Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Surprise vow renewal - bad idea?

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perpetua:
I just see the potential for all sorts of awful things to go wrong with something like this.

Talking generally now, not about your family, OP, but what if a couple who were surprised with a vow renewal were in couples counselling or even actually on the point of splitting up and hadn't yet told anyone? Imagine having to go through either the sham or the awkward explanations necessary in turning down the gift.

Yvaine:
I also know people who believe a vow renewal is only for after serious problems in the marriage, and so they'd be embarrassed to do this because they'd think it was signaling relationship issues that don't actually exist.

Please don't surprise them with this--if you do want to do this idea, ask them about it and see if it's something they'd want, with plenty of advance notice.

TurtleDove:
Add me to the list of "don't do this!!!!  Throw a surprise anniversary party, but keep the vow renewal out of it. 

ettiquit:
LOL - well I'm glad this wasn't actually my idea.  It sounded cool at first, but then I started thinking "Wait, do people DO this?".  It would seem not! 

So neither will we.  ;D

Harriet Jones:
You could always ask if they'd like to incorporate a vow renewal, though ...

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