General Etiquette > Life...in general

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peaches:
I wish stores would teach checkers and sales associates to avoid making personal comments of any kind to customers.

A lot of them are young and inexperienced, and they need training in appropriate behavior around customers.

My pet peeve is when a cashier refers to me by name (because I'm using a reward card and the cash register brings up that information). This always creeps me out. I don't want my name used (what if the next person in line is a stalker?). I find it off-putting. It's a false sense of relationship (we aren't friends).

citadelle:

--- Quote from: Library Dragon on June 22, 2013, 06:13:40 PM ---You were fine.  She should be embarrassed.  The cashier was way out of line.  As anti-smoking as I am if I worked some place that sells cigarettes I'd have to shut my mouth and make any legal sales. 

I feel for your daughter.  How awkward for her to be called out like that.  You supported her in your response.

--- End quote ---

I felt for my daughter, too! Why drag her into it?

I just ended up feeling like I had hurt the cashier's feelings, like I'd gone along and then gotten snippy. If she had just dropped it, I would have too but she wouldn't stop. I am usually pretty tolerant of others, but it crossed a line for me. I don't know why it bothers me that she got pouty, why do I care? But the reaction caused me to feel like I was in the wrong, that I was too harsh.

veronaz:
When she said "No, smoking is bad for you" I would have repeated the request, then if she refused I would have politely asked for a supervisor/manager.

I would not have bantered with her.

I would also call and talk to the manager.  She needs to keep her editorial commentary to herself - whether it's about cigarettes, beer, lottery tickets, tabloids or whatever.  She is paid to ring up sales and collect money.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: citadelle on June 22, 2013, 09:10:26 PM ---
--- Quote from: Library Dragon on June 22, 2013, 06:13:40 PM ---You were fine.  She should be embarrassed.  The cashier was way out of line.  As anti-smoking as I am if I worked some place that sells cigarettes I'd have to shut my mouth and make any legal sales. 

I feel for your daughter.  How awkward for her to be called out like that.  You supported her in your response.

--- End quote ---

I felt for my daughter, too! Why drag her into it?

I just ended up feeling like I had hurt the cashier's feelings, like I'd gone along and then gotten snippy. If she had just dropped it, I would have too but she wouldn't stop. I am usually pretty tolerant of others, but it crossed a line for me. I don't know why it bothers me that she got pouty, why do I care? But the reaction caused me to feel like I was in the wrong, that I was too harsh.

--- End quote ---

She intended it to.
That was *VERY* manipulative. Perhaps it was instinctive and not a deliberate manipulation, but it was manipulation nonetheless.

She deserved to feel embarrassed--she was in the wrong. And instead of being a grownup and taking the lumps that she created for herself, she did the little kid thing and pouted, which is absolutely a ploy to make you feel bad.

It is when a little kid does it, and it's no less pouty when a grownup down it.

"I was kidding"--yeah, right.

sweetonsno:
You were fine, especially if you kept it light when you asked her to move on.

She shouldn't have made the comment, even if it was supposed to be lighthearted. I don't think you necessarily need to go straight to super firm, but don't joke around. "Yes, I know they are bad for me. I choose to smoke anyway/It's a very difficult addiction to kick/I'm trying to quit/Whatever." Or, if you prefer a softer approach, "I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I'm well aware of the risks of smoking already. Thank you for understanding."

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