Author Topic: I think you missed part of the present . . .  (Read 2813 times)

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Slartibartfast

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I think you missed part of the present . . .
« on: June 27, 2013, 12:24:54 PM »
We went to a birthday party last weekend for a friend's son who was turning six.  He has pretty severe autism, so it was very low-key and unstructured - food and cupcakes were out for whoever wanted to eat, presents were put in a corner, and it was held at a walled playground so the kids (many of whom had special needs like autism too) could play or eat or sit in the shade whenever they wanted to.  I bought the birthday boy a slinky (he LOVED Babybartfast's last time he was over for a play date) and two passes to a local indoor playground.  The passes were in a small envelope, like you might get in a bouquet, partly tucked into the slinky box.

When he did come and was willing to sit still long enough to open a few presents, he dropped everything to play with the slinky for almost twenty minutes  :)  (Which was good, since he needed to come out of the sun for a bit!)  In the excitement over the slinky, though, I think the envelope got stuck in the box without my friend or her husband seeing it.

Here's my question - do I email my friend to make sure she saw it?  I wasn't thinking about it until after we left, and by now if she was going to throw it out by mistake, it's probably already happened.  Plus it would put her in an awkward position.  If she hasn't seen it yet and hasn't thrown it out yet either, though, I'd hate to not say anything . . .

Pen^2

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2013, 12:31:29 PM »
I would email, in case the envelope was left unnoticed in the box. I've known people who have thrown away tickers and things in similar ways.

Maybe something like, "Thanks for having us at Son's birthday celebration! We had a great time. I really hope he enjoys the slinky and tickets we got him. Best wishes, Slartibartfast."

This way, if she missed them, she has a chance of going back to find them if she still can. And if she didn't miss them, it's still a nice gesture to email "thanks" to her.

turnip

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2013, 12:31:56 PM »
I think you mention it - but kindly, and with a "Jeez, I hope it's not too late, but it just occurred to that you might not have noticed the playground passes!".   Make it easy for her to admit that they've been thrown away ( if they have ) without feeling a lot of guilt about it.

Would you offer to buy new ones if the old ones are gone?   I don't think you are obliged to, just to be clear, but if you were I'd bring that up quickly too - "Oh no, they got lost!  Let me just send over a couple more, no I insist".   I'd also wonder if the playground would be willing to help if you could assure them the passes are in the garbage, never to be seen again....


MrTango

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2013, 12:32:43 PM »
I would say something, just to reduce the possibility of it getting lost.

Actually, I would have quietly said something to the parents as soon as the birthday boy tossed the box aside and started playing with the slinky.

TootsNYC

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2013, 12:41:27 PM »
I would say something, just to reduce the possibility of it getting lost.

Actually, I would have quietly said something to the parents as soon as the birthday boy tossed the box aside and started playing with the slinky.


Ditto!

They may have thought it was the receipt, so an extra reason why it's good to say something in a case like yours.

And congrats on a successful present!

NyaChan

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2013, 12:56:50 PM »
I think you mention it - but kindly, and with a "Jeez, I hope it's not too late, but it just occurred to that you might not have noticed the playground passes!".   Make it easy for her to admit that they've been thrown away ( if they have ) without feeling a lot of guilt about it.

Would you offer to buy new ones if the old ones are gone?   I don't think you are obliged to, just to be clear, but if you were I'd bring that up quickly too - "Oh no, they got lost!  Let me just send over a couple more, no I insist".   I'd also wonder if the playground would be willing to help if you could assure them the passes are in the garbage, never to be seen again....

This is what I would say.  I probably would have said something right in the moment actually.  I gave a friend a box I had decorated to their tastes filled with candy and put a gift card to their favorite store inside.  They opened the box, saw the candy and thanked me profusely.  Knowing that they likely hadn't found the gift card, I just smiled and said "Keep looking, there's something in the candy!"  It worked and I don't see how pointing out the full extent of a gift could upset someone unless it is done in nasty tone.

MummySweet

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2013, 01:10:14 PM »
Say something!  Your friend might still have the box or a pile of envelopes.   She knows that birthday parties get crazy and the heads up that something may have been missed be appreciated.  "Hey, I just realized that you might not have seen an envelope that was in the slinky box..." 

 :D


Daydream

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Re: I think you missed part of the present . . .
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2013, 06:18:05 PM »
I would definitely ask her if she saw the tickets.  Don't worry about making her feel awkward -- she shouldn't if you say something like, "I know I should have attached them inside of his birthday card so you'd notice them.  I don't know why I didn't!" or "I'm sorry, know I should have said 'there's something extra in the box' when he was opening the slinky." 

If they did dispose of them, she might apologize as that is the polite thing to do, but you should not worry that she'll *really* feel like they (parents or child) did anything wrong (if you're concerned that she will).  And, of course, if she does still have the box but hasn't noticed the tickets, it is good to let her know about them.

I would consider doing this over the phone if you can reach her that way, as a small part of a larger casual conversation with, "Oh, I was just wondering...,"  then move on to other topics.

It's great that he played with the slinky right away!  It's always such a good feeling to know your gift was liked!   :D