This girl was not a drama queen--she didn't make a scene, etc. She was crying quietly in private. OK, the bathroom, but it was as close as she was going to get.
And I would NEVER use the words, "you need to [be different than you are]." What a HORRIBLE verb: "need to."
The truth is, she would be more powerful if she could be stronger in the face of that sort of situation.
But the way for her to end up stronger is *not* *not* *not* for someone to tell her that she "needs to be someone else."
The way to do that is to say, "Yeah, I get why it stings! But I want to point out a couple of things--your mistake was perfectly ordinary; most of the people in the room didn't care or thought it was funny; they all could make that mistake left right and center; and the other leader was frankly out of line, so it's really all about HER, and not about you. Ye gods, it was a game! So, please feel strong; please don't feel that you *really* have done anything terribly wrong. There's nothing wrong with you.
"The 'wrong' is in all those other people. I'm a neutral person, and I'm telling you, this is a fact. Believe it."