Author Topic: How to keep my sanity - virtual strangers sharing our hotel room **LONG**  (Read 7841 times)

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TootsNYC

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I think that your DP's calling has influenced this attitude in her. And it's really not appropriate.

I have known several ministers in my own denomination quite well; and several of them have told me that their training included the instruction that they were at all times to put their wives first, and their children second--before any church members, before the church organization (local or bigger). That they were NOT to sacrifice their family's interests or their family's comfort for their role as a pastor.

Only God himself comes before all--but "the members of my flock" are NOT "God himself"; and that the minister's FIRST calling by God is to be a spouse and parent.

That's something for you to discuss with your partner. She's caught up in the giving-ness of her role as a pastor. But she's not allowed to give YOU away. Or to give your interests away. And her role as your spouse comes first. Before the religion. Before any other human being.

LifeOnPluto

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I think that your DP's calling has influenced this attitude in her. And it's really not appropriate.

I have known several ministers in my own denomination quite well; and several of them have told me that their training included the instruction that they were at all times to put their wives first, and their children second--before any church members, before the church organization (local or bigger). That they were NOT to sacrifice their family's interests or their family's comfort for their role as a pastor.

Only God himself comes before all--but "the members of my flock" are NOT "God himself"; and that the minister's FIRST calling by God is to be a spouse and parent.

That's something for you to discuss with your partner. She's caught up in the giving-ness of her role as a pastor. But she's not allowed to give YOU away. Or to give your interests away. And her role as your spouse comes first. Before the religion. Before any other human being.

I think this is a great, insightful post.

OP, I'm really glad things are working out for you.

PeterM

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I do so enjoy it when I read a thread with a frankly horrendous situation and find it's sorted itself out by the time I get to the end.

What do you suppose are the odds that someone at the hotel reads E-Hell? I know if I worked there my reaction would be, and I quote, "Oh hell no!" I'd happily lie about fire codes if the OP called and asked.

Gyburc

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OP, I'm so glad the hotel have given you this 'out'! I hope that you and your DP have a lovely, stress-free trip and plenty of time to unwind together.
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RebeccainGA

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Thanks, y'all. Gotta say, leftover pot roast of contrition sandwiches are a great breakfast, too. LOL

I must say, in her defense, that this is an isolated 'duh' for her - she's usually good about asking me. I think it was a combination of excitement at seeing her friend, excitement that she COULD have this opportunity to spend a lot of time with her, and the pain meds she was on for that broken tooth extraction that led her to be a twit. She has apologized again, and appears relieved that the fire marshal said no for her (the call to her friend was short, polite, cordial, and is DONE).

I appreciate all the good energy that came our way. One more hurdle or so, and we're in the clear for a bit. :-)

Piratelvr1121

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My DH has done this sort of thing before, though recently it's worked out well for us anyway.  Such as he once invited a couple camping with us but since his friend's in the armed forces and was stationed in the Midwest it would be difficult to make the arrangements and secondly, the guy and his wife aren't big into camping. 

While I like the guy just fine and he cracks me up, his wife drives me up the wall.  I've lost count of how many times I've told her Sailor Moon isn't my thing and bean dipped only for her to  keep talking about Sailor Moon. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

bopper

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That darn fire marshal!  Good.  Enjoy the pot roast of contrition.

My german exchange student has made Kasespaetzel of contrition before.

CakeBeret

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That darn fire marshal!  Good.  Enjoy the pot roast of contrition.

My german exchange student has made Kasespaetzel of contrition before.

Your German exchange student can come be contrite in my house anytime. :D


OP, I'm so glad the situation is resolved.
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The Wild One, Forever

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OP, that is a great update, and I am so relieved on your behalf.  I was fuming when I thought of how you'd so carefully planned and saved the money for this nice trip, only to have it changed p on you.  Glad it worked out.

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Winterlight

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Whew! Glad to hear it's worked out.

I would have that talk, but after the conference.
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And how, and when, and where.
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hobish

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My DH has done this sort of thing before, though recently it's worked out well for us anyway.  Such as he once invited a couple camping with us but since his friend's in the armed forces and was stationed in the Midwest it would be difficult to make the arrangements and secondly, the guy and his wife aren't big into camping. 

While I like the guy just fine and he cracks me up, his wife drives me up the wall.  I've lost count of how many times I've told her Sailor Moon isn't my thing and bean dipped only for her to  keep talking about Sailor Moon.

:) I remember you posting about that.

Post dental surgery pain meds will definitely make me feel a little extra friendly and generous. I have had to remind myself not to make any plans, and especially not to volunteer for anything when I am on them.  ::)
It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
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peach2play

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I have to admit, I was the one who extended a generous offer with out consulting my SO.  The weekend turned out to be a huge fiasco and I still owe him a month of Apology Pot Roast.  We now have a "safe word" for things like this...it's tent.  He can look at me and say tent and I will immediately know I should say wait, not possible, or I need to figure it out before I say yes.  I'm working on it. 

I am so glad that the OP was able to work things out and the trip is saved!

NyaChan

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I have to admit, I was the one who extended a generous offer with out consulting my SO.  The weekend turned out to be a huge fiasco and I still owe him a month of Apology Pot Roast.  We now have a "safe word" for things like this...it's tent.  He can look at me and say tent and I will immediately know I should say wait, not possible, or I need to figure it out before I say yes.  I'm working on it. 

I am so glad that the OP was able to work things out and the trip is saved!

Any chance you'll share the story?