General Etiquette > Family and Children

Mommy Wars

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I hate when the 'experts' use their platform to be judgmental.  I read a website by an 'expert' who had published book and he said things like putting a child in a room by themselves was cruel and almost all women should be able to make enough breast milk and supplementing with formula was lazy.  I happened to do both these things and my daughter is a great sleeper and happy and healthy.  (I did feel guilt about not being able to exclusively breast feed probably because of postpartum blues, but figured that it was better for the baby to get enough nutrition than starve her in the name of exclusively breastfeeding).  My selfish tendencies are coming through again, but I feel if I am happy (like getting enough sleep and not living my life hooked to a breast pump), then I can be a better, more attentive, more loving mother which is better for my family.  It just burns me that an 'expert' would be so judgmental in pushing their own agenda. 

I mostly hate the "mommy" thing as a demographic, because advertisers make some pretty patronizing assumptions about me.  (Yes, I may be a stay-at-home mom with two kids under five - that doesn't mean I want to buy your cleaning products, religious paraphernalia, diet supplements, exercise videos, self-help book, crafting idea magazine, etc.  Not all those things appeal to everyone who is called "mommy" by a three-foot-tall human.)


--- Quote from: fountainof on June 18, 2013, 02:15:27 PM ---
--- Quote ---"I breastfed because if you don't you're lazy and you don't care about your child's health."
--- End quote ---
I always laughed off these kind of comments from people about formula feeding moms by saying I BF because I was too lazy to make bottles.  Seriously, so much work all that washing and sterilizing.  I wanted to BF partly because it was good for DD but also selfishly because if I could do it, it would be easier for me.

I do think mommy wars exist but I try to ignore it.  I don't really care much about other people's parenting style unless it affects me.  For example, if a kid was being mean to DD I wouldn't be comfortable with a parent saying to me "well, we don't like to stifle little Sally" as a reason to let poor behaviour continue.  If they were a friend I would slowly reduce contact.

--- End quote ---

I love the bolded!  I'm somewhat sensitive to all the breastfeeding mommy wars because I was never able to produce milk.  It can make you feel like a failure for not being able to provide for your child.  But I had to realize that it wasn't my fault, that formula was just as good, and I was doing the best that I could. 


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