Author Topic: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43  (Read 13428 times)

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Peregrine

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #60 on: June 17, 2013, 02:54:11 PM »
When you are ready to tell Bonnie that you are moving on, what you might do is pitch it to her that you are easing your daughter's transition into pre-school by starting her at their care center before she begins full time pre-school there.  That way she gets used to the place.

Whether that is your primary motivation or not, it might give yourself and Bonnie a way to save face and move on from her time as your DD's primary day care giver.  If you trust Bonnie to be back-up childcare it might also be a way to save her feelings.  I realize you don't owe Bonnie anything in this situation, but reading between the lines you seem at least a little bit conflicted about how things are going to end, and you do care about Bonnie as a person.

Eeep!

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #61 on: June 17, 2013, 02:57:08 PM »
When you are ready to tell Bonnie that you are moving on, what you might do is pitch it to her that you are easing your daughter's transition into pre-school by starting her at their care center before she begins full time pre-school there.  That way she gets used to the place.

Whether that is your primary motivation or not, it might give yourself and Bonnie a way to save face and move on from her time as your DD's primary day care giver.  If you trust Bonnie to be back-up childcare it might also be a way to save her feelings.  I realize you don't owe Bonnie anything in this situation, but reading between the lines you seem at least a little bit conflicted about how things are going to end, and you do care about Bonnie as a person.

This is a really good idea! Because, like I mentioned a bit ago, it really will be easier to just have her staying in one place.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

nyoprinces

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #62 on: June 17, 2013, 05:19:52 PM »
One thing that stuck out to me is that she's asking for you to pay for a day that she wants you to keep your DD home (July 5), and also asking you to pay for the extra/floating/changing days you need to work. Why in the world didn't she suggest a trade of July 5 for one of your floating days? I think it's reasonable for her to charge you for extra days over and above the usual arrangement, but if she's requesting a day off outside of your previous agreement, it doesn't make sense for her to ask for that to be paid as well.

wolfie

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #63 on: June 18, 2013, 03:27:26 PM »
Any updates? I know you were talking to Bonnie yesterday. I hope that went well.

bah12

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #64 on: June 18, 2013, 03:37:58 PM »
DH and I talked to her yesterday about expectations.  I think we've come to an understanding on paid time off.  She's entitled to up to a week outside of Christmas week with 30 days notice, so these additional days (like July 5) are not acceptable.  She agreed that if she takes additional time off, that she would not be paid and that we are still owed a courtesy 30 day notice (barring emergencies). 

We never really reached a concensus on the "sick" issue.  Bonnie said that all the parents are complaining and I encouraged her to call the licensing board and clarify with them what the standard is, because her interpretation is not in line with other daycares and schools.

We did not tell her that DD will be switching care.  I'll give her 30 days notice in a couple of weeks.  The timing really sucks, because she's on vacation right now and she will only be back for a few days when I give her notice.  Things are smoothed over for now.  Now, I just need to figure out how to communicate our switching daycares and why we're making the move (I actually think it's the right thing to do independant of this particular issue, but that will not be easy to separate). 

Lynda_34

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #65 on: June 18, 2013, 04:00:35 PM »
You owe her 30 days notice.  That doesn't mean your child has to stay there for the 30 days.  It just means you owe her a month's wage.  Get DD situated in the new daycare ASAP.  Then let Bonnie know you've made the change.  Tell her you will pay her 30 day notice as soon as you can.  Also if you're firing her then I don't feel you owe her anything.  You've got three issues to fall back on including the July 5 day switch.

You and your husband may have to live frugally for a month or two so you can afford this expense.  However, based on Bonnie's random behavior I wouldn't leave my child with her for the 30 days.

Situations can be different but there is some anger here and I wouldn't subject my child to this or stress myself out wondering if everything is ok.

Also, my granddaughter is in a professional daycare situation to the tune of $200 a week. So I do understand having to pay daycare in two places is expensive. 

Lynn2000

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #66 on: June 18, 2013, 05:36:26 PM »
For the discussion, I like the idea of stressing that you were always going to change DD once she was in school, because the new place is closer to (actually at?) the school, and its environment is similar to the school. That's more convenient for you and more consistent for DD. Maybe they have increased educational opportunities that Bonnie is not equipped to provide. And, you want to start her now, during the summer, so that it won't be one more big change in the fall, on top of actually starting school. Probably there are other kids in daycare who go to the same school, so maybe DD will make friends with them, and thus have some friends at school once it starts.

I think if you stay cheerful and matter-of-fact, she would have to be very bold to outright bring up being "fired" herself. You could assure her that you hope she and DD will continue to have a relationship through occasional extra babysitting opportunities, if in fact this is true.

And, Lynda_34 makes a good point. It really depends on how you think Bonnie will act after you've given her the 30 days' notice. Certainly you would hope she would continue to be kind, or at least professional; but it might be wise to have a back-up plan, just in case, which you might not need at all, or only for two weeks of four, etc.. Depends on what's feasible for your family--having a relative in for a week to watch DD at home, taking a week's vacation yourself, paying Bonnie AND the new place for a week, paying Bonnie AND a local teen/college student for a week, etc..
~Lynn2000

NyaChan

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #67 on: June 18, 2013, 05:44:35 PM »
I would just put it in terms of wanting to transition her to a school-like setting so that she gets used to the idea of preschool and kindergarden.  That is a legitimate (and true) reason for pulling her out of the home-care situation.

Deetee

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #68 on: June 19, 2013, 12:51:29 AM »
I have two suggestions that depend on your finances.

Option One (expensive): Do not give a month notice. Just pay for a month of childcare in both places. 

Option Two(Cheaper): Give notice, but give it in the warmest, most grateful way possible. You obviously have warm feelings towards her for the first 3 years of quality, loving care. Make up a picture album of your little one growing up and picture with the caregiver. Write a GUSHING and warm and detailed letter (just think of everything wonderful that happened before things went sideways). Give a thoughtful and expensive gift (a week of childcare) of flowers or a gift certificate or fancy food basket or something semi practical and nice. (Like 6 months of cheeses or something similar). Do not mention anything about recent annoyances and treat them as trivial in light of the years of fabulous care.

Also, I will mention that I feel for you. When I was arranging care for my daughter, we had the option of home care (cheaper and more individualized) and large scale. We chose large scale because I really wanted the consistency. It cost more. The hours are inflexible and there are more days off (all stat holidays and some pro-d days). But I just wanted to know what I was paying for. Once in 3 1/2 years there was one unplanned day off (I don't count the times we showed up and the daycare was closed because we didn't realize it was a stat). I preferred to get less for more money in exchange for knowing exactly what I would get.

TootsNYC

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #69 on: June 19, 2013, 09:36:25 AM »
I love Deetee's option #2. I think it's the wisest course. And it leaves things pleasant behind you, because maybe there will be a time when you'll want to see if Bonnie can assist your family, professionally.

And because there is the personal aspect to it.

SoCalVal

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #70 on: June 23, 2013, 01:13:53 PM »
While I think it does Bonnie a disservice to not be completely upfront with her about why you leaving now, I do think leaving on a pleasant note is the best option for you (not burning bridges).  However, I think if she asks if there were areas where she could improve, I'd be honest with her but in a "loving" way (as a PP stated -- let her know about the positive experiences you had).  Bonnie admitted that other parents are complaining, and she should be able to figure out from the talk you and DH had with her the other day where she's crossing the line.  I don't think she's quite getting it though and, since she seems to be something of a friend (unless I read incorrectly), I'd be inclined to let her know where things weren't working out recently (but emphasize you were going to move DD to another daycare anyway because of school coming up -- again, not to burn bridges in case you may need her in the future).



Lynn2000

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Re: What constitutes 'sick'? (Childcare questions) Update #43
« Reply #71 on: June 24, 2013, 10:30:06 AM »
While I think it does Bonnie a disservice to not be completely upfront with her about why you leaving now, I do think leaving on a pleasant note is the best option for you (not burning bridges).  However, I think if she asks if there were areas where she could improve, I'd be honest with her but in a "loving" way (as a PP stated -- let her know about the positive experiences you had).  Bonnie admitted that other parents are complaining, and she should be able to figure out from the talk you and DH had with her the other day where she's crossing the line.  I don't think she's quite getting it though and, since she seems to be something of a friend (unless I read incorrectly), I'd be inclined to let her know where things weren't working out recently (but emphasize you were going to move DD to another daycare anyway because of school coming up -- again, not to burn bridges in case you may need her in the future).

That's a good point. Maybe for now, emphasize the positive (Deetee's Option 2), and then in a few months, when DD is happily settled in the new place that you were always going to move her to anyway, you could catch up with Bonnie over lunch or something. If the conversation turns to her business and she sees open to advice, you could say, "Well, to be honest, there were a couple of times when I felt like you wanted a vacation day, which I totally understand, but it was inconvenient for me and DH, and not what we'd agreed on. Like that one Friday when you told me DD was sick and I had to leave work to take her home, and it turned out she was fine. And she was the only kid you had that day. I'm sure it's not what you really meant, but it came off looking bad for you..."
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