Author Topic: But it's my hair!... More info #58, #63, #74, #84, #86, #105, #161  (Read 14707 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Specky

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 339
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #90 on: June 14, 2013, 10:31:50 PM »
I think the bride-to-be has made a number of unreasonable demands (why make demands at all?).  OP, you have way more patience and tolerance than I would.  The only compromise I would suggest is to hold off on the color, but go for the haircut.  No reason to not cut your hair.

delabela

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 564
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #91 on: June 14, 2013, 10:33:05 PM »
Also, what do her piercings have to do with anything?

Many posters in this thread have argued that the OP's family might be extremely conservative and not brook any modifications such as dyed hair.  But if the bride herself has significant piercings, that's clearly not the case.

Piercings can be removed, and for all we know, that's what the bride intends to do.  And presumably the piercings have been a part of the sister's look for longer than 6 weeks.

OP, really, you can do what you want (of course).  It seems as though this wedding isn't really an event you are looking forward to, so at least it will be done soon and hopefully everyone will make the best of it.  Perhaps you can see pushing the hair thing back a bit as a gesture of goodwill.  It could be that 10 years from now look back and are satisfied you took some steps that inconvenienced you but helped your sister be happy on her wedding day. 

Maybe this is because I come from the perspective of a youngest child, but even though you've been there and done that, it might mean a lot to your sister if you could see from her perspective how important this day is for her.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2013, 10:42:49 PM by delabela »

ilrag

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 745
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #92 on: June 14, 2013, 10:36:18 PM »
I don't understand what the problem is with some one in the bridal party having a slightly different haircut/color is.  Especially with respect to the pictures.

Have you ever seen wedding photos from the 80's? People's hair is hilarious! And at the time, it was totally normal. Same for fancy outfits or hair or what ever from any time period.

No, to me, where I live the hair cut/ color linked wouldn't be a style that would make me look twice if I saw it on the street. It's just not that out there. The OP wants to treat herself, for what she considers a rare and special occasion. The fact that it's close in timing to her sister's wedding shouldn't change things.

lorelai

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 142
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #93 on: June 14, 2013, 10:40:02 PM »
True colors often pop out during wedding planning time, and I think it's perfectly reasonable for OP to judge her sister. I sure am. I may be in the minority here but I think the amount that you're being asked to spend on this wedding is a lot (amounts are relative so the point is, it's a lot for the OP and that should be good enough for all of us). I also think brides who dictate hair styles and make up are going too far in their requests/mandates. I think your sister has already crossed the line of good behavior. After this wedding, I wouldn't be surprised if you distanced yourself from her. I would, after all this hoopla over your hair, as well as that tacky shower/tea she ordered you to be a part of.

However, even though I personally have brightly dyed hair, I think you should get the cut, and hold off on the color. Why? Because your sister might be the type of person who throws in your face what you did and didn't do for her when it came to her "special daaaay" and do you really want this thrown in your face? When it comes down to it, if you can take the high road, then you'll know that you did the right thing and no one can come down on you for it. And in the end, if she still comes down on you for merely cutting your hair, if it still bothers her for years on out, then you'll know for sure that your values don't align. And then maybe that'll be a reason to distance yourself.

MrsVandy

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 508
  • Formally futurelillady
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #94 on: June 14, 2013, 10:44:55 PM »
I think you should get the cut now, and then in 8 weeks get the colour and a trim. You will need a trim by then anyway if you intend on maintaining the new hairstyle.
 I am a hairstylist, and I can honestly say I find sometimes its easier to do a updo on shorter hair.




delabela

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 564
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #95 on: June 14, 2013, 10:47:06 PM »
True colors often pop out during wedding planning time, and I think it's perfectly reasonable for OP to judge her sister. I sure am. I may be in the minority here but I think the amount that you're being asked to spend on this wedding is a lot (amounts are relative so the point is, it's a lot for the OP and that should be good enough for all of us). I also think brides who dictate hair styles and make up are going too far in their requests/mandates. I think your sister has already crossed the line of good behavior. After this wedding, I wouldn't be surprised if you distanced yourself from her. I would, after all this hoopla over your hair, as well as that tacky shower/tea she ordered you to be a part of.

However, even though I personally have brightly dyed hair, I think you should get the cut, and hold off on the color. Why? Because your sister might be the type of person who throws in your face what you did and didn't do for her when it came to her "special daaaay" and do you really want this thrown in your face? When it comes down to it, if you can take the high road, then you'll know that you did the right thing and no one can come down on you for it. And in the end, if she still comes down on you for merely cutting your hair, if it still bothers her for years on out, then you'll know for sure that your values don't align. And then maybe that'll be a reason to distance yourself.

I would hardly call a phone call with what sounds to be very little drama "hoopla".

kareng57

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12184
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #96 on: June 14, 2013, 10:48:31 PM »
I think you should get the cut now, and then in 8 weeks get the colour and a trim. You will need a trim by then anyway if you intend on maintaining the new hairstyle.
 I am a hairstylist, and I can honestly say I find sometimes its easier to do a updo on shorter hair.


That's why I didn't understand the "additional appointment/cost" argument.  I have shortish hair and have to get it cut every six weeks.

Jones

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2419
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #97 on: June 14, 2013, 10:51:35 PM »
OP I did my hair in black and purple earlier this year. The purple didn't hold and by the time my own sister's wedding came round, about 8 weeks later, I had dark hair with highlights. I was not a bridesmaid.
Will you be able to upkeep the purple or be OK with washed-out looking pale purple 'lights? Just something to think about.

« Last Edit: June 14, 2013, 10:55:07 PM by Jones »

lorelai

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 142
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #98 on: June 14, 2013, 10:53:53 PM »
The fact that it's drama at all seems a little ridiculous to me.

Surianne

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10685
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #99 on: June 14, 2013, 10:56:13 PM »
I think you should get the cut now, and then in 8 weeks get the colour and a trim. You will need a trim by then anyway if you intend on maintaining the new hairstyle.
 I am a hairstylist, and I can honestly say I find sometimes its easier to do a updo on shorter hair.


That's why I didn't understand the "additional appointment/cost" argument.  I have shortish hair and have to get it cut every six weeks.

Do you mean my post?  I cut my own hair and haven't been to a stylist in 10+ years, so I probably don't understand how it works.  I know when I did go get my hair cut regularly I hated the effort and difficulty of finding a time for the appointments, and it was quite expensive ($50 a haircut!  Ridiculous), so that's where I was coming from.

SPuck

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 937
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #100 on: June 14, 2013, 10:57:33 PM »
I think there is exceptions, guilt tripping, and eventual possible resentment on both sides. Personally I would go with Willy Nilly's earlier suggestion of give and take, it seems like the most reasonable balance.

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9433
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #101 on: June 14, 2013, 11:07:55 PM »
I think you should get the cut now, and then in 8 weeks get the colour and a trim. You will need a trim by then anyway if you intend on maintaining the new hairstyle.
 I am a hairstylist, and I can honestly say I find sometimes its easier to do a updo on shorter hair.


That's why I didn't understand the "additional appointment/cost" argument.  I have shortish hair and have to get it cut every six weeks.

Do you mean my post?  I cut my own hair and haven't been to a stylist in 10+ years, so I probably don't understand how it works.  I know when I did go get my hair cut regularly I hated the effort and difficulty of finding a time for the appointments, and it was quite expensive ($50 a haircut!  Ridiculous), so that's where I was coming from.

Every woman I know with short hair has to get it cut every 6-8 weeks, otherwise it gets shaggy. And for a style like the one in the picture, it's going to require a fair bit of maintenance.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Surianne

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10685
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #102 on: June 14, 2013, 11:11:07 PM »
Okay, as I said, I may have the hair thing wrong when it comes to cost and trouble.  I can definitely understand the psychological difference in getting the change done all at once, however.  And even without all that, even if it's just a whim that means nothing, it's the OP's right to change her own hair. 

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15620
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #103 on: June 14, 2013, 11:12:03 PM »
I'm with the idea of cut now and color later if only because you really don't want to risk it turning out contrary to expectation.  It would be disastrous to have the colour bleed all over your clothes or skin at the wedding or reception.

Having said that I truly don't understand the whole dictate of all bridesmaids having to wear the same hairstyle.

Mental Magpie

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4830
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: But it's my hair!... More info #58 p4
« Reply #104 on: June 14, 2013, 11:20:22 PM »
The fact that it's drama at all seems a little ridiculous to me.

If we applied that to most things posted here, there wouldn't be an E-Hell.


OP, I have been reading this thread with interest.  I was asked to be the maid of honor when I had a mohawk.  The bride asked me to wear a wig and I obliged.  I was then asked to be the maid of honor in another wedding.  That bride asked me to dye it red to match my dress.  I obliged.  I was about to dye my hair (no longer a mohawk) purple when I was asked to attend a last minute wedding.  I double checked with the bride that it would be OK because I didn't want to distract from her wedding.  She said I wouldn't be me without it and she couldn't wait to see it.

Each time, I did something different, the lengths dictated by my relationship with each bride.  While it was hard to hide a mohawk (especially when many people knew I had one), in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that big of a deal to me.

I am fully in the camp of cut now dye later.  Jones brings up a good point: by the time the wedding comes around, the purple will have faded (probably to a silvery light purple color).  I, personally, think that a wedding is much more important than hair.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.