Author Topic: It's not rude, but not done either  (Read 9738 times)

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Surianne

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #75 on: June 16, 2013, 12:16:18 AM »
I'm a little surprised at those posters who say that it "wouldn't register" whether a bathroom stall was taken or not. In my experience, it's often fairly obvious when someone is using a stall. Apart from the lock on the door being set to "engaged" (if it's that type of lock), you can often hear the noises (eg feet shuffling, or toilet paper jigging on the roll, etc), or see the shadow cast under the door by the person inside. But I acknowledge it can often depend on the set-up of the bathroom.

Wouldn't register means we wouldn't notice -- not that we're incapable of telling if someone is in there.  Because to me there's nothing offensive about using the stall next to someone, it wouldn't even occur to me to notice.  My goal is to get in there, do my business, and get out, so I'm on a mission -- I'm not going to take the time to think about which stall to use!  In washrooms I use regularly I pretty much always pick the same staff.  Just habit. 

kareng57

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #76 on: June 16, 2013, 12:22:33 AM »
I'm a little surprised at those posters who say that it "wouldn't register" whether a bathroom stall was taken or not. In my experience, it's often fairly obvious when someone is using a stall. Apart from the lock on the door being set to "engaged" (if it's that type of lock), you can often hear the noises (eg feet shuffling, or toilet paper jigging on the roll, etc), or see the shadow cast under the door by the person inside. But I acknowledge it can often depend on the set-up of the bathroom.

Wouldn't register means we wouldn't notice -- not that we're incapable of telling if someone is in there.  Because to me there's nothing offensive about using the stall next to someone, it wouldn't even occur to me to notice.  My goal is to get in there, do my business, and get out, so I'm on a mission -- I'm not going to take the time to think about which stall to use!  In washrooms I use regularly I pretty much always pick the same staff.  Just habit.

I agree, I just don't get this.  If I'm in a  public facility where the restrooms are fairly well-used (even if there's not a lineup) such as on a BC Ferry - I am not going to analyze which empty stall is the best one to use.  I am going to use the next available one.  Restrooms "noises" are considered to be pretty mainstream, and I can't really understand how anyone could avoid it unless they were in a private suite.

Isilleke

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #77 on: June 16, 2013, 04:22:49 AM »
Re: movie theatres, some of them have allocated seating, and I've noticed that for some reason, cinemas often sell seats that are close together. So if you're in a theatre with allocated seating, and someone else sits right next to you, they might not be obnoxious or socially clueless - it could be that the cinema allocated them that particular seat.

I've worked in a movie theatre with allocated seating as a cashier and that's absolutely true. It's because people can choose if they buy them at home (and choose their seats themselves) or not. When they don't, we see that 90% leaves one seat open and it isn't very fun - to say the least - to explain to people why a movie is closed when there are still seats available.
Especially when they get all mad and demand that we do something about all those people, but that's for another thread  ;).

Another thing I have noticed people do is when they park really badly and there is no denying it. Example: when there would be room for two cars, but they park themselves in the middle.

Zilla

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #78 on: June 16, 2013, 11:15:39 AM »
I live in a land of suv's/trucks/vans.  I hate pulling out of the parking lot (even if I backed in) and not being able to see as most people/cars don't stop for cars.  ::)


So I will park way out and often at the times I go, it's quiet but I will park 20 spaces AWAY from the nearest parked car.  And not under a tree either.  And every time I come out there is a car parked either side of me in the sea of empty spaces.every.single.time.


Gah! 

citadelle

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #79 on: June 16, 2013, 12:58:04 PM »
I'm a little surprised at those posters who say that it "wouldn't register" whether a bathroom stall was taken or not. In my experience, it's often fairly obvious when someone is using a stall. Apart from the lock on the door being set to "engaged" (if it's that type of lock), you can often hear the noises (eg feet shuffling, or toilet paper jigging on the roll, etc), or see the shadow cast under the door by the person inside. But I acknowledge it can often depend on the set-up of the bathroom.

Re: movie theatres, some of them have allocated seating, and I've noticed that for some reason, cinemas often sell seats that are close together. So if you're in a theatre with allocated seating, and someone else sits right next to you, they might not be obnoxious or socially clueless - it could be that the cinema allocated them that particular seat.

For me, it is not that I am *unaware* that someone is using a stall, it "wouldn't register" in terms of there being an issue that someone is using a stall. It is innocuous enough that it doen't register as a problem to be considered when making my own stall choice.

Zilla

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #80 on: June 16, 2013, 01:45:27 PM »
I'm a little surprised at those posters who say that it "wouldn't register" whether a bathroom stall was taken or not. In my experience, it's often fairly obvious when someone is using a stall. Apart from the lock on the door being set to "engaged" (if it's that type of lock), you can often hear the noises (eg feet shuffling, or toilet paper jigging on the roll, etc), or see the shadow cast under the door by the person inside. But I acknowledge it can often depend on the set-up of the bathroom.


For me, it is not that I am *unaware* that someone is using a stall, it "wouldn't register" in terms of there being an issue that someone is using a stall. It is innocuous enough that it doen't register as a problem to be considered when making my own stall choice.
Most bathroom locks I have encountered doesn't have an "engage" sign on it.  Also the doors swing shut.  So in order to "find" an empty one, I have to lightly touch doors till it opens gently. (but the ones that are locked won't detect my gentle pat so they won't be disturbed)  It wouldn't occur to me to keep going so that there is an empty one between me and an occupied one.

NyaChan

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #81 on: June 16, 2013, 01:49:04 PM »
I pick stalls based on what looks clean to me.  If the first one I'm comfortable using is next to one already  in use, so be it - I don't care if there's other empty stalls that might be clean also. There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to use that one.  Plus, there's always the fear that the stall may not actually have TP, in which case having a person nearby can come in handy. I haven't had to ask yet, but I've helped others out in the past, so it does happen.

Isilleke

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #82 on: June 16, 2013, 01:51:12 PM »
I live in a land of suv's/trucks/vans.  I hate pulling out of the parking lot (even if I backed in) and not being able to see as most people/cars don't stop for cars.  ::)

I don't, but there is this one van that will park thisclose to our driveway. He's well within his rights, but I sincerely doubt he isn't aware how difficult it is for us to pull out with him blocking all sight.

NyaChan

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #83 on: June 16, 2013, 01:57:01 PM »
I live in a land of suv's/trucks/vans.  I hate pulling out of the parking lot (even if I backed in) and not being able to see as most people/cars don't stop for cars.  ::)

I don't, but there is this one van that will park thisclose to our driveway. He's well within his rights, but I sincerely doubt he isn't aware how difficult it is for us to pull out with him blocking all sight.

Some people genuinely just don't realize what effect their actions can have.  My neighbors did this to me until I pointed out to them that if they parked over the sidewalk AND parked a car on the road right up to my driveway, there was absolutely no way to see the 3 lane road as I try to pull out of my driveway.  Luckily, they were much nicer than the previous neighbors and weren't nearly as bad after I showed them.

sammycat

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #84 on: June 16, 2013, 10:41:45 PM »
Wouldn't register means we wouldn't notice -- not that we're incapable of telling if someone is in there.  Because to me there's nothing offensive about using the stall next to someone, it wouldn't even occur to me to notice.  My goal is to get in there, do my business, and get out, so I'm on a mission -- I'm not going to take the time to think about which stall to use!  In washrooms I use regularly I pretty much always pick the same staff.  Just habit.

The thing is though that I'd like as not just not notice that the stall next to mine is taken. It simply wouldn't register. So I wouldn't consciously be choosing "a free stall next to one that's taken", I'd be choosing "a free stall and that's all I notice".

Same here.

It's just such a boring but necessary activity, that I just want to get in and out as soon as possible and be on my way. I'm not really interested in an extensive analysis of the situation.

TootsNYC

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #85 on: June 16, 2013, 11:41:10 PM »
I live in a land of suv's/trucks/vans.  I hate pulling out of the parking lot (even if I backed in) and not being able to see as most people/cars don't stop for cars.  ::)


So I will park way out and often at the times I go, it's quiet but I will park 20 spaces AWAY from the nearest parked car.  And not under a tree either.  And every time I come out there is a car parked either side of me in the sea of empty spaces.every.single.time.


Gah!

Years ago my DBro and his wife had to buy a brand-new car because their credit wasn't good enough to get a loan on a used one (no collateral value, I guess).

On its first trip home from the dealer, they needed to stop at the grocery store. They didn't want to get a door ding on the first day, so they parked WAY WAY out in the parking lot. Like, WAY out. Not just 20 spaces. Like, 6 empty aisles away.

When they came out, there was a car parked RIGHT next to theirs--and yes, a door ding.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #86 on: June 17, 2013, 04:17:59 PM »
Midnight, you probably need to start watching their body language.  If it's clear they aren't comfortable, I think you should consider alternatives. Honestly, I wouldn't like it myself. YMMV
Don't tell me to watch their body language.  I have a right to sit in any empty seat.  I don't have to explain my choices to you or anyone else.  No one has ever gotten up and taken another empty seat.  If your personal space is that precious, maybe you should not be on a public bus.  By the time I get off the bus, people are standing *boob-to-butt.*  There's no room for people with "boundary issues."

What I object to is the number of posters who are squicked out by someone encroaching on their personal space and assigning motives to these people.  As other posters mentioned, some of us don't even notice these minor encroachments because we are used to living in close quarters and our "bubble" is smaller. 
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

cass2591

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #87 on: June 17, 2013, 04:55:28 PM »
If you don't have to explain your choices to anybody then why did you post an explanation of your choice?

I object to posters rudely calling out other posters when a polite response would have sufficed.
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laud_shy_girl

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #88 on: June 17, 2013, 05:00:59 PM »
The cars huddling thing makes me think of "I robot" (can't find the exact quote and it's bugging me) about the robots huddling together in the dark. 

Maybe they don't want your car to be lonely.
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PeterM

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Re: It's not rude, but not done either
« Reply #89 on: June 18, 2013, 12:04:20 AM »
The cars huddling thing makes me think of "I robot" (can't find the exact quote and it's bugging me) about the robots huddling together in the dark. 

Maybe they don't want your car to be lonely.

My car is a lone wolf, baby. Just like me. And my wife. Also my dog and cat. Though the cat might be more of a puma. That probably makes more sense. Still lone, though, that's the important thing.

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