General Etiquette > Life...in general

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citadelle:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on June 23, 2013, 02:19:45 PM ---
--- Quote from: citadelle on June 23, 2013, 12:25:16 PM ---
--- Quote from: Library Dragon on June 23, 2013, 02:16:49 AM ---
IMO she got pouty because you responded.  She was attempting to bully you.  Bullies will often get upset if they don't get their way. 

Again IMO, you feel "in the wrong" because you care about other people's feelings.  You don't want to be mean, cause hurt, or embarrass others.  When the cashier reacted by pouting you felt guilty.  It doesn't matter that you had nothing to feel guilty for. I often have the same reaction.  I don't want to offend and will brood over something I've said that the other person has long forgotten.

--- End quote ---

Yeah, I have kind of a hard time with confrontation. I always try to use humor to keep it light, but it kind of backfired on me this time. I really didn't want to be mean or embarrass her, even though I was embarrassed myself.

--- End quote ---

No, it didn't!

I can't stress this enough. You were pitch perfect. Absolutely.

If the woman hadn't been a manipulative bully, she'd have said, "Oh, whoops, sorry!"  (Actually if she hadn't been a bully, she wouldn't have brought the subject up AGAIN.)

I applaud your generous heart, but honestly, you were perfectly fine. This was a gentle rebuke. And she deserved it. She absolutely deserved it.

She was a manipulative bully. She could have gotten a much more aggressive response, and still deserved it.

You weren't even rude.

Look at it this way--what she did was so out of line. And because you embarrassed her *lightly*, she was uncomfortable. Which may mean that she'll have a chance to second-guess herself and NOT do it to someone else.

Growth is uncomfortable. Hopefully she'll grow.

--- End quote ---

Thanks. It is very helpful to hear that. :)

LeveeWoman:
I'd talk to a manager, either in person or by the telephone, ASAP because she might try this on someone who will give her a tongue-lashing (or worse) that will affect not only her but other customers.

strawbabies:
OP, I think the only thing you didn't already do perfectly was to not ask for her manager right then and there.  I don't care what her personal beliefs are.  You are a customer trying to purchase a product that was legal for you to do so, and she treated you very badly. 

I think you should call the store and complain to the manager so she doesn't do that to anybody else.

veronaz:

--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on June 23, 2013, 09:03:25 PM ---I'd talk to a manager, either in person or by the telephone, ASAP because she might try this on someone who will give her a tongue-lashing (or worse) that will affect not only her but other customers.

--- End quote ---

This.

I can almost guarantee she is doing this to other customers, and people just don't come back.  Store is losing business because of her and manager/owner needs to know about it.

Eden:

--- Quote from: strawbabies on June 24, 2013, 04:15:12 AM ---OP, I think the only thing you didn't already do perfectly was to not ask for her manager right then and there.  I don't care what her personal beliefs are.  You are a customer trying to purchase a product that was legal for you to do so, and she treated you very badly. 

I think you should call the store and complain to the manager so she doesn't do that to anybody else.

--- End quote ---

Agreed. You handled that perfectly and the manager should know how insulting his employee is to his patrons.

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