The mommy wars are alive and well...unfortunately.
With my closest friends, our kids are all different ages with large gaps between them. The ones with older kids would be asked questions, but there was no judging and we all helped each other. That all ended when one finally had her first child, and she became the first woman to ever birth a child! She started getting all holier than thou about what we were doing wrong (btw, other kids were already at least 3 years and up in age!). She complained about how hard it was to us about working from home with a child to care for, and how I did this wrong or others did that wrong.
The closest I ever came to slugging another human was when she looked at me and said that I didn't understand how lucky I was to have my child in daycare because she worked almost 40 hours in 2 weeks from home with a toddler running around and it was just so hard! While she was whining about this I started steaming...yes, it must be so hard NOT to pay daycare, NOT to drag your child out no matter the weather, to NOT have to pray the fever they were running over night would come back and you get a phone call from daycare to come get them now, NOT have to deal with a psycho boss and stress from a hectic job that you put in about 50 hours a week at, to NOT worry about juggling dr appointments so you aren't missing too much work (and there were plenty as DD was battling asthma issues that we had trouble controlling), and to NOT worry about whether your slimy ex would cough up child support, because of course she did have the stress of having to cook a dinner for her husband every night. I, surprisingly said nothing to her but inside I was seething! It came to a head when her and her husband so generously invited DD (at the time 13) to go on vacation with them and their 2 kids and she spent the time ripping me and how I am wrong for making my younger DD take naps (she was 2) because her kids did not need them..her DD (3 yrs) had meltdowns everyday, ripping me for making my kids <gasp> eat healthy instead of steady diets of whatever they wanted, and for expecting DD to do chores.
I have been steadily (as has everyone) distancing myself from her because her kids are unbearable to be around and I get sick of her suggestions (patronizingly handed out). I may, in my head, question what other parents are thinking when I see how they raise their kids, but unless it is dangerous or I see a medical issue that they may not (see my thread about friends DD's speech) I say nothing.