Changing the Channel?

[jilly]

Since part of your agreement is to carry your own weight in terms of household matters, what if you became the person in charge of cooking dinner?

And you can cook while the show is on (wear headphones to block it out, and to help you concentrate), and eat after!!

This is a great idea, you get to avoid the show while doing your share and your parents get to enjoy their show with no chit-chat.

[CakeBeret]

Since part of your agreement is to carry your own weight in terms of household matters, what if you became the person in charge of cooking dinner?

And you can cook while the show is on (wear headphones to block it out, and to help you concentrate), and eat after!!

This is a great idea, you get to avoid the show while doing your share and your parents get to enjoy their show with no chit-chat.

Agreed! I love this idea.

[scotcat60]

I don't think you can try to demand that your parents not watch their favorite show because you dislike it, especially if they would otherwise miss it. I think your best bet is a two-pronged approach: first, say that you really would like to have dinner be a time when you can all come together and talk about your day; then, offer to Tivo the show so they can watch it after.


I'd go for this too.

How long does the show last? If it's only half an hour then perhaps you could live with it. My Dad used to like wildlife programmes. Mum and I were not so keen, but we would sit and watch with him, if we had nothing else to do. He sometimes complained that  things I liked were rubbish, but Mum would say "Well Scotcat 60 likes it" i.e. it's part of family life that you can't all agree perfectly on what you want. You can't insist on people changing their habits just because you don't like something. So recording the show, or doing something else while it's on is a good compromise.

[artk2002]

If we were doing something during dinner that upset one of my sons, I would absolutely want to know about it, so that I could fix it. Even if that means missing my favorite TV show. I would think very badly of a parent who refused to accommodate their child in that situation. There are times when "I'm the parent, this is the way things will be" is appropriate and times when it isn't.

[delabela]

If we were doing something during dinner that upset one of my sons, I would absolutely want to know about it, so that I could fix it. Even if that means missing my favorite TV show. I would think very badly of a parent who refused to accommodate their child in that situation. There are times when "I'm the parent, this is the way things will be" is appropriate and times when it isn't.

Good point.  They should be given the opportunity to fix the situation.

[Cherry91]

Hello! OP here.

Thank you for everyone's responses so far. There's been some good advice on ways to approach the issue.

For reference, my parents' have a satellite package that allows them to record TV shows. They set their TV to record all episodes of the show and watch them at their leisure. This means that it isn't possible to avoid the show when its on as some people recommended. When we sit down to eat, my parents play the most recently recorded episode of the soap.

Also, there's not anywhere else in the house I could really eat to avoid the TV. Our dining room and living room are one large room with a panel partially separating the two areas, so even if I couldn't see the TV, I would still be able to hear it, and nowhere else in the house is really dining appropriate.

But thank you to everyone who responded.

[Twik]

Who misses Tv shows these days? Between repeats, tiVo, multiple channels showing the same thing at different times and DVDs, I doubt the parents have no options.

[LifeOnPluto]

Hello! OP here.

Thank you for everyone's responses so far. There's been some good advice on ways to approach the issue.

For reference, my parents' have a satellite package that allows them to record TV shows. They set their TV to record all episodes of the show and watch them at their leisure. This means that it isn't possible to avoid the show when its on as some people recommended. When we sit down to eat, my parents play the most recently recorded episode of the soap.

Also, there's not anywhere else in the house I could really eat to avoid the TV. Our dining room and living room are one large room with a panel partially separating the two areas, so even if I couldn't see the TV, I would still be able to hear it, and nowhere else in the house is really dining appropriate.

But thank you to everyone who responded.

What about the kitchen? Could you eat there without hearing/seeing the show?

If not, I'd sit in the dining room with my back to the TV and wear headphones to block the noise.

[TootsNYC]

Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I'd probably feel even MORE strongly than you do about avoiding it.

And I'd broach the idea. If my parents didn't go for it (and I can see that at dinner time might be one of the few times they can sit down to watch anything), I'd find a way to MAKE my bedroom dining appropriate.

I'd get an oversize TV tray or some other small folding table, and put it in my bedroom and play music while I ate.

[hannahmollysmom]

To be honest, I'm sure this is a routine they got into while you were at University. Hard to break old habits now. If it bothers you that much, I opt with the other posters that said you should just go off into another room to eat. They may take the hint after awhile.

Maybe you could mention that they watch it every other night, and you get to pick on the odd nights.

Many years ago, I moved back home after being away for a few years. I stayed up later then my folks. The only TV was in the living room. I would turn it down low, but they still said it kept them awake. That is when it made me realize, it was their home, and they were used to doing things a different way than me.

Us older people get set in our ways and routines. Last year, my daughter and family lost their electric for a few days due to a storm. They stayed with me. After a couple of days of my routine being upset, they finally got their power back and went home. I was so relieved. While I love them dearly, it was an adjustment to my daily routine.

[stormyskies]

It's even possible, depending on your family dynamics, that you could say that dinner is the only time you really get to sit with them and you would like to talk and have more elaborate conversations than watching tv at the same time allows for.  Tell them you want to get to know them better and them to know you better.   Basically, no tv at all during the meal.

My choice would also be to make dinnertime TV-free. It will give you all a time to relax and actually talk to each other. TV-free meals are also better for your health. I've battled my weight for many years, and one thing that all the experts agree on it that people who eat with no distractions pay more attention to what they are eating, enjoy their meal more, and are less likely to overeat.

[stormyskies]

You have my sympathy. My mom is addicted to judge shows, which I despise, and she has dozens of them stored on her video player.  Even when I leave the room, the obnoxious voice of one particular judge seems to permeate the entire house (complete with my mom talking back to the TV as she  sanctimoniously agrees with said obnoxious judge). It's like hearing fingernails on a blackboard.

The only escape, it seems, is to walk outside or to put on headphones and listen to something more agreeable.

Some people can tune out extraneous noise, and some can't. You might have some luck if you make conversation instead. You could say something like, "I'd love to hear that story, dad, do you mind if I pause Morose Soap Opera? I can't concentrate on two things at once, and I want to give you my undivided attention."

If that strategy doesn't work and you find the program insufferable, I agree that it's perfectly reasonable to excuse yourself.