Author Topic: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)  (Read 18195 times)

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Phoebe

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #90 on: June 25, 2013, 07:52:13 PM »
Or, if you want to mess with her mind:

BP: Where is LeeLee?
DH (looks around absently): Huh.  I thought I forgot something.  I'll be back.

He leaves, never to return to the party.

LOL!  I may have to try this!  ;D

JenJay

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #91 on: June 25, 2013, 10:21:23 PM »
Wow, so parenting for three whole years has made her an expert? However did women do it before she came along? I think I'd have to have some fun with her and say "Actually, I asked my friend about that. She's been a mother for four years and she said it's fine."  ;D

TootsNYC

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #92 on: June 25, 2013, 11:27:12 PM »
Would it really be so bad for your DH to just tell Alice and her husband that you aren't coming to the gatherings because you simply don't want to?


Yeah, I actually agree. "I'll be there, see you at six, but Leelee doesn't want to come tonight."

lowspark

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #93 on: June 26, 2013, 08:21:05 AM »
"She had already set up something on HER calendar so she couldn't come."

Never mind you're washing your hair and plan to watch a chick flick by yourself while the baby sleeps (toddler, dog, whatever)....you had already set up something to do and just couldn't make it.

Now, if it's your sister's Bridesmaids Bash two weeks before the wedding - by all means tell Alice that - because she can't argue that your sister would have first priority....can she?

I disagree with this. As soon as you justify your absence, it sets up a precedent and she will then expect you to justify it every time.

And yeah, I can see the "Leelee just doesn't want to come anymore" answer as having possible repercussions on the husbands' friendship.

Best thing is to just say you have a previous commitment with no further explanation and continue to say the same thing every time.

Lexophile

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #94 on: June 26, 2013, 09:52:12 AM »
Why are you still reading her emails?

I'd block her address and forget she ever existed.
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YummyMummy66

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #95 on: June 26, 2013, 10:17:52 AM »
I wonder how many couples have other commitments at other gatherings?

What happens usually when you have these gatherings?  Do most couples make the gatherings?

Could it be that Alice noticed that these couples usually attend most gatherings, but at her house, not so much?


Hunter-Gatherer

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #96 on: June 26, 2013, 05:01:27 PM »
Well, I'd imagine the effect would be trouble between OP's husband and his friends, particularly Alice's husband - something I think they are trying to avoid because he enjoys that friendship. 

I suppose it depends on the actual people, but if the husbands have been friends since childhood, I doubt that their wives not getting along would be a deal breaker for their friendship.

I know that my ex-wife didn't particularly get along with the wife of one of my best friends and it never bothered anyone involved.  We just didn't force them together, except in very rare circumstances.

TootsNYC

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #97 on: June 26, 2013, 05:20:08 PM »
Probably LESS damage is done if the husbands don't try to force their not-quite-compatible wives to be friends also, or to come along, etc.

(ditto for wives w/ non-compatible husbands, of course)

ThistleBird

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #98 on: June 27, 2013, 05:59:53 PM »
"One last thing you ought to think about - come to agreement with your husband about what answer he is to give when asked "Where is LeeLee?".  Because he will be asked when he shows up alone. "


Oh, I have a line for this one! My DH is an introvert and I've lived in several environments where everyone was expected to show up to frequent gatherings, potlucks, etc. My DH has excellent boundaries and has never felt guilty about just skipping when he needs to, whatever people think--but I was getting pretty annoyed for awhile that *I* had to deal with all the "Where is DH?" comments. (On a side note I also developed a pet peeve about the word "anti-social" during this time. Started to want to make a general announcement: People, "anti-social" means criminal tendencies. The word you are looking for is UNSOCIABLE.)

I finally hit on the solution:

Sociable Person: Thistlebird, where is Mr. Thistle?
Thistlebird: At home.

(Said in a tone that implies I am confident this is a full and satisfactory answer to the question.)

No one asks me where he is anymore!

hobish

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #99 on: June 27, 2013, 07:16:04 PM »

ThistleBird, that reminded me of something. Back when a whole bunch of us who were all friends lived in the same apartment complex, I was hanging out with my friend Kay and a mutual friend Nick. We had lived there for a while, but my bf Gish had not met some of my new friends. Nick asked how come he kept hearing about Gish, but he never seemed to be around. Kay's answer was perfect. In a thoughtful yet matter-of-fact tone she said, "Gish ... doesn't really like people or things." It still makes me laugh to this day (and Gish and Nick are so much alike and are good friends now).

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MrTango

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Re: Dealing with a Bossy Pants (UPDATE #50 and 64)
« Reply #100 on: June 27, 2013, 07:29:35 PM »
Sociable Person: Thistlebird, where is Mr. Thistle?
Thistlebird: At home.

That's fabulous!

I can see the conversation progress with a Bossy-Pants:
Bossy-Pants: At Home?  She missed my party just to stay at home?
OP's DH: Yep.  Do you by chance have any beandip?
BP: How can OP possibly think that staying home is more important than my party?
(to which I'd have a hard time responding with anything nicer than) "Because you ask bossy questions like that one."