When I was a 13 year old girl, my friends and I joked around and could take jokes. Sure, I cared what people thought of me, but it would never occur to me to be embarrassed about a mistake in a game. Never in a million years. It would also never occur to me that anyone else would be upset by it either. I guess different people react diffently. My experience is that more people see it my way. Clearly it's not universal! I do maintain, however, that people who are confident enough to not be rattled by such things tend to be happier people overall.
Honestly, I would have thought the boy was flirting with me.
Not everybody is automatically this way, though. Some of us need help to get there. Just telling her she's "wrong" or "too sensitive" is just cruel, in my opinion. You cannot help the first thought that pops into your mind, after all. Especially if she's had experiences where people really are being mean to her, and even more especially if someone has tried to tell her "it's just a joke" when she knows that it really wasn't.
I know that something that would have helped me in such situations (bullied unmercilessly at school and then not sure how to act when in places such as girl scout meetings) would have been if someone had reassured me that it was now safe. That of course my first reaction would be to panic and get upset because that's pretty much all I was used to, but this environment is not that one. It is safe here and people really
are just joking, talking as they would to anybody else. And maybe for good measure, somebody could have helped me practice how to react to jokes, to help me understand how to formulate replies such as was mentioned by a previous poster who said they would have said something about how I won't blurt out the answer again because that's the only way you
can get answers.
I am not disagreeing with you, Turtledove, and I don't think anybody else is either. I think we want the girl to get the help she needs to get to that point. And just telling her "you are too sensitive" will not help achieve that goal. What will help, IMHO, is support and encouragement to relax and feel safe, that it's okay to relax the hypervigalence and just enjoy, maybe for the first time in a long time, being just another person hanging out with friends.