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #71 on: June 12, 2013, 02:54:07 PM »
I love it when people try to force me into doing something they want me to do by telling me, "Come on, let me have my way!  It's no big deal!"

Well, if it's no big deal, why are you so hell-bent on doing it?

LOL! Yeah that had me scratching my head too when reading that exchange. 

I'm also one that believes in letting kids come up with their own names for family members, though I do ask if there's a preference.  My mother refused to be called anything that smacked of grandmother, saying she was "too young to be a grandmother" when my oldest was born.  My MIL who is 4 years younger than her said she wanted to be called nana since it's easy for little ones to say.  My bff who is sort of like a grandmother to my 3 said the youngest could call her whatever he came up with and so she's "Naynee" for now.



When friends of mine were expecting their first child, it was the first grandchild on the maternal side but not on the paternal side. As the paternal grandparents were already known to all their grandkids by the names the maternal side would have chosen by default (like Bubbe in Yiddish-influenced families), the maternal side decided to let the grandkid(s) pick their name.
They are now known to all their grandkids as Meema & Deeda.

cattlekid

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #72 on: June 12, 2013, 03:32:56 PM »
Small threadjack:

My poor sister is going through the Lutheran version of this with my mom.  Mom is fixated on getting my niece baptized in the Lutheran church.  My BIL was not raised in any religion and my sister and I were raised Lutheran as were generations of our family on both sides.  Neither my sister or I are particularly religious.  My sister and BIL do not attend a church and had a nondenominational wedding service at a historical mansion. 

Well, fast forward a few years and now my mom is not only still fixated on the baptism that hasn't happened, she has asked to take my niece for a week so she can attend Vacation Bible School in the mornings and spend the afternoon at the pool.  My sister and BIL are firm that my niece will not be baptized and my mom has expressed to me how she cries "every day" about the non-existent baptism. 

I applaud my sister and BIL for standing their ground, while mentally eye rolling every time my mom starts in about my niece and religion.  I'm not sure what Mom thinks she is going to accomplish by bringing this up around me, but I refuse to engage the crazy.

/*end threadjack*/

TootsNYC

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #73 on: June 12, 2013, 04:40:47 PM »
I'm a Lutheran, and all six of the ministers I've known would never baptize a child without having a long conversation with that child's parents. I've even known them to refuse to baptize a child when the parents weren't committed to an ongoing faith relationship for the kid or the family.

I can't speak for her pastor, of course. (though you might want to speak TO him)

cattlekid

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Re: *Update #53, p.4* Mother wants to give my baby a Jewish Name
« Reply #74 on: June 13, 2013, 09:07:51 AM »
I don't think my mom is off the deep end enough to try to have my niece baptized on her own without my sister and BIL involved.  However, I think she is taking the approach of "if I harp on this enough, and make it sound like it's the complete end of the world, and never let it go, maybe they'll cave".  I think she is taking it as a personal failing that neither my sister or I have cleaved to the Lutheran religion so the generations-long tradition of being a "church family" has died with her offspring.

I'm a Lutheran, and all six of the ministers I've known would never baptize a child without having a long conversation with that child's parents. I've even known them to refuse to baptize a child when the parents weren't committed to an ongoing faith relationship for the kid or the family.

I can't speak for her pastor, of course. (though you might want to speak TO him)