General Etiquette > Family and Children

DS stood up for a smaller boy-what should I do (if anything)?

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WillyNilly:
I think its ok you got involved when your son pulled you in. But "two for flinching" is a pretty common games for kids, especially boys, and unless there is some sort of escalation I don't think you should do anything further or try to get the boys in trouble. So if you hear its continuing to happen, or know of any escalating violence, get involved, but for now, its done and stopped and over with. As for Bobby's mom, you might mention it, but I don't think its worth making a big deal over.

Oh the one hand I do understand the whole "no bullying" culture we have adopted, and in general its a good thing, but its also important to remember friendly roughhousing is a normal type of play for all mammals as they grow up. Its fine line between the two but IMO some roughhousing between kids is normal and even a good thing.

Judah:

--- Quote from: WillyNilly on June 18, 2013, 06:18:10 PM ---I think its ok you got involved when your son pulled you in. But "two for flinching" is a pretty common games for kids, especially boys, and unless there is some sort of escalation I don't think you should do anything further or try to get the boys in trouble. So if you hear its continuing to happen, or know of any escalating violence, get involved, but for now, its done and stopped and over with. As for Bobby's mom, you might mention it, but I don't think its worth making a big deal over.

Oh the one hand I do understand the whole "no bullying" culture we have adopted, and in general its a good thing, but its also important to remember friendly roughhousing is a normal type of play for all mammals as they grow up. Its fine line between the two but IMO some roughhousing between kids is normal and even a good thing.

--- End quote ---

This, totally. *Unless*, Bobby didn't want to play and was being forced to by the older boys.

bonyk:
I'm thinking if this was normal rough-housing, DS wouldn't have been so upset.  Let Bobby's mom know, and she can decide what to do about it.

MorgnsGrl:

--- Quote from: WillyNilly on June 18, 2013, 06:18:10 PM ---I think its ok you got involved when your son pulled you in. But "two for flinching" is a pretty common games for kids, especially boys, and unless there is some sort of escalation I don't think you should do anything further or try to get the boys in trouble. So if you hear its continuing to happen, or know of any escalating violence, get involved, but for now, its done and stopped and over with. As for Bobby's mom, you might mention it, but I don't think its worth making a big deal over.

Oh the one hand I do understand the whole "no bullying" culture we have adopted, and in general its a good thing, but its also important to remember friendly roughhousing is a normal type of play for all mammals as they grow up. Its fine line between the two but IMO some roughhousing between kids is normal and even a good thing.

--- End quote ---

I don't agree. I might feel differently if it was a game where ALL the boys took turns trying not to flinch, but if Bobby was the only "flincher" then that sounds to me like an excuse to hit Bobby under the guise of a "game." Also, I think "friendly roughhousing" is between equals, not between a number of older boys and one younger one.

EllenS:

--- Quote from: MorgnsGrl on June 18, 2013, 06:32:51 PM ---"friendly roughhousing" is between equals, not between a number of older boys and one younger one.

--- End quote ---

Agree.  The thing that troubles me about this scenario is not the punching, per se, but the fact that a number of older boys were recruiting each other purposely to gang up on the littlest one.  The emotional and physical difference between 13 and 10 is significant.

Kudos to your son for putting a stop to it.  I think you handled it just right, but I might mention to Bobby's mom to keep an eye out, and find ways to encourage Bobby to speak up for himself.

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