Excuse me?!

[NutellaNut]

I was just on the phone with my best friend.  Her husband has cancer and just had an episode where the radiation is affecting his bladder so he can't release, and he had to go to the ER.  She's under huge stress and it's hard for her.  We had been talking a while, and the topics started moving around to some better things, talks about vacation and so on, and I was glad, because I'm trying to help my friend have a positive attitude.

Then, my call waiting beeped.  I have some important calls I'm waiting on, so I excused myself to my friend for a second and quickly flipped over to the other line, saying, "Hello?"

Rude Telemarketer (RT): Yes, can you hear me well?
Me: (warily) I can hear you, what is this about?
RT:  Yes, ma'am I'm Rhonda from AARP and blah blah...(begins spiel)
Me: (interrupting) I'm sorry, I need to interrupt you here.  I'm on the other line with someone else, and can't talk now.
RT: Oh I see, ma'am.  Well I have a survey of only 4 questions, so if we just do this quickly now-
Me:  No, we cannot do this now, I am on the other line with my friend whose husband has cancer so you will have to excuse me!  Good luck to you!

And I hung up.

Now, I know I went overboard with what I said and my tone, which was clearly annoyed, so I will take my lashings if I must.  But I can't believe the Rude Telemarketer would think it's OK to push the rest of the call when I had already said I had someone else on the other line!

[camlan]

There is a good chance the telemarketer has a script that he/she needs to keep following. Or that you have to say "no" three times before they can hang up.

Pushy telemarketers are following their company's rules, in order to keep their jobs.

Blame the company or organization involved, not the poor telemarketer.

That isn't to say that continuing the conversation isn't rude. I really wish companies would stop this practice. But I think the blame needs to be place where it belongs, and not on the head of the person just trying to make a living. They have very little say in how to market the product over the phone.

The best thing to do is hang up the phone. If you stay on the line talking, they will continue to push. I just say, "Sorry, not interested," and hang up.

[SamiHami]

My standard answer is "I do not accept solicitations over the phone. Please do not call this number ever again" and hang up. All the rest about your friend's husband is irrelevant (not to you and your friend of course! I just mean irrelevant to how you handled the situation).  Your reasons for not wanting to talk to them is none of their business.

You are never, ever obligated to waste your time on the phone with a phone solicitor, whether they want money or a survey or whatever else. YOU pay for the phone for YOUR convenience. IMHO they have no right to use it for their own purposes.

Yes, I do take offense at such calls...could you tell? 

[MrTango]

My standard for telemarketers is "I'm not interested.  Goodbye." and I hang up before they can say anything else.

[That Anime Chick]

The best thing to do is hang up the phone. If you stay on the line talking, they will continue to push. I just say, "Sorry, not interested," and hang up.

This. Nothing more needs to be done.

My standard answer is "I do not accept solicitations over the phone. Please do not call this number ever again" and hang up.

Actually the proper phrase is "Please put this number on your Do Not Call list." Telemarketers are supposed to do that if you make that request. I had to have a long conversation with DH about that one time when he got really nasty with a telemarketer.

[NutellaNut]

Op here!  My normal reply is "We do not believe in supporting telephone solicitation.  Please put us on your Do Not Call list.  Have a good day."

But here, unfortunately, we're actually members of AARP and I would normally have answered her survey, which might be about political questions we would like to be counted in, or services I want my husband to look into.  But not then!

[SamiHami]

Op here!  My normal reply is "We do not believe in supporting telephone solicitation.  Please put us on your Do Not Call list.  Have a good day."

But here, unfortunately, we're actually members of AARP and I would normally have answered her survey, which might be about political questions we would like to be counted in, or services I want my husband to look into.  But not then!

In that case I would have said something like, "This is not a good time. You may call me back next Tuesday (or whenever is good) and I'll answer your questions then."

[lakey]

I have a particular problem with this telemarketer behavior because I am in a situation where I have a 95 year old father who has severe Alzeimer's, is half blind, and half deaf.
He requires care 24/7. I spend 5 out of 7 days a week taking care of him. He is on the "Do Not Call" list. You would not believe the garbage I have had to put up with from telemarketers.

My initial response is, "I'm sorry I don't accept phone solicitations." The telemarketers fall into one of two categories.
1. They respond with something along the line of "Sorry, have a nice day."
2. They continue to harass you.

The people in the first category are fine, they're just trying to earn a living and they will leave you alone if you ask them to.

I am going to discuss the ones from the second category. Telling them you are on a do not call list is useless. Pressing "1" to be taken off their list is useless. They will continue to call you over, and over, and over again. They do not ever take you off their list. Hanging up on them does no good, because there are a number of companies that will, if you answer the phone at all,  call you more than ever.

The fact that they are following their employer's rules and a script is no excuse. These people are adults and know EXACTLY what they are doing. One time I was on the way out the door to attend a funeral when I got one of these calls. I told the person that I was going to a funeral and she still tried to keep me on the line. There is absolutely no excuse for that. None.

I have looked up some of these numbers on the internet, an example is, "Hello, this is Heather from Credit Card Services". They deliberately ignore the "Do Not Call" list regulations and know how to avoid being fined. In order to report them you need to get certain information. They simply give you false information.

With what I have to deal with with caring for my father I can't handle dealing with this garbage. I have had to stop answering the phone for any number other than my or my father's area code. I may be missing calls from people who have legitimate reasons for calling me. Until I was home all day long I had no idea what garbage these people were inflicting on the public and the frequency of their harassment. I've gotten 3-4 calls from some of these companies in one day.

[veronaz]

My standard answer is "I do not accept solicitations over the phone. Please do not call this number ever again" and hang up. All the rest about your friend's husband is irrelevant (not to you and your friend of course! I just mean irrelevant to how you handled the situation).  Your reasons for not wanting to talk to them is none of their business.

You are never, ever obligated to waste your time on the phone with a phone solicitor, whether they want money or a survey or whatever else. YOU pay for the phone for YOUR convenience. IMHO they have no right to use it for their own purposes.

Yes, I do take offense at such calls...could you tell? 

I soooo agree with this. 

I particularly find it annoying when they start off with “Ms. X, how are you today?”  What difference does it make ?  I say “Busy, who is this?”

“Ms. X, how are you today”?
Me:  “Busy, who is this?”
“Is there a more convenient time for me to call back?”
Me: “I asked “Who is this and why are you calling?”
“This is John/Mary from (wherever).  We have a special this month on home security systems and……..”
Me: “I’m not interested.  Please remove my number from your list and don’t call again.  Goodbye.”

[JoieGirl7]

I tend to think that call waiting in and of itself is kind of rude.

Unless you are expecting an important call, why interrupt someone with whom you are deep in a very emotional conversation?  I think you were at least a bit rude to your friend.

[NutellaNut]

Op here!  My normal reply is "We do not believe in supporting telephone solicitation.  Please put us on your Do Not Call list.  Have a good day."

But here, unfortunately, we're actually members of AARP and I would normally have answered her survey, which might be about political questions we would like to be counted in, or services I want my husband to look into.  But not then!

In that case I would have said something like, "This is not a good time. You may call me back next Tuesday (or whenever is good) and I'll answer your questions then."

Yeah, I see where I should have been more specific in my first interrupting her.  I just thought she'd say "Okay, we'll call another time" as has happened other times when I've said I couldn't talk right then.

[NutellaNut]

I tend to think that call waiting in and of itself is kind of rude.

Unless you are expecting an important call, why interrupt someone with whom you are deep in a very emotional conversation?  I think you were at least a bit rude to your friend.

My friend and I talk so often and so long that we have a standing "it's OK to go to call waiting" rule.  Plus, as I said in my initial post, I do have some important calls I'm waiting on, including test results and a call from my brother and parents.  It wouldn't be a big deal to flash over, find out it's my brother, flash back to my friend, wrap up our call, and then speak with my brother.  I just think that when I tell an unsolicited commercial caller, even one who works for a company I use, that it isn't a time I can talk, they should respect that.

[TootsNYC]

Yes--they have their spiel, and they don't know *anything* about the other side of the line.

Here's my suggestion for you:

Then, my call waiting beeped.  I have some important calls I'm waiting on, so I excused myself to my friend for a second and quickly flipped over to the other line, saying, "Hello?"

Rude Telemarketer (RT): Yes, can you hear me well?
Me: (warily) I can hear you, what is this about?
RT:  Yes, ma'am I'm Rhonda from AARP and blah blah...(begins spiel)
Me: (interrupting) I'm sorry, I'm not interested. Take me of fyoru life. Goodbye. <click>

 I need to interrupt you here.  I'm on the other line with someone else, and can't talk now.
RT: Oh I see, ma'am.  Well I have a survey of only 4 questions, so if we just do this quickly now-
Me:  No, we cannot do this now, I am on the other line with my friend whose husband has cancer so you will have to excuse me!  Good luck to you!

And I hung up.

See how much faster that went? How much more quickly you were able to get back to your friend? How much less angry you'd feel?

You do not need their participation of permission to hang up the phone.
Just hang up. Don't even say goodbye if you don't want to, frankly.

[JoieGirl7]

I tend to think that call waiting in and of itself is kind of rude.

Unless you are expecting an important call, why interrupt someone with whom you are deep in a very emotional conversation?  I think you were at least a bit rude to your friend.

My friend and I talk so often and so long that we have a standing "it's OK to go to call waiting" rule.  Plus, as I said in my initial post, I do have some important calls I'm waiting on, including test results and a call from my brother and parents.  It wouldn't be a big deal to flash over, find out it's my brother, flash back to my friend, wrap up our call, and then speak with my brother.  I just think that when I tell an unsolicited commercial caller, even one who works for a company I use, that it isn't a time I can talk, they should respect that.

When I realize I have answered a telemarketer call, I say "We're not interested, thank-you, good-bye."  or "We're not interested, please take us off your call list, good-bye."  And then I hang up.

I don't give them the opportunity to challenge it.

If you end up in the middle of the call, use a stock phrase to end the convo immediately and hang up.  "I can't talk right now, good day to you."  <click>

"I'm afraid you didn't hear me, I cannot speak right now.  Good bye."

Don't wait for an acknowledgement.

[veronaz]

If you end up in the middle of the call, use a stock phrase to end the convo immediately and hang up.  "I can't talk right now, good day to you."  <click>

"I'm afraid you didn't hear me, I cannot speak right now.  Good bye."

This sends the wrong message.  It makes them feel it's okay to call at another time.

I also don't see where it's rude for OP to have call waiting.  If she wants that feature on her telephone, it's her prerogative.  As far as interrupting the conversation, OP said she was expecting an important call.