Wow, you guys are good, and fast! Since I wrote the OP, I've already decided against going to Alice and her husband's place for the next gathering. If she doesn't like it, tough noogies. I did tell my husband I needed a break from her for a while, but I don't think he understands the level of annoyance I have with this woman because all I said to him was, "Frankly, she's a right b****", and I didn't get much of a chance to explain because the baby needed attention, it was late, blah blah blah. I will sit down with him to let him know why I won't be going to the next gathering, and why I don't want her in my house anymore, but I'll wait until the subject of the next gathering actually comes up so it doesn't seem as though I'm attacking him or his friends.
There are other women in the group, and they have observed this behavior, but it hasn't been directed at them because they aren't mothers. There is one other woman who will be having a baby in the Fall, and she's already gotten the same lectures I got during my pregnancy, so we'll wait and see how it goes for her after her baby's born. The other women haven't said much at all primarily because it obviously makes them uncomfortable, judging from the way they immediately look at the floor and stop talking.
I have entertained the idea of just having a couple of the other women over when the dudes go out without having Alice, and that's also because Alice insists on bringing her daughter with her wherever they go, and her daughter cannot settle down in my house. She chases my cats, yells at them when they try to play with their toys, and runs and jumps off of everything. She behaves when I tell her to knock it off, but Alice has made it known that she doesn't like it. Say, that's a thought: maybe I should tell Alice that if her daughter's in my house, she has to follow my rules, and if Alice doesn't like it, she doesn't need to worry about coming over? I think I might have something there, what do you guys think? That might be a little cowardly though, because that's a small problem totally separate from the root of the matter, which is that Alice is a Bitter Bossy Pants (tm).