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Author Topic: Changing seats at a party multiple times.  (Read 5251 times)

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Re: Changing seats at a party multiple times.
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2013, 01:08:47 AM »
Four times isn't coincidence (twice, maybe; by the third time -- deliberate).  She sounds like she was trying to get your goat so ending the friendship sounds like a good call.  I wonder how good of a time she was having if she were so focused on taking your seat each time you got up (she'd have to have been keeping an eye on you all that time).


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Re: Changing seats at a party multiple times.
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2013, 01:40:41 AM »
You say you used to be friends; she probably still wishes to talk to mutual friends of yours.  Perhaps she doesn't want the awkwardness of you two being in the same chat circle together, so when you vacate a seat, she may see that as her "turn" to get to talk to the friends you were just chatting with, so she takes the seat.


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Re: Changing seats at a party multiple times.
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2013, 05:44:22 AM »
Possum said what I was thinking.
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Re: Changing seats at a party multiple times.
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2013, 10:07:13 AM »
OK, maybe I read this differently--I got the impression that the OP sat in several different seats throughout her time at the party, and EVERYTIME she got up from a seat, her ex-friend would then move and take her seat, even when other chairs were available, so that the OP would have to collect her belonging and move elsewhere.  Sorry, that can't be coincidence in my book.

I only sat in several different seats because when I got up and came back, she was sitting in my seat every time.  So you do have it right.

There were only about 30-35 adults using seats in that area.  The teens were on the other side of the room.

If it was once or twice out of several, I would say that the woman was perhaps waiting for you to leave so she could join in and catch up with the people you were previously speaking with.  (not wanting to intrude while you were there).

But every single time you got up, that's ridiculous and childish.  Evil me might have after the 5th time just before I get up look around pointedly and find her and wave her over while getting up as to say, Hey I am ready to leave, you can sit now! with a cheerful smile and leave.


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Re: Changing seats at a party multiple times.
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2013, 04:09:24 PM »
You ended the friendship for a reason, you mentioned it was great to catch up with other friends and that you were sorry that you stayed away.  So it's sounding like 'the friend' was feeling a little apprehensive over how the friendship ended and how you were explaining your absence from the group, perhaps.  So she jumped into your seat after you left your seat to ensure her standing in the group hadn't changed.

By her behaviour she knows she wasn't at her best with you and now is ensuring there is no fallout within the wider group of friends, while jumping into your seat when it's empty is saying 'I'm not sorry'.  She was probably hoping you'd make a little scene about sitting in her chair, that she could turn around to the group and let them know just how hard your treating her.

So ignoring the silent jab was great, keep having a good time despite her being there was golden.  It effectively cut off any rude jab that she may have wished to make regarding how your treating her.  Your decision to end your friendship with her obviously hit the mark, and the way you rose above her behaviour at the first group gathering shows a level of maturity that rose above her behaviour.  If she keeps it up at the next gathering, then it will become obvious to others around you why you ended the friendship.