First of all, we weren't piling on her. The questions about what she said were presented in a quiet way by another family or two over a cup of tea.
'Grandma, here's what the brochure says about the resort'.
'Please Grandma, look at this article again and tell me what it says'.
MIL has always been a little dramatic and ditsy. When she was in her 60s, people just shrugged these things off as, 'That's just the way she is'. Now that she's in her mid 90s, we're concerned that people where she lives may begin to believe that MIL suffers from Dimentia. That is why we need to be very gentle and polite when these things come up again.
I'm very confused. She may well be suffering from dementia. How is that anyone else's business and who cares if they think it is?
You can't control what others think. I am really confused as to who your priority is--other people and what they may think, or your grandmother and her health.
People will always talk. They will always have something to say.
My issues is this. If your grandmother is showing symptoms beyond being ditsy to where you feel she is cognitively impaired, then you should be concerned about her health and not her reputation.
It's not really scandalous to think that a 90 year is not quite all there with the facts.
And of course you should always be polite but even what you have described in sitting down with her and having her go over the pamphlet and asking her it says comes across as condescending, not caring--because its about something that really doesn't matter.
If she is not understanding how to turn the stove off, that's a real concern. But, not understanding that 7 million people graduated from all of China and not just one university really isn't. One endangers her life, the other does not.