General Etiquette > general

I snapped (added details on post 23)

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DF and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for a few years now. When we go out to dance, we always go to the same ballroom where we take classes, which is also owned by out dance instructors.

Last Sunday was horribly hot and humid, but we decided to go out and dance anyway. I admit I wasn't really feeling it, but I figured I'd get in a better mood once I started.

So, we come in, dance every single dance we know for about half an hour, rest a couple of minutes, then get up again to try the traditional waltz, which is a) pretty fast and b) one of our worst dances.

We danced a bit and left the floor before the song was over - at this point I'm a bit out of breath. At this point, one of my teacher's friends comes.

Man: Would you like to finish the waltz with me?
Me: No, thank you.
Man: Why not?
Me: I just don't feel like it
Man: You know, your teacher sent me over.
Me: Okay, I still don't feel like it.

This went on for a bit longer in a similar vein, with the man insisting and I refusing.  At this point I'm starting to get pretty irritated - I even sent my DF a "please-help-me" look, but I don't think he got it.

So, I finally ran out of patience, turned to the man and snapped: "You know, it's bad manners to keep insisting after being told no."

The man said I should go and ask him when I felt like dancing - judging by his tone, he was offended.
DF also thinks I should not have been so rude.

I'll try to reign in my temper next time, but what do you suggest I say besides "no, thank you"?

 I would have left rather than put up with that.  I have the right to decide who touches me,, not some random guy - or a dance teacher.  If you can't accept "no" I don't want to be where you can try to force the issue again.   So I may be the last one to give advice on this.

I don't think you were rude at all.

You only need to say "no" once. If someone insists, you can walk away.

Okay, I can see how what you said might have been construed as rude, but nothing nearly as rude as continuing to insist after being turned down several times. At that point I'd have considered going to the instructor at a later time and telling him/her that it's REALLY not okay for him/her to send random guys over to dance with you when you've decided to sit out. And why you choose to sit out is your own business, nobody else's.

--- Quote from: Last_Dance on June 18, 2013, 12:40:40 PM ---I'll try to reign in my temper next time, but what do you suggest I say besides "no, thank you"?

--- End quote ---

If a simple no doesn't work, get up and walk away. Relocate to somewhere else along the side of the room. If the random dude follows you, turn to him with an icy stare and say, loudly enough for other people to hear, "I said no." Gather your things and leave the dance hall. If your DF follows you, great. If he doesn't, entertain yourself outside until he leaves.


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