Iris seems to have hit the nail on the head.
I haven't said a word to my sister about any of the complaints I have voiced here or to my husband.
I volunteered to run games at the kitchen tea, including purchasing prizes. I got there about an hour early, and took the 20 month old so he could meet some of our relatives who had only seen him in photos.
The travel to my parents house to get ready was presented to me as a done deal. And we were told what the cost if our hair would be, not asked if we were able to afford it.
I've said I haven't had a good
hair cut for 5 years. I have had trims. It's about that time in my usual cycle of hair cuts for another short one. A good hair cut and style is more expensive than a trim, and thus justified as a birthday treat.
I did not contact my sister to ask her about the hair. I posted to face book that I was thinking of celebrating my birthday with a new haircut or tattoo. Friends posted ideas, I posted the pic I linked to here. My sister replied that I was having my hair up for the wedding and purple didn't really match the wedding colours, then she called me while I was busy at work to again state that it didn't really go with her "vision" but if I couldn't wait I could do it.
I would probably have gotten the cut without the colour without even thinking about the wedding. Now there is part of me that wants to do all of it just because I'm the big sister and who is she to boss me around?
However given my previous experience with colouring my hair, I am not willing to risk being covered in hives for her wedding so will wait to colour my hair until afterwards.